Sunday Salutations and A Rubber Frog!

Sunday Salutations to you my dear readers and you too Jim!

Today is the beginning of the last week of Summer.  At least that's how I count it.

September to me is Autumn.  October is Fall and November is Falltumn.  December is snow and yeah it goes downhill form there. 

I have a three day work week ahead of me.  Thursday is opening day of the early goose season here in unemployed land beautiful Michigan.  I plan on watching the sunrise in some farmer's field tucked away in my layout blind surrounded by a couple dozen goose decoys.  Something like this but without the garage.

Yes that is a layout blind.  It has flaps that you open and you lay down in it on your back and pull the flaps over you.  When and if the geese try to land in your decoy spread you pop out of the blind and shoot.

You really ought to see the look in their eyes when you pop out of that blind.  It's kinda like the Culkin kid from Home Alone when he slaps his hands to his cheeks but now picture him saying OH SHIZZ!

So yesterday I was able to finish the duck boat project.  Then I pulled all the stuff you see in the first picture out of the shed and organized it.  I don't have much money so I have to use the resources I have at hand.  For instance on the duck boat I ask an old lady out in the country if I can cut down some of her cattails to use as camo on the boat rather than buying the stuff they make.  One year I had only enough money to buy a dozen duck decoys but not enough to buy weights for them so they just don't float away.  My fix was to tie old wrenches and sockets to a string attached to the decoy.  Heck there was even an old shut off valve for a washing machine tied to one of them.  Being a little more crafty this year I collected some used wheel weights off the tires at work, being made of lead they are compact and easy to work with.  I untied all of the wrenches, etc. and replaced them with wheel weights.  My wife would call it redneck or hillbilly but I call it innovative.

  I also conned her into helping clean up the side yard of all the wood and debris that I cut down.

I will be planting new grass in this area soon it was all trees and brush before also a dumping ground for previous homeowners.  Stuff like an oil filter, a handsaw, golf club, broken beer bottles, a rubber frog.  Yes a rubber frog.  It takes batteries I think and the legs will move possibly making it swim or jump.  All I know is I saved it and will be tying a string to it and placing it in the cupboard door to scare the hell out of my wife when she opens the door for a cup.  Should keep me in the doghouse for awhile which is OK because that means I can do whatever I please because she doesn't want to be around me.  Some things are planned this way you know.

By the way isn't that a fine looking yellow dog? 

I found a way around the whole picture to computer thing.  I take a pic with my phone and then send it to my wife's phone and then I grab her phone and send it to my email and then I save it to the computer and then you get to see it.  It's true I do care about you.  Maybe one day I'll get the phone fixed or a computer that will actually pull right from the phone via cord but for now it's this way or no way.

Have a great week and enjoy the last week of summer.

A Quick Saturday Update

Another fine Saturday morning sitting at the computer.  I had to stop by and clean up a little.  The old blog needed a shave.  A little updating as well and were back on track. 

I changed my picture (as if you couldn't tell) in anticipation of early goose season.

I also updated my post of the week which I haven't done in ages.  I usually update that every Thursday by delving into my prior 256 posts and picking one of my favorites and pinning it up on the board.  This particular post was about the scarecrow I built. 

I also updated my blog list in case you didn't see your blog on there.  If it's not there and you'd like to see it shoot me a comment or follow me.  We'll make something happen.

I've been thinking a lot about the deer season this year and how I would like to change the location.  I was thinking something a bit closer and maybe a few more deer.  The only problem is I need to find time to get up North and scout some potential sites.  There are a lot of people that go north for the deer season and you don't want to set up just down the trail from another camp.  You need to find a good area and then search it extensively for signs of previous encampments.  This could be small clearings off the two track, trash (unfortunately), hunting blinds, buck poles and usually the dead giveaway is a rock lined fire pit.

I have roughly 2 months to get it done.  Wish me luck.

Scanning thru my stats I discovered that the most page views on one post was How to build a duck boat   with 1256 page views.

