Sunday Salutations and Puppy Piles

So I'm sitting here watching the dogs play in the pool, a cold beer in front of me, steaks marinating in the fridge and I have this crazy urge to write something clever.  Something that will make you think about me for the rest of the week.  I can't right now though because I have to keep an eye on the dogs.  With a psychopathic neighbor who threatens to break all our necks should the dog set foot on his property again I must be on top of my game.  An outstanding vigil is a must when you live within the confines of such murderous property lines.  I can't figure out what makes these people tick.  Why are they so angry about things.  My blog readers have pretty much grown up with my two dogs and you know they are about as evil as the Disney Chipmunks.  No not Alvin Simon and Theodore either those rodents are just flat out annoying and are the types I deem sacrificial in the annals of target practice.  The other ones, which back in the day when i watched cartoons(yesterday) did not even talk.  Regardless of the rodent infestation I just managed to trip over my dogs are cuddle mutts, masters of the puppy pile and if they would have indeed caught the neighbors cat.....a wicked tongue bathing would have ensued.  Remmi and Gunner have a thing for cat butt.  I think all dogs do but these ones especially.  So no harm would have come from the chase.
I suppose this may be the last time I post about this particular set of neighbors and it is sad that I could not make their acquaintance on better terms.  I have always been a lover not a fighter. 
So it is on to different worlds that I stray.  Friday is our closing date if you haven't heard and this may be my last post for awhile.  We will be moving over the holiday weekend and it will take some time to get Internet service set up and what not.  So thanks to all of you who still read this blog and congratulations to those who don't.  I bid you all a wonderful Fourth of July weekend and I will catch up with you when I can.
Thanks again,
Bushman

Why do we always have to match...stupid colors!

She looked at me as though I were made of playdough and cashed welfare checks
I was dressed as I thought most middle aged men are, when they leave the house in a panic to get more gas for the lawn mower and finish before the wife starts hollering, "Were Late". 
I wasn't attending a fund raiser or a gala but the way those eyes looked me up and down was quite unnerving and if you know me , not much will UN my nerves.  The fact that she was radiant in her sundress and flat sandals with the little yellow flower on them might have lured me into the belief that she was a nice person.  I think I was mistaken. 
My cheaply made camoflauge crocs bore the brunt of my green, grass stained toes and the tan line stopped short at the ankle rendering it impossibly true that I was of the middles class demographic at best.  Her eyes moved to my shorts.  Khakis with little holes in the thigh area from too many washings.  Her indignant smug grimace made it clear that this was attire donned only by the unaware. 
Next was the t-shirt, a gift from friend, a little tight but nevertheless the words Puerto Rico still glowed a magnificent yellow and held promises of wonderful island adventures.  To her not in the least.  A snort of air from her delicate nostrils confirmed this. 
I wasn't sure what to do as her eyes moved from my benevolent Puerto Rico chest coverings up to my eyes.  It was there where she lost her nerve.  The green and brown all mixed together and swimming in a sea of wonder is what did her in.  A glint buried deep in the recess' locked her gaze to mine and once she was locked in my gaze I asked her a simple question," Honey do you need anything from the store?"

Ahh shit I couldn't help it.  My old lady is always ragging on me about my style so I put it to good use!!

A Stud in New Blue Jeans

Good morning fellow blog readers.  I have been looking forward to this day for a bit now.  The weather's been crappy (cold/rain) and today is supposed to be nice finally.  Momma's gonna be busy for most of the afternoon and this evening and the roommates are heading out on their Harleys for a day trip so its just me and the mutts, a cooler full of beer and some good old fashion yard work.  Hey what can I say I'm easy to please.  Beside if they didn't want me drinking beer and mowing the lawn then why in the hell did they put a cup holder on the darn mower?

I read a blog this morning by Pearl and it had a line about wearing new pants and it reminded me of the time I had just acquired some new pants.  I'll share if you promise not to.......never mind here it is.

