If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten

Hello and welcome to Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten.

Thursday brings with a celebratory, ritualistic festival known as Thirsty Thursday.  It is a college tradition adopted by the mainstream society.  Well at least us beer heads.  In my case I work 4 days a week (showing up counts as working) then I work for three more days that some call a weekend.  So tonight is my Friday sort of.  What better way to kick off the weekend than with a couple of beers.  So tonight I have become the most interesting man in the world.  I have acquired seis cervacez de Dos Equis.  I will stay thirsty my friends.  A wedge of lime shoved into the bottle finishes it nicely.
Did I ever tell you the story about 'ol summer tooth, blew eyes?
No?
Well it's really not much of a story but here goes anyways.
We used to have a lawn cutting business.  At this particular time (1992ish) my Father owned it and he would hire just about anybody.  Remember Dave and his Davey Dukes?  Well this time he went and hired a guy that had blew eyes.  One blew this way and one blew that way.  Not only did he have blew eyes but he had summer teeth.  Summer there but most are not.  A classic to say the least.  I mean this guy had all the attributes to be one of the best. (weed whippers in the county)
So one day we are loading up the equipment and here comes 'ol summer tooth,blew eyes to help.  He walks past a tree or bush, I don't really recall because that was like 20 years ago but anyways out runs this rabbit.
He stops dead in his tracks and his eyes got real big (perhaps even straightened for the slightest moment) and he yells at the top of his lungs, "Wook at da wabbit".
I never even saw the wabbit.  I didn't even  look.  I was entranced by the pure awe that radiated from this guy.  The sun glinted from the drool on his lip briefly before dropping to land on his shoe where the dry cracked leather gobbled up the moisture leaving a dark spot.  His blew eye (the other was looking completely  the other way) sparkled like a child opening gifts on Christmas.  His hair was standing wildly on end and dashing to and fro with the wind, no doubt mimicking the wabbits graceful bounds.  His smile, only punctuated by three teeth, beamed from one end of the yard to the other and revealed an inner side that only a mother could love.  Yes I'm pretty sure only a mother.
The point of this story?
I saw a wabbit today.  He ran across the road in front of my truck.  Guess what I said aloud to no one but the dashboard?  Yep you guessed it.  "Wook at da Wabbit"
I don't know why that always sticks in my head but it does.
So back to the task at hand.
Top Ten, good or bad you decide.

#1 I have officially recognized this winter as nothing more than a very long cold spring.  (40 degrees c'mon)
#2 I just purchased air lift bags for my truck.  (They go in the rear coil springs to accommodate more weight)
#3 I have sold two loads of wood so far.  (just gotta go cut 'em now)
#4 If I save every hour of vacation at work by Dec. 31st I will have 123 hours of vacation (Prolly not gonna happen)
#5  I have a free cat for a good home (or a bad one I don't care he is a maniac)
#6  My cat acts just like me.  (I am free to a great home)
#7  My new wood cutting chaps paid for themselves within an hour of wearing them. (no beer involved)
#8  Tomorrow I cut wood with a vengeance (have a quad and two trailers to haul it from the woods)
#9  I can't keep the darn tire chains on my tractor when I snow blow the drive (momma is gonna have to shovel I guess)
#10  Spring is right around the corner (No not that corner the other one...... keep going, left a bit,  now go straight, yep right there!)

Have a great weekend, see ya Sunday.
-Bushman

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sunday Salutations and Bushman's Law

Good Morning and Sunday Salutations to all.
With the addition of Google Chrome to my hard drive I now have use of the full and unbiased facilities of Blogger once again (or for the time being).
There is no way I can go back and read and comment on all the posts I missed so I apologize for my absence as well as my negligence. (laziness as well)
I sort of like doing things one way and when I have to change my habits it presents a serious detriment to my fundamentalist view of simplicity.  I like to adhere to the strict guidelines set forth in Bushman's Law (page 43 Section 2 Clause 2.3)   "If it takes more than the amount of steps to accomplish your goal than you are comfortable with, then walk away."
It is very simple and straightforward.  Of course if you read on then you will discover in section three, same page.  "After a period of time, to be determined by the user, has expired then curiosity shall indeed kill the cat and you are welcome to regress into that which has perplexed you".