Hopefully at least one person was able to use some of my ideas.  My all time page views rang in at around 12,000.  It's kinda neat when you realize that many people are checking out your junk.  No not that junk!

Of course I realize that many google searchers never read what pops up but some do and that's cool enough for me.

Today's agenda consists of finishing the new design on the duck boat (constant state of design and changes) and cleaning up the side yard where I cut the tree down.  I attacked it again yesterday after work and cleared out a bunch more limbs.  I opened it up quite a bit and will be able to extend my side yard by 15 foot or so.

Yesterday after work I also mowed the lawn and the tractor was running so good I double cut it and now it is nice and smooth and has great stripes.  Yes you can stripe your own lawn with a regular mower.  Just go back and forth instead of a circle.  The sun reflects off the grass and the stripes show because the grass is leaning two different directions when you mow back and forth.  Pretty simple stuff.  When we were staying with Rachel (while waiting on house to close) I mowed her yard for her and I'll never forget when she came home and was so surprised that her yard could "do stripes"!

Well enough about yard work and stripes.  I have things to do and beer to drink!

In honor of deer camp here is a pic from last years'

Thirsty Thursday and my Top Ten

Once upon a time in a land just around the corner lived a pudgy, middle aged man.  He was quite content to spend his days in solitude, whistling away the day as he tinkered with this and that on his much beloved home.  Spending hours in a lawn chair daydreaming of big, beautiful, bountiful gardens in the Spring and Fall and hanging Christmas lights from the eaves and admiring them from the front yard while snowflakes float gently around him.  He dreams of the grandest planting beds and gorgeous landscapes that will soon surround his home.  Flowers of every shape and color adorn every nook, cranny and crevice of his little one acre dream.  In fact he is so busy dreaming and planning he doesn't even pay much attention to his blog.  In fact sometimes it seems as though that darned old thing just gets in the way.  His time would be better spent raking or digging a koi pond or actually putting forth an effort to trap the chipmunk living under his front porch.  In fact he has started to grow fond of Chippy.  The proof has already been lodged into his brain just by giving it a name.  He smiles first when he sees Chippy and scowls second when thinking of the possible damage the little creature is doing under the porch.  He likes Chippy and knows that it is not Chippy's fault that he needs to be relocated.  Some things just are.... what they are. 

He does know that writing is a passion and a love held deep inside and that to quit is all but impossible.  He also believes that sometimes the tank doesn't always stay full and a little work is necessary to bring it all to fruition.  He smiles.  The day is beautiful.  The sun is out and the warmth of the rays warm his cheek.  He laughs at his dogs who are rolling and playing in the grass.  Life is good and he appreciates it.  He does not take it for granted and knows that sacrifices are sometimes needed. 

He unwraps a fine Honduran cigar and holds it to his nose.  The smell is calming and he closes his eyes and pictures the men and women rolling cigars and stacks of sweet smelling tobacco leaves piled high just behind their rolling tables.  He can almost smell the vanilla and the leather and the spice that all good tobacco leaves have.  He cuts off the end ever so delicately.  Taking his time and finding the perfect place to remove the cap.  The match flames and once the sulfur has burned from the end he holds the cigar over the flame, not too close but just enough to light the wrapper.  He draws deeply and puffs a cloud of smoke into the air.

Wait a minute....WTF am I doing on the computer it's time to go outside and do all of the above. 

Welcome to Thirsty Thursday and my Top Ten.

Today I am drinking beer.  Yeah I know go figure.  It is a leftover beer night.  Need to clean house a bit.  I have a couple Labatt Blue Light, a few Miller Lite and a couple of Point 12s to cap it off if so needed.  Probably not because I have a little OT to get through tomorrow at work.  They wanna give it, I'm gonna take it!

Top Ten good or bad you decide......

