If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

On Trial and Something New!

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury please be seated, counselor if you will"

"Yes your honor"
"Ladies and gentlemen what you are about to hear may be shocking in detail and the horrific events that are about to be recanted may never leave your memory", the attorney began as he glanced at me with malice in his eyes.  "The events that lead up to the tragic ending are no less than many of the deeds we have witnessed in our history.  Those of the dreaded Hitler as well as John Wayne Gacy and perhaps as mind blowing as Jeffrey Dahlmer."
The jury was becoming entranced with the overweight man as he shifted his weight side to side, moving with the words he spoke.  The conviction in his stance and in his voice only added to the surrealism of what I was facing.
"The defendant", he paused and I could feel the eyes of everyone in the courtroom bearing down on me.  A thousand little fires burning through my skin, looking deep for the truth.
"Will tell you that he is innocent and only acted in self defense but I am here to convince you otherwise''.
A bit of spittle had collected on his lower lip and he began to remind me of the evil St. Bernard from the movie Cujo.  Only it was me he was after.  Trapped in the defendants box an encased in handcuffs there was no way out and I could only sit and stare as the bubbles moved from his lip to his chin. 
"He knowingly took those pills in an effort to murder Mr. Rhinovirus and all the tissues in the trash can at the defendants house?  Are those not enough evidence to convince you of the malformed intentions of this horrible monster?"

I was startled awake as he slammed his hand down on the jury box and realized I was asleep in my own bed and Mr. Rhinovirus was very much awake as the snot rolled from my nose and soaked into the pillow case.
Head pounding, chest burning I sat up and glanced at the alarm clock.  It's glaring red 5:04 caused my eyes to water and itch.  Wrenching myself from the warm, comfort of my bed I headed for the back door to attend to the needs of my dogs. 
It was cold in the house and after I made a pot of coffee I built a fire to help warm the little bi-level.

It is now 8am and I have medicated myself as the attorney said but in no way have I murdered Mr. Rhinovirus........yet.  I'm not even sure that is the right virus but I like the name and it sounds evil.
Bastard has kicked my ass for three days.

Oh well I was due.  I haven't been sick for a long time, physically that is.  Mentally?  Always.

Oh hey guess what I got?


Yep!  A 2011 Dodge Ram 1500 quad cab 4x4.  I have never owned a dodge pick up and I really like the looks of this one so I traded in the Malibu for it.  Yes the boo is gone.  They didn't want it but I made them take it.  I'm pretty happy about it.  I also made them throw in a hitch for it which will be installed next Saturday.  Look out deer camp a new ride is coming in!
I have also been on the firewood rampage still.  I have quite a bit piled up now.

My next project is to install a fan in the ceiling of the downstairs living room where the fireplace is.
It will be basically a bathroom vent type fan.  Installed in the ceiling downstairs then I will box in the floor joist and cut a hole in the floor upstairs and install a grate over it.  It will be controlled by a switch on the wall and theoretically it will suck the hot air from the ceiling down stairs(heat rises) and blow it into the upstairs living room.  Right now I have a fan on the floor which blows the heat up the stairs but I believe this will be a better way.
For now I am just gonna lay low and see if I really can kill Mr. Rhinovirus or maybe he'll just leave on his own.
Snotty rags and drippy noses,
-Bushman

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Sunday Salutations and Role Playing with Momma!

Good Morning and Sunday Salutations to all.
Except you Texas Rangers you go eat cow shit and wash it down with crude oil!

The Pope, Gandhi and the 8 armed Indian God walk into a bar..............................................
whoa I've had too much.....check please!

Beautiful weekend here in the mitten state.  Warm during the day, around 80, cool at night mid 40s.
Leaves are turning as well as falling and I am now locked in a constant state of battle trying to keep the lawn clear.  I have a back pack leaf blower and besides emitting billowing clouds of black, foul smelling exhaust it does a great job of clearing the leaves from my precious grass.  It's the shady side of the yard that needs protecting.  The grass is fragile from the lack of sun and requires more care than the rest.  I stand poised and ready.  A gallon jug of 2-cycle gasoline and a bottle of ibuprofen at the ready, my vigil is unwavering.

