If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Slippery boots and a 37 year old ice auger.

Kaitlin and I went ice fishing yesterday.  Well more like ice sitting I suppose.  The fish were not biting and I believe it was due to the warm weather and southerly winds.  Don't ask me how the fish know the direction of the wind they just do.  (usually a south and or east wind is a predictor of low pressure)  All the same it was quite a morning.  The snow had melted from the lake and it appeared to be made of glass.  It was so slippery that there was no way to walk without ice cleats on your boots.  The ice was transparent and you could see everything under it to about 8 ft deep.  Really neat and kind of scary too.
The next pic is straight down through the ice.  What you are seeing is sand and a few weeds.
Depth about 3-4 ft.

The white things are little pebbles.  That is my reflection at the bottom.
We fished/sat for a couple hours and then called it quits.  It was better than sitting at home!

Of course without ice cleats guess who got a free ride?
That is Bobby in the background.  He and I work together.
A friend of mine had some ice gear he didn't use so he gave it to me which included this fabulous jet sled and a 6 inch ice auger that he bought back in 1974.  Which just happens to be the year I was born.  It worked like a charm and shaved it's way right through the ice.  Thanks Harry.

Not much more going on here.  I cancelled the New Years Eve Dinner.  Not enough interest from anyone.
Think we will start looking at houses again.  Time to get out of dodge.  Start a new life.  Away from ex-friends and old habits.  I'm anxious and ready!  If all goes well maybe gone within 90 days.  We will see.
Waiting to hear from the mortgage broker on our qualifications.  There is plenty of houses to chose from.

Have you seen our Christmas Dogs?


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Sledding the Himalayas and overcooked sausage :(

Well the sausage is finished and I confess I overcooked the snack sticks.  I got distracted building a snow sled race track with Kaitlin.  It wasn't huge but we had a ton of fun.  By the time we were finished I had shoveled any loose snow within 30 ft of our track and had hauled out some plywood from the shop to correct some grade issues we were having on our initial test runs.  The run went from the top of the barn drive and into the pasture via a rocky debris strewn hillside.  This was as close to the Khumbu Ice Falls as you can get in our yard and we took full advantage of it.  I am cursed with an overactive imagination.  Unfortunately I always have to return to reality and I informed Kaitlin we had just spent $20,000 on our Himalayan adventure.  Anyways here was our route.  I say was because the temps have reached almost 40 and the snow is melting fast.

Even Gunner had to go for a ride!

Believe it or not he sat in the sled the whole way down the hill.
So needless to say boys will be boys and inside that little crack in the barn door lay my sausages burning away in the heat of an unattended smoker. 
They were supposed to be 160 degrees when I pulled them an they were 180 when I finally got to them
Yeah they are now jerky sticks.  On a good note the summer sausage was perfect.

You don't even need cheese!!!
Woke up this morning to a freezing fog and it was gorgeous.  Everything had a lite coating of ice.

This is a pic of the treeline about 300 yards from the back porch.  It didn't turn out like it looked but I tried.

So today I unloaded the muzzle loader.  How? Pull the trigger.  Bang!!
Cleaned it and put it away until next year.  Then I cleaned the mud room / hunting room.
This is the area I have been throwing my clothes, guns and gear for the last four months.  Yeah it was pretty ugly.  Everything from rifle shells, grunt calls, to goose decoys.
Then I dug out the ice fishing gear!!  Boys will be boys.  Now the kitchen counter is laden with fishing poles and ice jigs awaiting my morning adventure. 
Until next time, Poof!!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Who wants Sausage????????

Ok all my relatives who haven't recieved their Christmas present from me yet.......here ya go.
I started a 30 lb batch of snack sticks and summer sausage.  As well as a few pounds of jerky. (which may not leave the property)
First I ground up my venison (I emptied the freezer and pulled the plug) and the pork.  I purchased 13 pounds of "country ribs" and used those for my pork additive.
Some of the ribs had a nice center to them so I couldn't bear to strip em out so I saved them and stuck 'em in the freeze for a dinner.
They were on sale and I think I paid around a $1 a pound.  Yummy.  Makes a great fat additive for sausage.
Next I distributed the pork evenly into each 10 lb batch.  About 2.75 lbs per 7 of venison.
Next I added 1 lb of cheddar cheese to each batch.

Of course I had help.  You think these dogs would leave my side during a sausage making session?
Next I measure out my seasonings, cure and water and mixed in the blender.  Added that to each tub and mixed thoroughly by hand.   The next picture is a stick gooey mess that you end up with after mixing.  It's supposed to be that way.  I add a touch more water than required so it is easier to work with and runs through the stuffer better.  Then load into stuffer canister.