#1  They re-stoned our road today...(first they tar it then they cover it in pea stone...at least it slows 'em down)

#2  The mosquitoes have abated about 10%...(now there are tens of millions instead of hundreds of)

#3  Overtime tomorrow...(takes away from my Friday but hey who can't use the dough)

#4  Watched the movie Going the Distance the other day...(hilarious but now my new word is.. Dick Milk)

#5  We had a pig roast at work today and it was bring a dish to pass..(I made a Chipolte BBQ sauce and   

       it was killer)

#6  The giant propane tank is getting low...(winter is right around the corner and it costs almost a grand to fill

       it up)

#7  The temps are in the 70s right now...( Fall is almost here.  I love it)

#8  Yes Julie I'm not above cutting my toenails at work...(you should have just walked away, never stop

       when my socks are off)

#9   I wasn't really cutting my toenails I had a splinter...(after the splinter came out then I cut my nails)

#10 My wife is very dear to me and I almost never show it so honey you get number 10 I love you!...(10 is  

        best on my Thirsty Thursday scale)

 Remember...take it easy out there.  Life can be pretty cool if you let it.

Later.

Pictures of my wood???????????????

Just an update on the tree cutting from the other day.
I stacked all the wood on Sunday and ended up just shy of 2 face cord.  Quite a bit from one tree.

Here are some of the pics I took

The tree is the one that Tony is hooking the climber to.  As you can see it narrowly misses the propane tank and the corner of the garage.  It landed just about where my car is sitting.

Here is the pile of split wood.

Here is the wood all stacked.  There is two rows. 4ft tall and eight foot long.  Just the corner is missing on each row to make two full face cords.

And my last pic is of my two best friends who probably feel neglected on this blog because I haven't included them much.  I'm a mean papa!

Thanks for stopping by an looking at my wood.  (snicker)

Sunday Salutations and if a Tree Falls in the Woods?

Good morning and Sunday Salutations to you!

This morning I woke up very stiff.  (snicker)  My back you perv!  Seems as though cutting down one tree and splitting it into firewood makes your back hurt.  Go figure.

Oh well it was a good honest days worth of work and I could use a sweat out every now and then.  Clean the poisons from my body. 

I had a big tree on the side of the house.  A red elm with a diameter of about18 inches or so and all of 70 ft tall.  This tree was tucked conveniently behind my 500 gallon propane tank.  This tree was dead and I believe had every intention of falling and taking out my propane tank as well as my garage. 

I can run a chain saw without too much difficulty.  In fact I own a very nice Stihl Farm Boss with a 20 inch cutting bar.  Not your average homeowners chain saw but a step or two above that. 

I don't mind cutting down smaller trees or trees that will not require me to initiate my homeowners insurance policy.  I do have trouble with trees like this one and decided to call in some help.  My friend Tony is pretty good at cutting trees down.  He has a small side job selling firewood so he cuts a lot of wood.  Tony was nice enough to bring over his equipment and help me rid my yard of this towering menace.

We had to first climb the tree and hook a cable about 20 ft up the trunk.  That cable we tied to the truck (100 ft away) I climbed in the truck and Tony cut the tree down.  As soon as I heard the trunk crack and saw the tree start to move I started backing the truck up.  We were able to drop right into the driveway and we missed the propane tank by 8 ft and the house by 15 ft.  Quite an adrenaline rush it was messing with something like that.  After we got it on the ground we both started cutting it into 16" firewood lengths and after about 35 minutes it was all chunked up.  Then we rolled the splitter over and began splitting all the wood chunks into nice fire place sized pieces.  When it was all said and done I ended up with about one or one and a half face cords of firewood.  Not sure I have to stack it all today.

I do have a couple pictures so I'll get those to you as soon as they pop up.(Wednesday)

Have a great new week and I'll see ya in a few days!

Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten (with bonus Booger Wiper feature)

I wasn't expecting the doorbell to ring.  It rang anyways.  I was in the middle of a beer and a bag of chili cheese Fritos and had been wiping the red crumbs on my light, tan shorts.  I stood up, frantically trying to wipe the chili streaks from my shorts as well as lick them from my fingers, and half walked, half stumbled to the front door.  Seems as though my leg had fallen asleep during my munchie session and Montel Williams was not exciting enough to keep it awake.  As I limped to the door I wondered who the hell could it be.