I love new blue jeans.  I especially love to wear them without washing them first.  Weird yes but then again look who you're dealing with.  So one day I put on my new jeans and went out for a round of errands.  Momma was at work (obviously) and I was just running around town and having a good old time.  I had a fresh hair cut and a shave and I was feeling proud.  Now this was before  I gained all the weight and I was somewhat of a decent looking guy.  I'm not one of those guys who thinks all the girls are after him but I gotta say everywhere I went that day people were checking me out and I thought I was gonna have to get more new jeans if this was gonna happen.  I felt pretty good about myself and pushed my chest out a bit further and held my head just a little higher. 
When Momma got home I had to relay my day to her and as I was boasting and bragging about how everyone was checking me out she reaches down and pulls a 2 foot long size sticker off the back of the leg of my new jeans and says,"I bet they were honey, I bet they were".

Thirsty Thursday and My top Ten

Hello and welcome to Thirsty Thursday and my Top Ten.
I haven't posted since last Thursday but what the hell I'm sure you have plenty to read and don't need me for a filler.  Things are going swell and I couldn't ask for better.

Baby Joe Joe's open house went well.  Good turn out, good food and the little schmuck made almost 3 thousand dollars from it.  Which is good because it cost us parents half of that just to have it.  A big thanks to all who helped out and those who blessed us with their appearance.  Except for the Jehovah Witness who showed up and handed out flyers.  You are not thanked.  Consider this a warning.
Thankfully it was before the appointed start time because I might have been just a wee bit upset.
Baby Joe Joe's birthday was also this week and he is now officially Adult Joe Joe.  18 is the big number.
Wouldn't you know it the grays and whites really started popping in my hair and goatee now too. 

Well the beer for the night is Newcastle Brown Ale.  Imported from England and very tasty.  If you haven't tried it you probably should.  It has a smooth flavor with nice caramel undertones.

Here is the Top Ten for the week good or bad you decide:

#1  Closing on the house Friday July 1.........(it's about fu$%in time)
#2  Closing on the house on July 1.........(no house payment due until September)
#3  Closing on the house next friday.......(I have scheduled my vacation for the week following 10 days)
#4  Closing on the house a week from tomorrow......(no.....this doesn't get old)
#5  Closing on the house in 8 days.........................(finally something new to blog about)
#6  Closing on the house in 1 week and 1 day........(Sorry Rachel I know you only switched jobs so you
              could be home to enjoy my cooking)
#7  Closing on the house in 192 hours.................(Thought I was gonna run out didn't ya?)
#8  Closing on the house in .........................(Ok I'm done)
#9  Did you hear the one about the guy who was closing on his house?
#10  And last but not least................I'm Moving Bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for suffering through that.  I'll leave you alone now.  I'll try to keep up with all you professional bloggers but you know sometimes I like to wander.  See ya when I see ya!!

Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten

I missed a few things yesterday so I had to add them in this morning!
Check out my post of the week....it's a good one from last year.


Hello and welcome to Thirsty Thursday and my Top Ten!
I must say it's been a good week.  Lots of good things happening and I'm just gonna let 'em.
I think I'll start today's post with a little story, not like the one from yesterday with the pregnant lady and all that jazz because that was completely made up.  Sorry I had an impulse writing day which consists of writing down the first thing that pops in my head then making a story out of it.
Any who this one is about a guy at work.  There are lots of guys at work that are not wrapped too tight or as they say about as sharp as a marble.  This particular guy is pretty sharp but is wrapped a bit too tight.  A solid dose of Ritalin everyday might knock him down to very hyper.  His name is Van.  Yep Van.  If he was small we could have a blast calling him mini-van but he's not.  I won't disclose last names but Van is a funny Mother%$#@*;. 
I was asking about bug control the other day and the topic of bug lights came up.  Van had apparently gotten his hands on a commercial grade 4 foot long bug zapper that was shaped sort of like an everyday fluorescent light.  He had to remove the guard on it to repair it and hung it outside that way without re- assembly.
He came home one day to find his wife and her friend outside drinking up all the beer in the house and having a good old time.  Well perhaps jealousy or just plain ol grumpiness got the best of him and he stated ranting and raving about beer cans everywhere and this and that.  As he was expressing his feelings he was also stooping over to pick up the empties.  When he stood up the back of his neck touched the bug zapper and CRACK knocked him right out and he crashed to the deck in a puddle of empty beer cans.  It was the funniest thing I had heard all week and figured I better share.  He also said when he came to moments later the girls were still hysterical with laughter and tears flooding their cheeks.  Touche' for grumpiness.