Slide on your casings.  I use edible collagen casings smoked to a mahogany color. 
Turn the crank and voila you have snack sticks.  I spray all surfaces of the stuffer and tubes with cooking spray so everything slides better.  Because I have a big smoker I run my casings in lengths of 8-10 ft.

With slight pressure on the nozzle I crank until the "stick" runs back and forth on the counter top about 4 times.  If I fill the nozzle with casing. (approx. 7 inches worth) it will run out about ten ft of sausage stick.
Don't leave on your counter top any longer than necessary because the casing will leave red marks and their a bi$%h  to get out.  This part takes a little time because you have to reload your casings and your canister.  My canister holds about 9 lbs. and will make about 30 ft of sticks.

I didn't photograph pictures of stuffing the summer sausage.  It's the same thing just on a bigger scale with a bigger stuffing tube.  I cut my casings to make 1 lb chubs for shipment to the relatives.  The larger ones will stay at home.
Once your done it's time for a cold one.  This is a Leinenkugels Creamy Dark and it is very good.

For my seasonings I use a mix that I purchase from Butcher Packer out of Detroit.  I recommend you visit their site.  They have an excellent selection of fresh and smoked sausage blends and really do cater to the DIY person.  They have very reasonable rates and ship fast. By the time I finished stuffing it was too late to fire up the smoker so I let it rest until today.  Bright and early (10am) I fired up the smoker bucket with some charcoal and laid out my racks and grates for the sausage.
The racks are double stacked as you'll see below.
I managed to pack in 30+ pounds of sausage and a couple pounds of jerky not pictured but are now where the two drip pans are setting.
That my friends brings you up to the minute on my adventures for the day and now I shall head to the barn to check temps and add a few more coals.  I suppose I may only send packages to my relatives and friends who comment and follow this blog site.  That would be a great way to get more followers and commenters.
I know of an Aunt and Uncle who live in Tennessee who haven't signed up as followers and or commented.
I have heard through a Floridian that they are avid readers!!!!!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

OMG and the Smokino

Christmas was nice this year.  We had ours on the 24th and I must say I was the one that was acting like the little kid running around this year.  The kids are getting older and there is no rush anymore to rip open presents.  In fact one little princess we had to threaten just to get her out of bed.  I won't name names but it wasn't Joe, Angel or me!!

Perhaps I had one too many pots of coffee or maybe my subconscious knew what lay in store for me that morning but I must confess it was truly an excitable event. 

The presents were exchanged and we opened them, all very happy.  I was receiving tortuous hints from the family for days such as I need to make a payment on your gift and it is a really cool collection of gifts and you are really gonna like it.  Now mind you I had made a comment about a new mixer and those things (the good ones) are around $300.  So I'm sorta thinking that line of culinary equipment.  I had pointed out a new set of kitchen utensils that all matched and were quite nice.  As well as a new set of pots and pans, the ones endorsed by Rachel or Paula.  So that was where my mindset was.  That is a collection of gifts and also expensive enough to make payments on and they are really neat.  What I was about to receive was mind blowing and the first time I have been caught off guard at Christmas.   Yeahhhhh Meeeee!!!
OMG!!!
Yeah I know awesome huh?
I won't go into details but you know when Ralphie from The Christmas Story runs out side to shoot his Red Ryder BB gun?  That was me.
I can't describe how totally surprised I was and I am flattered that my family would do something like that for me.  Amazing morning!!
After our morning festivities we headed to Grandma and Grandpa's for Dinner.
Spiral cut ham, cheesy potatoes, green bean casserole, etc, etc...
Yummy. From there the kids went to their Dad's house so they could celebrate Christmas on the 25th with them. (we alternate all our holidays so we will have them the 25th next year)
So the in laws came to our house on the 25th and I cooked.
I had a smoked turkey breast, my cheddar bacon potato mash and of course green bean casserole.  Twice in a row doesn't bother me a bit.  For desert a banana split ice cream cake.
After dinner they talked us into going to the casino with them.  Well talked me into it.  Angel was putting her coat on before the O in casino was even pronounced.  (Little gambling addict)  I do not like casinos and I usually get mad when I lose money.  This time the in laws gave each of us $140 to donate to the Indians.  So I didn't mind too much.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Pan fried walleye and Dinner ideas

I can't let my walleye dinner slip away without a couple pictures.  It wasn't fancy and we all ate in the kitchen on the big counter top.  I remember my Dad cooking this way and if you hovered around him while he was cooking he would give samples.  We dined on walleye, shrimp, calamari, home cut fries and a T-bone steak. (Momma is not a big fish fan)

I prepped the fry station.  I need a new deep fryer because mine will not reach temp anymore.  I just found that out.  My digital temp probe gave that away.