Wood cutting has beat me up this weekend.  I feel like George Burns on his 100th birthday when he  drank so many Budweisers that we talked him into riding the mechanical bull down at Rodeo Pete's.
(more ibuprofen please)
With a little canine assistance I was able to cut and split the entire tree as well as clean up all the mess.(twigs, leaves, sawdust, refer to paragraph 1 and pass the ibuprofen again)


I stacked it under the deck with my other wood.  The stack is about 6 ft tall and stretches about 12 ft long.  Although it is not stacked 6 ft the whole way.  There is around three face cord of wood.  Today's going rate about $180.

Remember the barrel I told you about?  I turned it into a composter just like I said I would.
I bolted 2x4s through the end of the barrel with some5/8' threaded rod and then connected the two ends of the barrel with longer 2x4s and some screws.  The threaded rod was left long to serve as "axles" for the spinning of the barrel.  A door is cut in the side and the hinges are nothing more than zip ties and the latch is a conduit strap. 


I painted it black to help absorb the suns energy and aid in rapid decomposition.  I have already added some veggie scraps from my pot roast on Friday.  In order to maintain healthy compost there is a certain ratio of material that needs to be considered.  Basically it is two categories.  Green and Brown.  Green is your kitchen scraps, peels and leftover veggie scraps and that sort of thing.  Brown is stuff like paper, coffee filters, leaves. Click the link for more specifics.  Composting is a great way to recycle and even better for your veggies and flowers.  It also helps to offset my pollution ridden mechanical devices that live in my shed.
Composting the right things
I simply add the materials to the composter and give it a spin every other day and I should have great compost every couple of weeks.

Saturday morning was spent in the duck boat in hopes of a waterfowling bonanza of ducks and geese.  Both seasons open at the same time so it can be pretty entertaining.  And it was!
We had a lot of ducks coming in before it was legal shooting light so we had to sit there and watch them swimming around our decoys.  Eventually they flew off, nothing more than a blur in the early morning light.
We ended up taking two Wood ducks and three geese.


I won't be doing any deer hunting this weekend.....too hot!
So I did the next best thing.  I drank beer.

Momma wanted to go to the dollar store to look for Halloween decorations.  I obliged (almost out of beer) and when we got there, after looking at all the costume accessories, I had this incredible idea. 
I said,"Hey babe lets get this and we can go home and role play."

Here is what I picked out.
A nice piece of chest armor

A pair of six shooters complete with spurs

And some gloves, cuz it might get dirty!

What?  It is too a legit costume!
It's a crazy wood cutting, duck killing, beer drinking crazy guy!  I knew it was me from the moment I laid eyes on it.  I wanted to wear it into Walmart but she said I would probably be inundated with job offers and other less valuable solicitations.  I'm not sure how she determines monetary discretion but to me it sounds fun.
Her costume?
I still haven't figured it out yet.  Two dish towels, a martini glass, a floor mat that says" Boo!" and some glow in the dark centipedes.
Oh well it was still fun.  That is until I spurred her and she smashed the martini glass over my head.
What fun is role playing without a little blood?

I suppose that is enough for one post.  I shall see you in the near future....yeeeeehawwwww!

-Bushman




Friday, October 7, 2011

Workin' like a....worker?

It's finally Friday.  A long 4 day week has passed and here I sit with hot coffee and tons of things to write about.  Well tons may be a bit of an exaggeration more like a pound.  Oz.  Fine I don't have anything at all.  I worked all week.  Who the hell wants to hear about that?
After work I came home and worked on cutting up the big tree.
I need wood for next year so might as well get a head start.

That is a 20 inch bar on my saw so that gives you an idea on how big the tree was.  Not huge but big enough.

I still have more to cut and then I need to split it.  Then there is 2 more trees just like this one to come down.

Hopefully I will be in the stand tonight waiting on the elusive whitetail deer and then Saturday morning the regular duck and goose season begins.  I will be sitting in the duck boat in the morning and the deer stand at night.  A little wood cutting in between.  Sneaking in some beer time somewhere in there.  Probably just before bed. 
Lets face it beer has a place and time and it's not in the car, the duck boat, the tree stand or while running the chainsaw....well the chainsaw has a limit of three beers.  It is Oktoberfest after all.

