Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten

Damn you people are hard on a guy!  Want, want, want!

Hey where ya been?
I've been looking for your blog.
I see you haven't blogged in awhile everything ok?
You must be working a lot of OT cause you haven't been blogging?
What's new with you? Normally I keep track of you on your blog
Is your computer broken?
How come you haven't been blogging?

These are some of the responses I get when I haven't blogged in awhile.
Here it is in plain English for all you twits out there.
When I don't get comments on my blog I shut down because to me that means no one is reading it.  I'm not gonna write if no one will read it.  Where is the sense in that bullshit?  Oh it makes me feel good?  WTF
My last post was my 300th post.  An anniversary of sorts that I even hinted about in prior posts.  Only one comment and that was from dear Bruce.
Is 300 a monumental milestone?  Not really when you figure I've been blogging for about 3 years now but c'mon.
I know maybe if I wrote something worth reading then you would read it  but hey here is big ice cream cone full of shut up and go fuck yourself!

So enough bullshit lets get down to the nitty gritty, itty bitty leprechaun titty.
It's Thursday!  Drink or get out of the way!
Tonight's festivities are being honored by the Spring sampler pack of the Leinenkugels brewery.  This ensemble includes the noteworthy Honeyweiss, the noble Red Lager, the smooth Classic Amber and way down on the brewery's hit list is the heavenly 1888 Bock.  The beer I have raved about for some time now.  The roasted and toasted Barley malts, the thick creamy head and the beautiful brown colors.
I'm only after the 1888 but I must partake of the quartet in order to do so.  Damn marketing at it's finest right there.  Please do me a favor and send them an email.  Tell them you want to see more 1888 Bock not fireside nut brown. (which sells so bad that they have it marked down at the store for half price)  Tell 'em Bushman sent ya!
What good is Thursday without a top ten?  Depends on the beer I guess.
Here it is regardless.
Bushman's top ten of the week good or bad you decide!
#1 We got a bonus at work!  (for once they changed the ED to a US)
#2 I have already spent my bonus (stocking up on 1888, for every 12 pack I get 3)
#3 Not really I spent it on paint for the house (after 8 months we finally agreed on a paint scheme)
#4 Painted the living room and dining room so far            (almost).
#5  The only good thing about painting is...........(well, nothing actually, it eats donkey wiener)
#6 Giant snowstorm tonight      (anywhere from 3 to 16 inches, sound like something a hooker would say)
#7 American Idol is back on TV   (I still say the teenage girls decide the outcome)
#8 I've been teaching my cat to venture outside (I will win the chipmunk war)
#9 I have not cut any wood in 5 days  (It's a 12 step program)
#10 My wife has been working out faithfully at the gym for awhile now  (the results are starting to show (insert whistle here)

There you have it, quit your bitchin' I will see you when I see you and if you really want to know how I'm doing?  Pick up the damn phone freaks!

Beer run!
-Bushman

Airbags, chainsaws and what else....beer!

Another log on the fire, cold classic amber beer.  Snowing outside, big fat flakes drift past the window catching the corner of my eye.  A small candle flickers next to the keyboard.  The vanilla scent is a nice combination with the rich amber of the beer.  The smell of 2 cycle exhaust, from my clothes, perfumes my nose as it dances romantically with the vanilla.  Sawdust escapes the hairs of my mustache to linger on the rim of the bottle before being engulfed by my semi chapped lips.  How sweet it is to be a woodcutter again.  Yeeeehawwww!
Damn it I was trying to escape my red neck ways and they just sneak right back up on you.  hell it started it out good.  Sorry I missed you on Thursday I was busy installing air bags in the suspension of my wood hauler truck.
I picked these up online at suspensionconnection.com for under a Benjamin.  They go inside the rear coil springs. Most trucks have rear leaf springs but this one has coil.  The ride is way better but the load capacity isn't worth a damn.  A load of wood and it rides on the axle stops.  I fixed it!  Yeeeeeehawwwwww.
 I gotta stop doin that!

Here is the kit:  (beer not included)

here it is installed:

each bag is connected to an airline that runs to a "tee' connector and then a central line that runs to the bumper.  I installed my inflation valve in the bumper next to the license plate.  When I want to haul something heavy I simply air it up with any normal air chuck.  When I'm finished just push in the valve an deflate the bags.

Today I loaded it with a full load and you can hardly tell.
Of course I couldn't have done that without first rebuilding the engine in my chainsaw that decided to die on me last weekend.  I replaced the cylinder, piston, oil seals, fuel lines, air filter and spark plug not to mention I had just bought a new bar and chain along with a drive sprocket.  Can you say brand new saw?
The only thing original is the plastic, carbuerator and the crankcase pan.

OK I'm done tooting my horn.
We got a little fresh snow last night so I used the sled to haul the wood out.  Darn good work out on the legs but it was only 18 degrees so I have been coughing from the cold air in the lungs.  Glad I don't smoke anymore.  It was 5 degrees when I woke up this morning and I didn't venture outside until it was at least 10 and I had a big stack of pancakes in my belly.  On my way home I did the grocery shopping.  Of course I had a truck full of wood, gas cans and oil so I piled the dogfood, water and soda high atop the stack of wood and the rest went into the back seat.  What a site!
My once favorite beer is back on the shelf again.  Leinenkugels 1888 Bock.  It only comes in a sampler pack now which bums me out.  I emailed the corporate office for Leinenkugels and asked them what was up.  My wife says I'm crazy but a guy has got to speak up when his favorite beer gets the boot.  They told me (yes I got a response) that patrons had requested that other beers be on the shelf for a longer duration of time so they had to boot the 1888 Bock to a variety pack.
Well guess what ?  I have now drank all three of the 1888s and now I have to kill the other 9 before I can have a refill.  3 Classic Ambers, 3 Red lagers and 3 Honey Weiss.  Ain't marketing a bitch.
Hey thanks for stopping by I know I haven't been around much but I'm not going anywhere.
I'm kinda getting that spring fever itch already.
See ya later masturbator!
-Bushman