I battered the shrimp and calamari and rolled the walleye in dry mix.
Deep fry for the shrimp and calamari and a pan fry for the walleye.

The shrimp and squid I bought from the local grocery store.  The shrimp were uncooked with shell on.  That is the only way to buy them up here that will give you a half decent flavor.  I grew up on fresh shrimp from Florida so it's hard for me to eat "other" shrimp.  The calamari was frozen and cleaned already so it was really easy to work with.  Momma does like fried squid.  Go figure!

The t-bone I simply seasoned and threw it on the set it and forget it for 20 minutes.  I couldn't run the fry station and keep going outside for the grill.
I scrubbed and sliced the potatoes and threw them in the skillet to fry.

Golden brown shrimp and walleye




Calamari

I know this is no heart healthy meal but I only bust out the deep fry tools a couple times a year.
As you can see in the pic above I use Drakes fry coating.  It is subtle and doesn't cover up the flavor of the food.  The walleye was awesome.  Cooked just right it was flaky and firm. 
There was a couple fillets left so I froze them and Kaitlin and I will have fish tacos very soon. 
Working on a New Years Eve menu now.  I'm thinking roasted beef loin crusted with a garlic and rosemary.  Cheddar and garlic mashed potato baked in the oven with panko topping and bacon bits and some of my green beans sauteed with bacon, garlic and onions and finished in chicken stock till tender and then a molten chocolate cake with peppermint crumbles served in individual ramekins.  I've seen these recipes on the food channel and have tested all but the beef so I know they are good and I am confident in my abilities to cook for multiple people.  Should be spot on and besides that the little cakes are awesome.  When you cut into them molten chocolate comes flowing out of the middle.  It's like having cake and licking the beaters at the same time.
Of course I will have to bring out the pomegranate martinis again.
The liquid sits in a bowl full of fresh cut fruit such as pineapple, lime, lemon, starfruit, apples, oranges, mango and so on.  Whatever is fresh at the market.
The flavor is out of bounds but don't get carried away because you'll be singing at the dinner table.  Very Strong!!
I don't have an appetizer picked out yet but the crab stuffed mushrooms are always a hit and seared scallop served in an avocado ring, sprinkled with chorizo crumbles and a pinch of cilantro is refreshing.  The bacon wrapped potato wedges drizzled in honey was a huge success as well last time.  (More than I thought it would be.  I had to give out the recipe before the night was over)  Now I just need some guests!!!LOL

Friday, December 24, 2010

New feature on the blog

I tried a new feature on my blog.  You'll find it at the bottom of the page.  I am not 100% sure how everything works but the gist of it is you sign in or register at the bottom and your picture pops up.  The screen will show the top ten users or close to that anyways.  people reading my blog will see your picture and when they click that, if you register correctly,  they can go to your blog as well.  The top person/reader will appear at the right of the bar as the one true fan.  This will change according to how many times people read my blog.  You will need a twitter or facebook account to register and it seems as though the facebook app is down at the moment so I signed up to twitter.  My picture isn't showing (just an egg) but I will figure it out.  I am looking for more ways to get my blog out to the masses.  I have been stuck at 13 followers for awhile now.  Yeah I know take the hint, "You Suck".   I'll go down fighting anyways.
Perhaps if I monetize my blog it may help.  Does anyone make any money off of it anyways?  That is not my intention and I feel it misrepresents who I am.
I am on here for fun and because I love to write.
There is more details on the new app in the blog updates and info on your dashboard.  Sorry I am not computer savvy just barely capable.
Of course I never blog without pics anymore so........here!
Who pays the fine now?  I'm confused!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

A man in trouble!!

Yes that is the title of my new docudrama/reality show.

It's not animal hoarding (which I did catch a glimpse of today.)  234 cats in one house is not hoarding.  That is a psychotic episode that can be treated with Viagra.  How you say?  Keep taking them in rapid succession until either you or the cats disappear.  I guarantee it to work or your money back.  Trust me if your gone the cats will eventually disappear as well.  I am not an animal hater I love cats.  They taste like chicken.