Next in line for an honorable mention is I won a giveaway here in the blogger world.  Oilfield Trash over at Make Daddy A Sammich recently advertised that his friend had published his first book.  Anyone that wanted a free copy, compliments of Oil, should simply state Free Zombie.  I did and I won the book.  How fricking cool is that.  Now get your ass over to Oil's house and check his place out.  Tell 'em Bushman sent you and also check out his pimp from the other day on  Just Cheese.

Ok let's get serious here.  Beer: Killian's Irish Red.  An old stand by.  I stopped  at different store and this was the best I could find.  I picked up a 6 of Shiner Bock last night and lost 4 of them.  A very smooth beer but I really expected more flavor.  I guess the word dark on the label had me pre-conceived.

Next in line----Top Ten
#1  House appraisal is finished and in the hands of underwriter.  Possible close date of next Thursday or
      Friday.................(Ima hoping)
#2  I won the Zombie book.......(no explanation needed...eat your heart out losers)
#3  I have a new toy for throwing tennis balls for dogs.......(thank you dear Rachel)
#4  They finally graded the road......(then it stormed....shit)
#5  My fake story from Wednesday seemed to throw everyone for a loop....(yeah I'm loving it)
#6  Big day coming on Saturday......(Baby Joe Joe's open house)
#7  Rachel said she is gonna screw up my closing so I can't move out...(yeah it's not dear Rachel anymore)
#8  Crazy neighbor must have died......(our lawn looks better than his now so I think he is in hiding)
#9  Hello to a new follower The Angry Lurker welcome to the blog....(guys got some cool shit check it out)
#10  I now have as many mosquito bytes as my computer had mega bytes....(did I get that right?)

And with all that said I think I'll shut up and drink my beer and enjoy this blissful moment.  You just never know when it's gonna go to hell again.  Not just the weather either.
Until next time.......

Big PS
As I was linking up the post the crazy neighbors cat came out with the skanky neighbor wife and guess who seen it..Remmi of course and he takes off on a dead run and chases the cat thru their garage and around the house.  Next thing I know his son is running after my dog and comes running up to me (within inches) and starts screaming that he will break my dog's neck and break my neck and then the nasty old broad tells me I need my dogs on a leash (were ten miles out in the country).  Not the cat but just the dogs.  So how I managed to look him square in the eyes and say I'm sorry my dog chased your cat and calmly walked away is beyond me.  Perhaps George Killian had me at just the right level.  Cuz now I'm ready to kill the little fucker!

Watch what you say.....and where you nap!

I never meant to step on my own tongue, shit just happens.  I have this issue about speaking before thinking or something like that.  Dad always said it was gonna be my downfall.  Anyways Dad said a lot of things I never paid attention to.  Like smashing mailboxes with a bat is a federal offense or one of these days the cops are gonna come knocking.  Well they did and it is but that's not the story here this one is just a simple one liner that slipped out and it cost me in the end.  The bitch of it is, its been done before and I never should have fell for it let alone repeated it but like I said my Dad told me.....

I was heading into the store for some Limburger cheese and some 3 day old smelt to make a fish sandwich representative of the one they sell at Burger King when this very pregnant lady walked by my car.
She had 3 very ill-behaved children behind her, fighting over an apparently just bought, little league baseball bat and one small little girl in the seat of the cart just out of diapers who was screaming at the top of her little lungs with snot streaming from every orifice on her face.  In fact she was almost choking on it.  The three young ones in tow might have been a pair of twins and a single,  not sure, the dirt on their face was quite camouflaging.  I was taken aback slightly but being raised in a crack house I was used to sights that would unnerve Howard Stern.  So I don't know why I said it but it just slipped out and none too quietly......
 "Like you need another one!"