I opened the door without peeking through the curtains trying to keep it a surprise.  I had no bill collectors and no one should be trying to repossess my car. (again)  I had no worries.  I suppose I should have been a bit more cautious or prepared.  Either way I was dumbfounded to see two gentlemen standing at the door wearing suit jackets and dark sunglasses.  I'll admit my first thought was of Will Smith and  from that crazy Alien show (the title escapes me just now) but that was fantasy and I quickly snapped out of it when they asked me if I was Mr. Bushman......  A Mr. Jeffrey Bushman? 

Quickly my mind raced through the weeks prior and almost overheated trying to think of anything I had done wrong that would bring these men to my door.  The worst I could find was skipping out on a cup of coffee at work and I told myself I would pay the 25 cents when I returned to work the next day. 

I answered with a yes that mimicked a 14 year old boy going through the first round of puberty. 

My heart was thumping and thumping hard, I could feel the blood coursing through my arteries.  I knew I would soon have a headache.

The taller of the two men spoke up first,"Mr Bushman we would like you to come with us to the station for questioning?"  I stood there mute.  Was this Scare Tactics?  I had been watching this on TV and I looked at the first man and jeered,"Nice try I watch that show your not busting my balls on some fake shit so people can laugh at me."  Once the word ME cleared my mouth his fist smashed directly into it.  I could hear the lip pop and could see the blood droplets spraying through the air and coating the man's fist for a split second before my eyes welled up.

I knew this was not Scare Tactics when I felt the handcuffs encircle my wrists and felt my shoulder roar with pain as they half dragged and half carried me to the shiny, black sedan parked in my gravel coated driveway.

They threw me in the open trunk and slammed the lid and in doing so smashed my head making a dull hollow thumping sound.  The two men took no notice.

Even in the dark of the trunk I saw the stars briefly before losing conscious.

When I awoke I was in a small room.  handcuffed to a plastic chair which in turn was bolted to the floor.  A table, also bolted to the floor, stood in front of me.  A chair, not bolted, sat opposite.  I had seen enough cop shows to know I was in an interrogation room.  My mind, clouded from the trunk lid blow, still tried to discern what it was that should bring me to such circumstances.

The door opened and my two "friends" entered.  This time without the sunglasses.  The one that did not strike me sat down in the opposite chair and then slid it backwards as if to tease me that I could not move and emphasize that he was the one in control.  He asked me in a very calm yet cold voice," Tell me what you know about the boogers"    My nerves screamed at me and I began to shake.  "I don't know what your talking about", I said.  "Bullshit", he screamed, "you've been running around work telling people you almost have it figured out who is wiping boogers on the bathroom walls.  You have deciphered that un/sub is left handed because the boogers are on the right wall of the stall and only a left handed person would wipe onto the right hand wall.  You also know who is left handed and who usually uses the north west stall.  Now tell us or this is going to get ugly!"

Hey did I tell you it's Thirsty Thursday and my Top Ten?

Don't worry about what you just read.  I didn't tell them anything.  This is my case and I'm gonna crack it.

Sick somebitches anyways.

So my beer for today, on Mr. Porkchop's recommendation, is Labatt Blue Light.  I love Labatt Blue but have never had the light version.  I'm glad I tried it.  It's good and still has the Labatt flavor we all love.  Thanks Porkchop!  In fact it took three of them just to write what I have above.  Partially because I drink fast but also because I type bad and correct everything as I'm typing because I don't trust spell check.  Why just the other day they hammered me for a word I use all the time "fu)%er".  It's a word right?