It is not about drugs or alcohol (however you can draw your own conclusions as to how they relate to the story line)  I do like to watch the show Intervention.  I always cheer at the end when the people have stayed clean for months on end.  That is a great show to exemplify the human spirit and bring everything crashing back into reality and spoon feed you right in the gut!!

It is not about who can lose the most weight.  I filled out an application for that show but they said I wasn't fat enough.  Oh yeah I'll show you fat!!  Just kidding.  I have a hard time getting my shoes on because my feet are too far away from my body is all.  :) 

It is not about who is the best chef.  Lord knows we have enough of those already.  I need another DVR machine to keep up with them.  When the Top Chef gets Chopped in Kitchen Stadium and Rachel Ray stops being cute with an incredibly sexy voice then Gordon Ramsey will quit swearing and having Kitchen Nightmares.  Enough said I love em all but alas there is no food show intervention to save me.  Even blogging keeps me in the clutch of the likes as Big Dude, Cowgirl and the Montana Queen with their never ending delightfully, irresistible posts on culinary feats of extraordinaire!!  I'm fat enough just watching and reading!!

It is certainly not about surviving in the wild with only a possum's tail and a plastic fork missing one tine.  (Although if Cowgirl was with me we would be dining on smoked possum)  A survival blanket with two holes in it and an old snowmobile track.   For one I would never squeeze the juice form elephant dung and drink it.....without a stalk of celery and some Mrs. T's bloody mary mix!!  I would never eat raw fish....without a dozen oysters to compliment it.  And I would most certainly never walk endless miles of sand......y beaches without sunglasses so I could peak at lovely ladies without my wife knowing.  Trust me she knows anyways.

It would certainly not be about Non A-list celebrities.  Sorry Baldwin boys, Hasselhoff and Danny B.  Kathy you are in the mix too.  (although I do find you quite humorous)  I mean c'mon they are already celebrities list or no list.  Put someone else up there so they can enjoy the limelight too.  I'm ok with loving a nobody just not a has been.  By the way where is Punky Brewster these days?

I suppose I better get to the point.  I enjoy writing to much and I could keep you here all night, day or bathroom break.  Ewwww!

My show is about a man/husband/father (when you read that it should be pronounce man, slash, husband, slash and so on it's more dramatic that way plus it extends your bathroom break.)  My goodness I am addicted to parentheses.  There's something you haven't spelled in awhile.  Sorry!
The show and the slash guy are about to take on the joys of Christmas shopping and birthday shopping with only 2 days to go before Christmas.
He has a limited budget and can not write Thursday checks.  Remember them?
I threw the birthday in there cuz Momma just had hers on the 22nd.  Lawd knows you jist can't have da burfday presents wit da Christmas ones!!!  Sorry old lady from Stephen King's The Stand just came out.  Ol Mother Abigail. 
She could be the voice in the beginning of the show.  Something like,
"Now ol mister Jeffro done decided he had best get to buying the missus her gifts fo' he done runned ouda time".  I love that accent.  I could listen to that all day especially if it came with a pot of gumbo.
No really I did pretty good yesterday.  I can't go into details for obvious reasons.  Dah missus can git up on the smart box n read dis. 
It was fairly calm.  Tonight however I went to the store for a couple things to finish up dinner and look out!  You can always tell the last minute shoppers that can't find anything to buy and are in serious trouble of pissing their wives off because they are hauling out a shopping cart full of TV or vacuum cleaners or something else that will break the budget but keep the wives from gnashing their teeth.  My self I go with the motion sensor floodlight for my wife.  The ultimate perfect gift (especially if she knows how to wire it). 
That TV show would be hilarious.  If it aired before Christmas it might remind us nincompoops to get off our buts and get it done.  Yeah probably not. 
Car crashes at the mall, credit cards declined, horrible wrapped gifts.  That is the stuff that sells.  People love to watch other's misery.  Whatchoo think?

Our Christmas is tomorrow though.  This year the kids will be at their father's and step mother's for the 25th so we have ours on the 24th.  Two! yep count em 2 Christmas' for them.  It will be a fun day.  So tonight is our Christmas Eve dinner and we are having, not in any particular order, Calamari, shrimp, walleye, home cut french fries and a t-bone steak (for momma). 

Dinner at grandmas tomorrow.  Dinner at my house Christmas night.  I have a smoked turkey breast for that.  That's enough for now.  I did see this neat sign the other day and it may explain why I am not seeing many deer.

(I came back to edit.  Sorry you can't see it.  It says car deer buckpole.  People hang parts of their car on the pole that came in contact with the deer.)