She paused only for a second, almost unnoticeable, continued to her beat up Dodge mini van and unloaded her groceries and children.  I watched her for a second, thinking she had heard me but then realized she must have not because she was unloading and packing snot nosed children into the van.  I shook my head and turned to walk into the store.
 I was ten paces or so from the door when I heard,"Hey asshole"!
I turned (mainly because that's my other name) and there she was standing in front of my car with the baseball bat that the three boys had been fighting over.
 I could see the fire in her eyes from 30 yards away.  Her smug look with the curve of her smile just barely turned up.  I was too far away to stop her and she gave me a quick nod and blew out my windshield with that Louisville slugger bat that was in child's size. 
I half screamed, half yelled and was slightly embarrassed by the sound of it and took off in a shambling flip flop wearing run towards her and the million crumbles of glass that now coated the parking lot in a demonic, dazzling, diamond display.
When I was a mere 4 feet from grabbing the bat from her hands she swung.  She swung hard would be a better description.  The aged and dried ash made an eerie crack as it landed upside my head and the last thought I had was the song "I smashed his head with an aluminum baseball bat, my name is Mud!"

I was awakened shortly thereafter by the honking of a horn and I realized I had fell asleep in the drive thru at the bank.  I had stopped there to withdraw cash to go to the store.  I pulled the car out of line and into the shade of a large Ash tree.  I needed to collect my thoughts and my head hurt!!
I didn't go to the store that day but as I was pulling out of the bank a mini van drove by, packed full of snot nose kids and the lady driving it looked at me and smiled with a slight wave of her hand.

WTF!

Sunday Salutations and Miss Verizon

Good morning and welcome to Sunday Salutations.  Streaming live, once again, from Microsoft 2007 word processing program.  Miss Verizon does not want to connect this morning, she does not want to be friends and she will not pass go and collect the $200 I so willingly offer in trade for her services.  Call it wireless prostitution, illegal trade, bribery or just plain wrong I don’t care just as long as she comes to her senses at least once today and allows me to post on the day of the actual writing.

Of course she will probably link up as I am mowing the lawn and once finished she will detect the absence of noise and shut down again.  Quite possibly she may fire up when I leave for a barrage of graduation open houses or just briefly as I’m making breakfast.  Unfortunately there is no cable available at the new house and I will be forced to deal with wireless internet services there as well so I may as well get used to it.  Hell for all I know there may be something unplugged. (It’s wireless dumbass)

I’m not a computer wizard by any means but my dear Rachel is so I trust it won’t be long before she forces lil’ miss bitchy Verizon to succumb to her will.  She also took my old computer to work with her (she teaches computer something or other) and fixed it up for me.  She looks at me all serious yesterday and says,” you only have 328 hookie mookies in your gravitational cylconemeter Jeffrey, it’s no wonder your computer is slow.  Don’t worry I have some extra hootenannies that will fix up your gubernitchl just fine.”  See it pays to have smart friends. 

Someday I may be able to repay her with a well honed skill of mine.  She might need a hole dug or I could hold down a piece of paper if it’s windy or perhaps point at something on the wall.  I have a multitude of these skills just waiting in the wings to be released.

I told her yesterday she might only have us here for another 10 days or so because the house should close real soon and she said,” Damn it!  I was hoping your house would never close I like having you here.”  I’m sorry dear Rachel we must move on down the road literally it’s just down the road.  The same road too.  A ten minute car ride is all it is.  You can come over to my house and I’ll feed ya there!

We came home yesterday from lunch with the in-laws and the crazy neighbor’s wife was out in the garage in a mini skirt cutting someone’s hair.  She had legs all the way up to her chin and I thought I should just get a lawn chair and sit on the property line and watch her.  I’m thinking he would probably come out and try to get her to put some leggings on or something.  I could take a few pictures, maybe a stray whistle or two.  Of course all this would have to be forced interest because the legs look nice from the road but I’ve seen her closer and she’s about as pretty as a toad’s ass in a moldy straw pile.  However the outcome of these initiated events is unforeseeable and I like my chest without a load of buck shot in it as well as my tires full of air and my dogs alive and not running amuck in the neighborhood.  So I’ll just play nice for awhile longer.  I shouldn’t leave Rachel and Lant a bigger mess than they already have.

I don’t have much else to talk about that you would want to hear so I’ll beg off for now.

Have a great Sunday and I’ll see you soon!

Thirsty Thu..Fri...Saturday and my Top Ten!