I plugged my freezer in last weekend in anticipation of filling it with venison.  I didn't shoot any deer so I stopped and bought 2 big bags of freeze pops.  I love those little frozen concoctions of pure sugar water and indulge on half a dozen at a time.  Problem is they don't sell them in the winter so I am devoting the whole top shelf of my freezer to these little bandits.  With some restraint and some clever rationing I might get through to Spring.  Doubt it!

My "garden" is doing great..so to speak.  I sprayed it with vegetation killer a few weeks ago and all of the sod is now brown and waiting to be tilled.  I also received a large plastic white barrel that I will be turning in to a compost tumbler.  In the back of the property is a large pile of concrete chunks (apparently the woods was a disposal) from a sidewalk or patio I'm guessing.  The guy before me must have ripped them from somewhere on the property and deposited them there.  I don't like looking at them but what do you do with a huge pile of concrete chunks?   Recycle them!  Because my garden will be on a slope I will be adding retaining walls to help level it up.  I am going to use these chunks on the back side (less visible) and make a wall out of them.  In front of the wall I will put in a little planting bed of flowers to help hide the concrete.

There is a great web site out there for choosing plants and shrubs from that I found and I have been using it frequently to plan my landscaping (coming this Spring)
Plant Navigator
You can enter in your requirements and it will list all of the available plants.
As a former landscaper I have a really good idea on what I need but it is still fun to play with.  I copy and paste into a word document every plant I like and now I have a printable list along with each plants care, bloom time, light requirements, water needs.etc.

I hope you have a great weekend!
Go Tigers!
Go Lions!

Bushman

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Sunday Salutations and Fall is Here!

The changing of the seasons is what really keeps me here in the great Midwest.  I use the term, great, loosely.  No matter how bad the economy is, how high the unemployment rate or how many cars they manage to birth from the bowels of the mitten state the seasons will still change and they will still be beautiful.
My personal favorite is Fall.  Some call it Autumn but not me.  Good 'ol Fall will do just fine.
October 1st slates the first day of the archery deer season here.  Opening day was spent perched in a tree stand relaxing and wondering how I could be so lucky to have this great experience. 
My morning hunt was filled with squirrels, chipmunks, a couple cats and some very acrobatic chickadees.
It seems as though the deer were not inclined to pay me a visit.  Can't say as I blame them.  After a couple hours on stand I came home and mowed the lawn and made a trip to the big box store to purchase fireplace implements.  You gotta have a poker.  Without it you may as well not have a fireplace at all.  Of course it comes as a set with the little shovel, tongs and the sweeper.  An ash bucket topped off the ensemble and momma had to throw an area rug in the cart as well.  I am enjoying the fireplace tools and the dogs really love the area rug.  After our excursion to people land we came back home and I headed out for the evening hunt.  It was beautiful out.  Sunny skies, upper 50s and the wind died down nicely.
Right about 7 'oclock a nice little 8 pt buck stepped from the woods and into the food plot to munch on some rye grass.  he had a perfect rack and a solid body.  He probably weighed in at 160 pounds or so.  Judging by his rack, body size and overall appearance I could tell he was only a year and a half old and was not a "shooter" buck.  One more year and he better look out.  He will be quite the deer next year with his perfectly symmetrical rack.  He stayed in the food plot for about 15-20 minutes before he meandered off into the woods again.  Nothing else ventured out in front of me but it didn't matter.  My evening was already successful.
This morning I awoke to a good frost on the lawn.  Temps hit 31 degrees last night.  I took the dogs out just before sunrise and marvelled at the beauty of the coming day.  Then I went back in and started the fire back up.  It had died to coals during the night but the house stayed around 68 degrees which is perfect. 
I'm curious to see how well the fireplace works when the temps stay at 32 degrees.  I'm gonna need more wood.  I took this morning off of hunting but will return this eve.  Wish me luck!
I also changed my post of the week, check it out!

The first fire

The view from my tree stand

And of course Remmi and Gunner's new tractor cart.


And me dressed as a tree!