I love living in a redneck town.  Those crazy ideas you have....they are ok for public display.
Last but not least I was totally serious about the light. :)

See that look?  Totally in love with it.  Homerun all the way!!!
Merry Christmas my friends!!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Favorite Posts and French Villas

I went ahead and remodeled my blog page this morning.  It took forever.  My computer can be so slow sometimes and when changing the colors and backgrounds it feels like ages are passing by.  I removed the wine and cigar reviews.  I just don't do enough of them anymore.  I haven't had a glass of wine in who knows how long.  A cigarless fall and early winter as well.  My cigar stock disappeared with early goose season.  Nothing major just redirecting funds is all. 
I hope you enjoy the new gadget.  I went through my blog history and pulled a few posts that I thought best described me and my blog site.  Then there were a few that I just wanted in there. 
We will be planning a new adventure soon.  Hoping to purchase our first home within a couple months.  We love to look around at houses and yesterday we went for a ride and drove by a couple of them.  There was one in particular we kinda fell in love with.
It is a stone house with a stone garage and shop with it.  Sits on an acre and a half.
It reminds me of a quaint house in a sleepy French village.


I don't know if it will be available when we are ready to buy but who knows.  They will have to come down on the price as well.  It is listed at $129,00 and we would like to keep it around $110 so as not to strap ourselves with a large house payment.  We still have the rest of high school and college to pay for.  This is a very unique house and will not appeal to most buyers so there could be a deal on the horizon.  The garage has a shop connected to it that has heat in it so I can picture myself sitting in a big leather chair next to the wood stove with a thick book, a big cigar and a giant cup of coffee.  Ahhhhh!
Plus the big barn is nice.  Not sure for what but I can think of something.  I can see a small greenhouse out back somewhere as well.  Isn't it fun to have dreams and aspirations?

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Sweat Pants and Cupcakes!!!

Good morning and welcome to the fabulous world of Jeff.  Fabulous as long as you enjoy licking windows and picking your nose in public.  Yes I am truly not built right.  I believe there is some connective tissue in my brain that's well...not connected.  I do know one thing though and if I offend any of you well....too bad. 
People please do not wear sweat pants in public.  Yes they are comfortable and in fact I am wearing them now.  I just got out of bed though.  Do not under any circumstance wear them to court.  You are mailed a summons as to when to appear at court many days in advance.  So the excuse of nothing to wear does not hold any salt with me.  What does salt have to do with anything I don't know I didn't make up the phrase but now I have to research it and find out. 
I took baby Joe Joe to court yesterday(he had a fender bender) and yes I made him leave his cell phone in the car.   It was an informal hearing and the officer recommended the charge be dropped to defective equipment so no points would be levied against poor baby Joe Joe.  It was very nice of the officer to do this and we thank him immensely.  We are stuck with the $115 fine but that is OK.  So we are sitting in the waiting area (waiting to be called. what else do you do in a waiting area?)  and in walks these two women and there two childrens.  Yes I spelled it that way on purpose so you can set up the vision in your head.
They walk directly pass the sign that states "No Cell Phone Use In This Area" on their cell phones of course.  Jabbering away about their baby's daddy.  Of course it draws my attention and I glance over and what do my wondering eyes should appear.  A lady wearing sweat pants with a cell phone in her ear!!  (That rhymes in case you didn't notice:)
I am not perfect by any means and I hate to judge but c'mon people that is how you get yourself a bad name.  Doing stuff like that and thinking you have every right to do whatever you want whenever you wish.  Why does it bother me so much?  Mostly because 10 to 1 our tax dollars are supporting them and their cell phones and their baby's daddy. 
System milkers is what I call them.  Believe me it doesn't matter what color, race or creed you are.  If you are a system milker then I don't like you and would love to knock you back into reality.  You can blame the politicians but when it comes right down to it.  You have the choice to make.  It's whether or not you have the cajones to make it!!
Of course baby Joe Joe is dressed to the hilt in Christmas attire.  A white turtle neck with a black vest and on that vest is a variety of Christmas themed patches and jingle bells to boot.
I asked him,"Is that what you are wearing to court?".  He of course says yes and because it's the holidays and secretly I thought it might win over the magistrate (it did) I conceded.
It actually looked kind of neat.  Not gonna work this summer though.
That's all I have on that.  I had to get it out.  We did have another Birthday in our household yesterday.  Gunner turned three so we had more ice cream and cupcakes.