l,m,n,o,PEEEEEEEEEEEE

Have you ever peed in your own backyard?  I mean really peed.  Not just a tinkle on a dare but a full fledged pee?  My wife tells me I'm gross.  Peeing on the septic field is gross.  Good thing I didn't tell her I pee in the garden too. I pee everywhere.  Something about being outside make me pee.  Today I peed while cutting wood.  Just so happens the wood lot borders the freeway.  So 27 cars saw my junk and my silly stream, so what.  One time at a Kid Rock concert I peed over the edge of the third (maybe 4th I was drunk) floor of a parking ramp.  I vaguely remember someone yelling that I had just dropped the golden shower on an Escalade.  Who knows.  The point is my generation was the gang that believed in if it feels good do it.  Now others may have taken to drugs or sex but I chose urination.  The big selling point of this house for me was the upper deck.  Man oh man I can not get grass to grow under this deck to save my life.  I did put a few of those urinal mints under the deck though.  I even have my dogs addicted to peeing.  When one pees the other runs over and pees on him while he is still peeing.
Am I drunk?  You wonder as you read this and I will confess I have had a beer or two.  As a matter of fact I have had 112 oz of beer.  Not that i'm keeping track but I have peed about 300 oz.  I never was any good at math.
The point of all this.................... absolutely nothing and it could be all made up just for fun....or could it.
There is a point where you just have to say Fu(# it!  I don't care anymore and what happens will happen.
So I just peed my pants.   No not really.  I have no idea where this post is going but I'm sure it is freaking someone out.  Well shoot I'm out of things to say.  That pisses me off (can you see a theme here or should i keep going?)
I think I just figured it out.  I'm PISSED off because i just had my taxes done and the quirky broad charged us $165.  Now I don't know if it was the going rate for ugly elvish taxometry or whether this was standard but last year I did my own taxes and it cost $68.  I thought buying a house would change things, make it more complicated but it didn't.  Elf whore had our shit done in 30 flat and that was even doing the damn deduction worksheet that we didn't need because our standard deduction was higher than our itemized.  Phooey!
That is why I'm pissed.  Now do you get it?  If the tax place wasn't right next to the local Cop subway hang out I would have peed on her.  She may have liked it.
Enough for now I have to pee.
-Bushman

Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten

Hello again and welcome to Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten.
It's been a hell of a week, running rampant at work trying my best to do things right and cover for people out sick and after awhile it takes a toll.  I'm a pretty easy going guy but sometimes I can bite.  So if I offended anybody this week I apoplog.........no screw that I yam what I yam!

Beer anybody?  I have been a bit overindulgent this week but it has been fun.  Sunday, while grocery shopping, I came across a six pack of beer named Moose Drool.  Crafted in Missoula, Montana by Big Sky brewery (I have been to Missoula and it is very cool) I chuckled at the name and Momma said try it.  So I put it in the cart and we took it home where I placed two bottles in the snow.  A few hours later I headed out to the garage and popped a top on one of them.  After a nice long pull off a snow covered bottle I began to smile.  This is a fantastic beer.  Toasty, caramel with a rich after finish with just the right amount of hoppy goodness.  I was astonished and made that six pack last until Tuesday.  I know, I know what restraint I show.  So Wednesday came around and it just happened to be the worst day of my crap hole week so I thought I would have a beer (Moose Drool was on  my mind) and headed to the same store, different town, to pick up another savory six pack.  Nope, didn't have it.  Sullen scumbags!  So after browsing for a few minutes I came across new Holland Brewery's Cabin Fever which is another Brown Ale just like the Moose.  I have had New Holland's Oatmeal Stout and that was number one GI, so I guessed this one would be as good.  I picked that up and headed home.  It was good, not Moose Drool good, but good.  Strong too.  6% and 5.5 beers later I was headed for bed cuz I was......tired.LOL.
Tonight I figured I had had enough craft beer for the week so I picked up a 9 pack of Miller Lite pints emblazoned with the Red Wings logo.
That leads me to now.  Top Ten time.  As always good or bad you decide!

#1 Moose Drool beer is my new religion  (like you didn't see that one coming)
#2 Have a date with the tax lady tomorrow  (if we don't get much back she had better be HOT)
#3 Down sized my chainsaw from 20" to 18" ($92.17 seems like it would be cheaper to go smaller)
#4 Punxatawney Phil saw his shadow today  (My varmint rifle won't shoot all the way to PA)
#5 Ordered air bags for the springs of my truck (should be able to haul more wood now)
#6 My backyard is a mud pit  (if that little bastard saw his shadow then why the hell is it so warm)
#7 I got my garden catalog in the mail yesterday (my spare bedroom might just turn into a grow room, no not like that you potheads)
#8 My Dad's Birthday is in two days (if you see him tell him HB)
#9 I'm going to get out my bow and arrows on Valentines Day and shoot someone in the ass (that should effectively end that holiday for me)
#10 I am so ready to hit the woods and inhale some two cycle exhaust (No there is no "program" for that)

Have a great night and if you see a moose..........
-Bushman