Cat killed and here I am!
Man was it ever cold this weekend!  Friday morning when I awoke it was 3 degrees.  Luckily for me by the time I made it out to the woods to begin my ritualistic sacrifice of wood fiber for the fire gods it had warmed up to 7 degrees.  I almost didn't go out.  I mean 3 degrees?  I'm no super hero by any means.
I warmed up soon enough however.  By the time it reached 8 degrees the sweat was freezing to my forehead and I had frozen mustache just like you see on the TV with the guys up in Alaska.  Yeah I felt pretty cool.  At one point I scraped a branch across the tip of my nose, removing some skin in the process, and of course it was too cold to feel the blood and it froze all over my nose.  When I looked in the mirror on the truck my whole nose was covered in frozen blood.
I managed to cut three loads but only had time to split and stack two of those.  It began snowing around 3:30 and my beer wouldn't stay thawed once it was opened.  By 5pm I was done and in the house as the snow drifted lazily from the darkening sky.  I was bushed.  Most people get tired but if your a Bushman you get bushed.  (page 32)  My lungs burned from breathing in all the cold air and my body was starting to give out at all the places you need functional for this sport such as hip, knee and shoulder.
I took Saturday off and went to Kaitlin's soccer game, Lowe's (for some protective chaps to keep my legs intact while cutting) and home by 4pm to snow blow the driveway and reload the wood stacks by the fireplace.  The beer was still freezing up.
Once settled in for the night I fried up a batch of fresh chicken wings and home cut french fries and we chowed down.  I buy my wings whole and then cut them into wings and drummies with a pair of poultry sheers.  A must have if you like wing dings.  I made a honey, BBQ sauce with a shot of balsamic vinegar in it and also a traditional buffalo style sauce.
I will be headed back into the woods today with the bride in tow.  I think she forgot how much she hated it last time so I'll be more than happy to refresh her memory!
Here are some pics of my prototype wood tongs.  Once I iron out the bugs I will make another set and that way I can carry out two logs at a time instead of one.


Here is how I transport the logs when we have snow

This is one of the tops from the logged out trees.  The trunk is about 16 inches in diameter.  Plenty of firewood left for the taking.

And when it is all said and done it ends up here

What do you mean why do I have a wheelbarrow in my house?  Bushman's law page 12, section 3, clause 1.2.
"If by any means using a transport vehicle will make ones' job easier then by all accounts it is desirable to do so.  This shall pertain to inside the domicile or out."

Hey the law is the law.


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten

OK I don't know what the hell is going on here but I can't read any of your posts.  (those that post, obvious, duh)
It pops up and freezes.  WTF.  I have been on a blogger hiatus for awhile.  It's been fun and I have missed many posts but when I want to come read them I can't.  Last time I fixed the blog problem by not clicking the box that kept me signed in.  This time I will probably have to hang my skivvies form the monitor and rotate them once a day along with typing in caps lock on the even numbered minutes during the day.

I see why people switch now........noooooo not that kinda switching.  ewwwwww!
Whatev! as my wife would text me.  I'm not hip like that so I try and use correct grammar while texting.  It generally leads to busted mail boxes, squished puppies and a $500 deductible every other month but c'mon grammar is important.   Hooked on phonics worked for me When I'm not driving it doesn't seem that important but when I'm in the truck ripping down the snow covered road at 60 mph it is soooooo important I have to dig it out of my pocket.
Whatev.  Sheesh.