I had to come back and edit this post because I just noticed Remmis tongue sticking out in the picture below.  That dog loves his treats!!
OK here is a comparison of when gunner was 3 months and 3 years


Here is Gunner with his favorite Grandpa.  When dad was here Gunner was always right next to him.  In bed or on the couch it didn't matter.

I Love my big brown dog.  Happy Birthday Gunner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Lovely Ladies With Buck Saws

We went Christmas tree shopping last Saturday.  Same farm as last time except his selection of fir trees was dramatically lessened from last year.  We still found a very nice tree.  Within 15 minutes it was located and the cutting commenced.  My big tough daughter loves this kind of stuff.  She gladly took the saw, laid right down in the mud, half buried under pine boughs, and began the cutting.
She is a trooper and just a glance at her you would never guess that she would like cutting down trees, cutting up deer(also playing with the carcass as it hangs in the barn) making venison snack sticks, hunting, fishing and numerous other things that most girls wouldn't touch.  She even put her friend to work hauling the tree back to the barn.

Not really sure I was needed this year.  I love it.  Now she knows exactly how to take her family tree shopping when she grows up and can enjoy the hunt and the fun of it all over again. 
The tree still sits in the den, right behind me actually, unadorned and lonely without it's lights and shiny ornaments.  I feel bad for it but that will change this weekend.  I will dress her up and and she will be pretty as ever.  But for now I'm going hunting.  There is a shortage of venison and my freezer that I am having a heck of a time trying to rectify.  Maybe today is the day. 
Can you picture this lovely young lady under a tree with a buck saw in her hand?

If only she had her step father's demeanor instead of her mother's.
Damn genes anyways!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Nabisco Hair Style and plastic in the road!

Well what do you know it's winter in Michigan.  Our first blizzard arrived on Sunday.  Blizzard is classified as extremely windy with snow and or blowing snow, we had all three.  Not much for accumulation but extremely treacherous.  I hunted Sunday morning as the front was pushing through.  Temps were in the 30's and the rain had just turned to snow.  Big fat wet flakes that stuck to everything.  Very pretty out in the woods.
The deer weren't moving and I had to be back by 10am to get the smoker fired up for some summer sausage, or should I say winter sausage.
This is a shot of the back yard from the barn around noon.  Snowing so hard it looks like dusk out.

So it was sort of an exciting day.  Running back and forth to the barn through the blizzard like winds.  Each time the tracks from the previous trip had disappeared.

Joe had his holiday concert at school Friday night and we went and watched that.  It was pretty good.  Three different choirs and 2 different orchestras performed.  It was fun but long.  Plus there was this little old lady in front of us and I was transfixed on her hair.  I don't mean to be mean but it reminded me of Nabisco shredded wheat cereal.  Big biscuit like things in a bowl of milk.  Yes I had to take a picture.  Heaven please forgive me.

My punishment, for making fun of this old ladies hair, was a nice crash up derby on the way to work this morning.


I was going slow, about 12 in a 25 and was coming up on a 4 way stop and started to apply my brakes.  It was black ice.  There was  Jeep Cherokee stopped at the sign and i was still a good distance from the intersection and no other cars were in the area.  So I am trying to stop but not terribly worried because she should be leaving the intersection at any moment and I will just slide on thru.  So as I am sliding, still, she is not moving.  Just sitting there.  So i try to steer around her but the car won't turn.  By this time I am doing about 8-10 mph and she still sits there.  Now I'm screwed and I know I am gonna hit her and bang right into her rear end.  And the trailer hitch I might add.  So I get out and check my car and it's wasted but not leaking antifreeze so i leave it running.  I walk over to her and she gets out, i ask if she is OK and she says yes then she looks at her bumper and says, " huh, didn't do anything to my car".  Yep not a scratch.  At that moment I see a way out of this and I ask her if she is good and she says yes and gets in her car and drives away.  No cops called.  No ticket, no points on my record and no fines.  Now I only have plpd insurance so I will have to pay all the cost of repairs but it's better than cops.  I don't like cops.  So I left work early and came home and made it somewhat roadworthy.  I had to hook a chain to the front and the other end to a telephone pole and back up real fast to straighten it out but it's better.  $250 will buy me new headlights, hood and bumper.  What are ya gonna do?
I think as she drove away she transformed back into the little old lady from the concert and chortled to herself, "Nabisco shredded wheat my little old A$$".
Damn bad drivers anyways!

I never did get to see the little old ladies face but I bet it looked like this!


Yeah I know I have another accident on the way.  I just can't keep my mouth shut.
Damn old mouth anyways!!