So I'm sure you wanna get to the top ten after my wasting your time on a booger story. (it's true there is a person at work wiping boogers) so without further adieu I give you my Top Ten:

#1  Mosquitoes are so cool........(at someone elses house)

#2  I have a few pictures that finally came through....(I will not describe just list at the end of this post)

#3  37 years old feels strangely like 36......(the whole time I thought I was the wrong age anyways)

#4  Early goose season is two weeks from today....(I just picked up another good hunt spot today)

#5  The drain in my utility room decided to plug up....(nice pool of water on the floor from running AC)

#6  Was able to unplug said drain......(after handfuls of....well not sure.. but it was stanky)

#7  Couldn't see throwing away the stuff clogging the drain....(made a nice red wine reduction sauce with it)

#8  Have to make our first mortgage payment next week.....(and that's where the fun ends)

#9  Picked up a nice little gift pack of Punch Cigars after work today.....( almost ready to fire at will)

#10 I feel pretty damn happy right now.............( Your Turn!)

Here are my lost pics.  Bathroom and duck boat.

Thanks my friends!

A Monday Post? (and a bunch of fu)kin mosquitos)

Why not? 

Just because I normally don't doesn't mean I can't.  (re read that and count the lazy words)

I'm a big fan of apostrophes.  Huh, not sure I've ever spelled that before but there it is wait let me try it again.

APOS'TRO'PHE'.  There that's more fitting.  (another one)

So what do I post about today.

I did get some pics to go through the whole thing I been bitchin about.  Yeah, they're not the ones I wanted.

Fu)k me running!  I hate that stupid phone. 

I'd like to give a shout out to A Beer for the Shower who just received Blog of Note.  The greatest award given in this google land. (only)  Also Simple Dude who just turned one today on his blog and has like 5 million followers and 34 billion comments.  That is what happens when you get Blog of Note and you have a good blog.

Nothing much is happening here.  Bad case of cabin fever setting in.  I can't go outside because the mosquitoes are so bad.  I've never seen anything like it.  Within seconds of stepping out the door you are swarmed by hundreds of the little bastards.  I'm slapping myself in my sleep and scratching at shit that doesn't even itch.  It rained half the weekend again.  You can almost hear the little mosquito eggs popping open.  The bitch of it is we are stuck with them till first frost.  October?  2nd week?

Then at work I notice a posting for a blood drive.  Are you shitting me?  Another stab in the arm!  More blood loss?  Maybe the mosquitoes should give you a cookie when they draw blood.  I'd be soooo fat right now.  I think I'll pass on the Red Cross this month.  I probably have West Nile anyways.  North Nile and just a touch of the dreaded South Nile as well.  Malaria will be setting in soon and Dengue fever is right behind it.  (I don't know how you get Dengue fever but who cares)

I suppose I better go do something worthwhile.  Maybe I'll figure out a recipe on some way to cook mosquitoes.  Mosquito soup, mosquito hot dogs, mosquito pie, mosquito ribs, (go ahead and picture Bubba and Forest and I'll leave you there)

Ciao'

Sunday Salutations and Messed up Computers!

Good Morning and Sunday Salutations and all that jazz.  I had to take a few moments (hours) this morning to try and catch up on some of my favorite blogs and drop a few comments here and there.  I started yesterday but then it began to storm and the satellite Internet doesn't function properly when its storming.

So I was reading a post by Mynx about spiders and it reminded me of this joke:

Little girl looks up at her dad and asks,"What kind of spider is that?"  He replies, "That is a Daddy Long Legs."  She nods her head and points to a different spider and asks,"What kind of spider is that one?'

He replies yet again," That is another Daddy Long legs".  The one spider then crawls over to the other spider and begins to mount and the little girl's brow furrows a bit and she asks her father, "What are they doing?"

He responds,"They are mating honey to try and start a family".  She promptly smashes both spiders under her sneaker and calmly states," We don't need any of that gay shit around here!"

Yeah I know a bit lame but seriously why is there no Mommy Long Legs?

So I left this post in draft as I tried to desperately coax the pictures off my phone and into my email file.  I waited for 10 hours.  Nothing yet.  So I will just tell you what I did yesterday instead of showing.

I drank beer.  I re-engineered my duck boat.  I drank more beer.  In fact I drank enough beer that I awoke this morning wondering just who in the hell took a dump in my mouth in the middle of the night!  That, my friends, is just plain rude.  Whoever you were don't you think the headache was enough to remind me of my guilty pleasures of the day before.  Please leave my mouth alone from now on!