Hello there and welcome to Thirsty Thursd...Frida.....Saturday and my Top Ten.  Yes I know it's a little late but hey you know what they say.  I did drink beer on Thursday however it was my lovely daughter's 15th birthday and we celebrated it at the local Mexican restaurant.  Then after that we went back to her Dad and Step Mom's house for cake and presents.  I also had to work Friday so there wasn't much room for computer time.
We had a good time at the restaurant and although it was all Kaitlin's Dad's family it doesn't bother me in the least.  It all kind of seems like one big family almost.  It's nice.  I sampled the fish tacos and gave it a solid 2 on a scale of 1 to ten.  They were not well thought out.  I received two tacos wrapped in aluminum foil that contained a small amount of crumbled fried fish (or cat) and some tomatoes and onions on the side.  Like a whole handful of chopped onions.  Who in the hell is gonna eat a handful of onions on a taco?  No crispy slaw or guacamole puree or anything else that I would presume to accompany a fish taco platter.  Then they gave me a tossed salad which was nothing more than chopped lettuce, cheese and yes you guessed it two handfuls of onions.  Whatever it didn't bother me as much as I make it sound here (drama boy) I was there for Kaitlin's birthday and as I watched her smile ear to ear and her eyes sparkle as she opened her presents and cards I didn't even realize I was eating onions....by the handful!  Of course the staff had to adorn her with one of those giant sombreros and sing her the patented Mexican restaurant birthday song.  To top it off one of the servers picked up the spoon to give her a bite and she actually opened her mouth (sucker) and he plopped it all over her nose.  It was hysterical.  It even went up her nose.  I expected her to turn around and nut punch the little chico but she didn't she just smiled and snorted as she tried desperately to clean whipped cream from her nose and still appear to be lady like!

I tell ya I don't know what I'm gonna do when both kids are gone.  I miss them tons right now and it's only been two weeks.  With them staying at their Dad's house full time while were in between houses I don't see them much.  Of course they are teenagers and it's summer break so they are oblivious to most things so I don't worry too much.  Baby Joe Joe was busy Thursday night and missed the party so I picked them both up and took them to lunch on Friday when I got out of work.  We had Chinese! (cat).  Then we went to see the house again because Joe had yet to see it.  I had the combo for the door because the realtor had accidentally forwarded me an email trail that had the combo in it. (shhhhhhh) so we peeked inside and I did see a business card on the counter from the appraiser so that's been done.  Getting very close now!

Ok back to the theme of this post my beer for Thursday was Dos Equis.  Two big mugs!  My favorite Mexican cervecez!  Afterwards it was Busch Light in Kaitlin's Dad's garage. 
Stay Thirsty my friends!
Last night my bride and I went out for Italian.  Cuginos in town Grand Ledge has some great Italian food.  I had a couple Newcatle Brown Ales with dinner.  (that is a really good beer as well)
Two days and three different cuisines.  Now I just need a nice French Bistro!

My top ten of the week, good or bad you decide:

#1........We had our annual health screening at work-----(I'll be fine if I lose weight, lower BP, fix
            cholesterol and stop drinking beer and being a human.  I'll miss you all!)
#2........Happy 15th to Kaitlin!!........(aka Pumpkin Head)
#3........I put 350 miles on my car in one week........(it took me 11 months to do 3000 before)
#4........Overtime Friday.........(inventory..it's like free money)
#5.......Crazy neighbor has been laying low.......(could be the laxatives I slipped down his well head)
#6.......Had ex landlords numbers blocked on my phone.....(no more harassing me or threats)
#7.......Drove by old house to double check for mail......(the garden is in shambles and the weeds are
            taller than the vegetables.  What a shame!)
#8......I have already began concocting plans for the ultimate garden at new house....(it will be a multi-
          level, super efficient, beautiful masterpiece.)
#9......Baby Joe Joe has his graduation open house next Saturday....(roasted hog and deep fried
           turkeys)
#10....A big thanks to all of you who take time to read this crap even as sporadic as it is!

Sunday Salutations and Jaw Clips?

Prelude:
Before you read this let me inform you that we are currently living in a no signal area (thanks Sprint) and I haven't been able to access my pictures that I e-mailed to myself through the phone.  They finally came thru and I was able to finish this post from Sunday.  Bear with me please!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good morning and welcome to Sunday Salutations.