Cutting Wood.  WTF did you think I was doing?  If I'm not cutting it, I'm thinking about it.  I've purchased the rights to some trees that were logged off and all the tops and the "no good" wood is laying there for the taking.  I've built my prototype log tong.  I will be trying it out tomorrow.  Stay tuned.
So to make a sharp stick slicker I give you my Thirsty Thursday and Top Ten.
Tonights beer is Bells Best Brown Ale from the illustrious town of Comstock, Michigan.  I have no idea where that is and don't really care as long as they keep delivering it to the local store.  I do know that Henry Comstock (of the Comstock Load) sold his silver mine for $11,000 back in the old days and the mine then delivered a few billion dollars or million I don't pay attention real well but still HOLY SHIZZ.
The beer  has a  very nice malty flavor with the traditional ale flavor coming in second.  It's strong, I've had three now and find myself squinting at the keyboard.  I suppose $10 a six pack should come with some squinting.
Top Ten, as usual you decide good or bad.

#1 I scored on the wood this week.  (endless weekends of splitting and stacking and beer)
#2 It finally got cold and snowed  (then it got warm and rained and then it got cold and snowed)
#3 Wood tongs prototype finished  (will post pics in action,  if it works)
#4 My truck is a wood hauling, mud busting SOB  (it cost ten dollars at the car wash just to get the mud off)
#5 Wood pile is growing  ( ummmmm wood is good)
#6  This beer is making my face really warm  (should cut down on the heating bill)
#7  Why didn't I make this the top five?  (I suppose I need to get out more)
#8  Four out of the above seven posts are about wood.  (Does that make me gay?)
#9  NO
#10  I'm still happy.  I have a good life and am very thankful.  (that should prep me for when it goes to shit)

There I managed to get through it again.  I hope you all have a great Thirsty Thursday cuz mines pretty good so far.
PS.  It is 10 degrees outside.  Just in case you thought you were cold.

Avadermecipio
-Bushman

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Cold, Snow and a Big Red Oak

Damn it!
Click.  Click.  Click, click, click.  Cock sucker face!  A little snow and the shit frazzled internet dish thing won't work.  It's Friday morning and I'm supposed to be suckin' down hot coffee and cruising the net. 
I guess I'll wait till tomorrow, maybe then the darn thing will work ........................................................................................................................................................

Click.  Click.  Oh you have got to be kidding me.  No internet for two days?  WTF?  Check connectivity, check protocol, check LAN, check every gol dang thing that I can click on and nothing.  Unplug stuff. 
.........................................................................
That didn't work.  It is 7 am on a Saturday.  It's still dark.  It's 19 degrees.  It's snowing.
Hey I got an idea.  I don my sweat pants and a heavy t-shirt (it's 19 degrees after all), footie socks and my knee high rubber boots.  Head to the garage and grab the ladder.  (yes I am crazy)  Haul ladder to upper deck.  open ladder (6 foot rickety wooden ladder)  Begin ascent.  Reach gutter.  Grab hold (death grip)
belly crawl up on to roof.  Roof is covered with 6 inches of snow and a glaze of ice underneath.  Stand up and begin drunken like shuffle to opposite end of roof.  Slip.  (now seriously wondering if this was a bad idea)  Sluff off previous thought.  (too far to turn back now)  Reach satellite dish. (don't look over edge, oops too late) brush 1 inch of snow off dish and wipe transponder (or whatever you call the eye part).
Scrape ice with fingernail ( I forgot my Ron Popeil satellite dish scraper)  Shake head in defeat (this is surely not the cause of my internet failure).  Drunken shuffle back to point of summit.(now I'm screwed) Lay down on belly, grab gutter (snow in my belly button) and blindly feel for top step of ladder with foot.  (The same one that states "do not use as step").  Descent complete, heart rate headed back to normal.
Rush inside (leaving trail of snow and wet clothes).
Click, click.  Hell yeah bitches!