No really I enjoyed my time alone in the garage, sans mosquitoes, with my dogs and my boat and some cold beer.  I have more to finish on the boat but I ran out of materials.  I will have pictures.  Eventually.  As I said before here are some of my bath remodel.  I don't have all of them but here are some of the before pics.

This is the vanity I had to remove to cut a hole in the wall to access the shower plumbing.  Note the black stain under the vanity top.  Sure couldn't put that back in.

Here is the new valve all plumbed in

Here is a picture of the whole shebang that I can not get rotated the correct way.

And now because I'm pissed at this whole computer thing right now I shall walk away.  Walk away Jeff just walk away.

Poof!

Oh wait I raided a picture of my wife's facebook and saved it.  The fat guy in the mirror is NOT me it's just a guy......I hired.   Whatev...

 

Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten

The smoke poured from the eaves like an avalanche from a mountain, rolling and twisting and enveloping everything in its path.  I wasn't sure what to do, stand there or go inside to find some way to speed this up or just gauge the progress.  I did nothing.  It could get worse but that would only make it better I thought to myself.  I stood there for some time just watching it.  I was sure that would definitely teach them not to mess with me anymore.  A smug look on my face I popped another cold beer and grinned as I slopped down the cold suds.  Nothing better than a cold beer after a weeks worth of work.

Tired of watching the smoke roll from under the gutters and growing impatient waiting on the results I decided to open the door.  Carefully I felt the door for heat and chuckled inside at my idiotic trip into the past when the movie Backdraft was all the rage and firefighting was the coolest thing to do after high school.

I opened the door and the smoke rolled inward and stung my eyes and plugged my nose and I laughed out loud.  If it didn't kill 'em outright then they would have died a slow suffocating death.  Just what they deserved.

I stepped inside the garage and walked over to the two citronella cisterns that lay burning merrily on the cold, stained, concrete floor.  Picking them up one by one I blew them out.  "Damn Mosquitoes", I said.  That should clear the garage out for awhile. 

So while the garage aired out I headed up here to blog for a spell.

I've been asked enough times if I'm back to blogging yet.  I guess some people actually like this garbage so only for you my dear readers (psychotic as you may be) I am back.  For now I can not guarantee anything because well I'm just too lazy for a commitment right now.  Besides I have always been a picture blogger and I still haven't got the whole thing straightened out yet.  I email a pic to the computer from my phone and it takes 3 days to get there.  Sprint is more like Sprunt if you ask me.  Our camera is still broke and out printer/docking station now resides at goodwill or some other sucker's house.  So no pics.  Sorry. (lazy)

Back to the task at hand my beer for today is the horribly boring, generic Miller Lite.  It's smooth and easy and besides I was out drinking (yes on a school night) last night because it was my burfday!  So today I'll just take it easy with some domestic. 

My top ten this week good or bad you decide:

#1  The weather has finally broke and we are averaging 80 for a high. (90 is not fat guy weather)

#2  After about 12 inches of rain in a two week period the grass is green again (now I have to cut it)

#3  After said 12 inches of rain our local mosquito population has increased  (about 3000 mosquitoes sq

       inch)

#4  I have lost 13 lbs since moving into the new house (6 of those is blood loss from #3)

#5  Our Scottish house guest has departed ( cleats are boots and talk is banter and she was pretty cool)

#6  Have a local entrepreneur interested in some of my ideas in the food world ( he owns a sauce company)

#7  Welcome to my new follower Powdered Toast Man from just the Cheese  (funny..go read)

#8  I have three cords of firewood on order (I have two cord ready to cut in the back yard already)

#9  I get to go to Secretary of State tomorrow to renew my drivers license (and wait in line with all the freak)

#10 I think maybe the mosquitoes in the garage have "altered" their state of mind and now I can go have a

       cigar and properly enjoy this Thirsty Thursday

Thanks for reading and asking about me.  It kind of makes me feel good.  NOT!!!

(no really it does)

See ya !