The internet is not being compatible this morning so I’m saving to Word until Verizon gets back from Church or is recovered enough from its hangover to help crutch my blogging addiction.

I promised Thursday to let you in on what I believe to be an ingenious invention.  I had no idea these even existed until I happened upon it in our local grocery store. 
Here it is!

Yep jaw clips.  For those moments where she just won’t shut up.  A simple clip on the jaw of your mate will keep your day promising and bright.  The jaw clip works just as well for children although you may have to buy the smaller size.  There is a small disclaimer in tiny print at the bottom of the tag that states if jaw tag is used during the wrong week of the month that amputation of fingers is probable.  Well worth the risk I say.  You just need to be fast on the install. 

I also have (just for shits and giggles) a picture of the new, new, new house for your viewing pleasure.

It is an 1800 sq ft bi-level with 4 beds and 2 baths situated on an acre out in the country with a serene wheat field waving in the background and surrounded by trees.  To the south is the Thornapple River and at this stage in the river’s journey she is no more than a large creek.  At about 25 feet across and only a couple feet deep it is a soothing melody.  There is a section of woods between the house and the river no more than 60 yards wide however the woods continues on the other side of the river and stretches far to the west and encompass’ about 300 acres.  That is my new neighbor.  To the north is a grass field with trees and my other neighbor which at this time of the year I can only see the peak of his roof and one of his outbuildings at the rear of his property.  Nice and quiet and private.  The rear of the house has a raised deck that is accessible from the dining room via French doors.  It is from here that you can see the wildlife and watch the wheat dance in the summer breeze.  We are so lucky to have this fall in our lap the way it did.  I like this house better than the last one and as luck would have it our interest rate dropped and now our payment will be less than it would have been on the other house--- and this one cost more!  Fate or destiny I don’t care at this point just give me a home where me and my dogs can roam and I’ll show you…..

In the meantime we are nestled away at Rachel’s hacienda with her crazy neighbor.  We have been really busy so we are still adjusting but all is well and we are extremely lucky to have such friends.  Saturday was pretty hot and Momma was away at mini comets soccer camp and I was at home with the dogs.  So we played in the hose and went for a ride in the car then came home and played in the pool.  What do get when you cross three labs and a swimming pool?  Pure fun for puppies!  They had such fun and what a hoot to watch them play.

My inlaws found this little baby goose and it was woandering around the neighborhood without momma so they scooped him/her up and hauled it out to the farm to live a happy life.  He was so cute.

I suppose he's lucky I didn't turn him into jerky!

That’s all I have for today.  Stay tuned for updates and I’ll see if I can aggravate the neighbor some more and then I’ll have more stories to write.  Until then Cheers!

Crazy Neighbor and Beer Talk!

The little IGA grocery store was right around the corner from the post office and I thought I would pay a quick visit.  It is Thursday after all.  A six pack and I'll be gone, maybe one of those bags of Amish trail mix as well.  Amish trail mix is great stuff.  It has all natural ingredients like acorns, the tops of used carrots, some walnut husks and the best part is all the candied brown pellets.  I thought they were raisins but they seem a little fibrous.  Oh well it's Amish it has to be good right?
So I leave the store with my Thursday 6 pack tucked neatly into the passenger seat.  We engage in a little small talk not much though.  It's uncomfortable talking to your consumables.  Like a cannibal talking to his captured dinner. "Hey can you believe the weather today?  Hot one huh?"  So I kept the chit chat down to a minimum.
I hit the two lane road that stretches from one town to the next about a 15 mile jaunt.  The beer sitting there all smug, teasing me, knowing full well I can't rip his little steel head off until we have reached the safe confines of the driveway.  I give him a nod.
Finally after the last two miles of 50,000 pot holes per sq yard, dirt road I reach the house.  I look at the beer and smile.  The beer is now silent.  No smug look anymore and I can almost hear the pleading, or that could be my mouth clucking with dryness and thirst.
Out of the car I pop, grab the beer, let the dogs out of the kennel, grab the ball and head for the front yard for a little guy time with my boys and my beer.
Pop a top, throw the ball and look over and see the freaky, crazy, neighbor standing there in his Davey Dukes, shirtless, with his arms crossed just watching me.  Unnerving to say the least so I nonchalantly throw the ball into the back yard, grab the beer and head that way.
One toss into my back yard retreat and nincompoop neighbor pops out in the back yard.  Same position, same shirtless menacing posture.  Hmmmmmmm.  So I grab a chair off the deck and I head to the North side of the house.  Not the front, not the back but the side.  Not just any side but the side he can't see.  There I settle in with my two best friends and the other 4 friends who are fast becoming...shall we say empty!
I wonder what he was thinking. 
"Now just where in the sam hell did that boy go to?  I wasn't done watching him.  Make sure he don't dare cross the property line less I call the police,  uh huh!"