So what have you been up to?
I've been lost in a winter wonderland for two days.  I love it.  We finally got some snow.  Cold too. 
So what did I do with the beautiful weather?  Cut wood of course.
I gave the saw a tune up and a new chain and have been dying to get back in the woods.
Friday while the "storm" was blowing I stacked wood from last weekend's haul.  I lined up 4 pallets behind the garage and while the snow was falling I stacked it.  Two "T" post pounded into the ground with a pallet backer makes it easy to stack and no falling over.
This was most of the wood from last weekend.  There was some that was dry enough to burn now and in fact, I just put some on the fire.
Today it was snowing again pretty heavy so I stayed put for awhile (not hard enough to keep me off the roof though) around noon I headed out for some wood cutting.  I just love it and with the snow everything is so pretty out in the woods.  I found this big red oak and made short work of one of its limbs.  That was enough to fill the truck.  There is probably 3 more loads left in just one tree.

There is still a big limb and the whole trunk left.  Plus some stuff you can't see.
This is what I need.  Oak!  Good and hot when the temps dip.  I have a ton of ash but I burn so much of it to get the heat I need to keep the house warm.  The difference in wood is amazing.  I could burn 1/3 of what I use in ash if it were oak.  So by 3 pm I was home and splitting.  Now that it is cold and snowy I can drive across the back yard so I was able to split the wood right at the pile.

I evened out the rows and threw some plywood on top to keep the snow off for now.

I plan on heading back tomorrow for another load.  I need to get it now because it takes a year to dry out enough to make good firewood.  This wood will be burned 12 moths from now. 

Good news is I lost a few pounds so far.  Normally this time of year it would be opposite.  I'm pretty happy about that.  In fact I'm pretty happy in general.
I love cutting wood.  It saves money on the propane tank, it gives me something to do, it tries to keep me in shape (other than round) and mostly it gives me purpose.  Purpose is worth its weight in gold. 
I can't wait until I can do it again.  A fad?  Maybe....but I'll take advantage of it regardless.
You can probably tell just by my blog that I have found something that interests me other than writing.
If it bores you I understand.  However if you doubt the power of hard work, the outdoors and a bit of fresh air then I beg you to try it.  Exhilarating at its worst.
Take care and breathe deep, the magic is in the air!
-Bushman


Saturday, January 7, 2012

Kicked Some ASH Yesterday

Hi nice to see you again.  I know it's been awhile.  Sooooo what'cha been up toooooo?
Me? Oh the usual......working and cutting wood.
Wednesday night I had a garage full of wood that needed to be stacked.

 I finished stacking about 7:30 that night and was too tired to do anything but eat and go night night. (8:30pm)

Thursday night I stopped and bought a chimney brush and climbed up on the roof to clean the chimney.  The hardware store wanted $25 for the brush and $12.99 for each section of rod.  I needed 4 sections.  Ouch!
So I skipped the rods and tied a rope to one end of the brush and two 5 lb dumbbell weights to the other and did it that way.  Much better work out on the arms too.
Well needless to say it made a mess of the downstairs and I spent some time cleaning that up but now the chimney is cleaned and I have peace of mind.

Good thing I cleared the garage of wood too because this is what happened on Friday

And that turned into this.  I started at 9am and finished at 7pm

I bet your wondering why I keep piling it on the garage floor and then stacking from there?

Seems like every time I get to cut wood we have a warm spell and the ground thaws. I don't want to drive across my lawn with a truck full of wood to get to the wood pile so I just pile it in the garage until it freezes again. One of these times I will be able to split and stack all at the same time

                                                  Yeah I think I'm addicted to firewood.
It's 6:59 am right now and I'm leaving in a half hour to go get another load.
Huge thanks to Mike and Al for letting me cut wood on their properties.
Thanks to Tony as well for the use of his trailer and today his splitter.
Thanks to Rachel and Lant for the use of their splitter as well.
Good friends are hard to come by and great ones loan you their stuff!
There's lots more and I'm anxious to get it cut.


Thanks to you for stopping by to see what the hell I've been up too.
I'll post more when the work is done or slows but you know what they say you gotta make wood when the sun......errrrr what do they say?
Closing in on my 300th post.  6 more to go.
-Bushman