Stay tuned more to come on the crazy neighbor and what I believe to be one of the greatest inventions ever!

Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten!

Well what'ya know I made it after all!
I wasn't expecting to post for awhile but my dear friend Rachel has given me the top secret, decoder ring enabling, rummikube triominos solving, Dick Clark of the century password to her computer.
Wanna know what it is?.........................I bet you do!
This week has been the week of weeks for me in the still young year of 2011.  I won't recap right now but lets just say its been a heck of a ride. 
As I sit here typing on a strange little device called a laptop with its itty bitty keys and my bad eyes,
I can't help but think back on what has happened in these short 6 months.  What a load!

I won't bore you with my ruminations but I will tell you this; there has been some strange going ons round here! 
Our "house" the one we have been drooling over for 4 months and doing every thing in our power to get closed had a turn of fate on Tuesday but let's back up.  I know I said I wouldn't bore you but I lied but I will give you the Cliff Notes version.  Here goes pay attention I don't type well

Landlord said sign lease or get out, we thought about making him evict us hoping the house would finally close.  We said screw it and moved out, putting every thing in storage and moving in with Rachel (above mentioned computer girl).  After busting butt all Memorial day weekend we finished up moving and went to work on Tuesday only to be rewarded with an email stating the bank will not pay for septic repairs on our beloved soon to be house.  Hmmmmmmmm..beer.Hmmmmm.beer etc, etc,etc
So in the meantime we had already kind of looked at some other houses and found a nice one so we met realtor lady last night and saw the house and absolutely fell in love with it.  Even better than the other one.  We made an offer last night.  They accepted this morning.  So my realtor sent the contract to the other realtor and we found out she was out of town. (yep just my luck) but lo and behold being the smart realtor lady that she is there is a back up realtor to take her stead.  The back up realtor( totally serious because you can't make this shit up) is my extremely recent landlord who just got finished with his impromptu eviction!  Hmmmmmmm..beer..Hmmmmmm..beer!
So My realtor faxes over the "stuff" before she realizes who it is and presto changeo, numb nuts is back in my life again.  However he presented the offer and  the seller accepted it... which makes me happy I didn't trash the rental house when I left.  But still C'mon WTF!

Ok without further ado my beer of the week is once again Rolling Rock and I have already finished a six pack and have cracked open a fresh Miller Lite.  It was really hot here and I switched over to a lighter beer for "heat drinking" if you will.  7 beers into a blog post might just burn out the spell check on dear Rachel's computer.  We'll see.

Now for the top ten!!

#1  Moved out of house completely......managed to leave the cats behind for dear old landlord!
#2  Bank would not pay for septic repair...deal is capoot!
#3  Found a new house....made an offer
#4  Seller accepted......I am more excited than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!
#5  Please stop the homeless jokes people they really aren't that funny anymore!
#6  Remmi and Gunner have a new friend named Sadie....they are boys she is a girl.  Yep its a dorgi!
#7  I discovered I can keep enough groceries at work to make breakfast and lunch all week long!
#8  Baby Joe Joe graduates tomorrow at The Breslin Center.....grey hair makes sense now.
#9  Dear friend Rachel had a Birthday this week.....she is somewhere between the ages of 12 and 128!
#10 For anyone who's listening, reading, thinking, watching or just passing by..give us a thought on
       our new venture.  We could use a break about right now....I'm pretty tired!

Thanks for stopping by I will keep in touch and Bruce if your out there...Miss ya buddy!