CRACKed PIPE and Pissy Rivers!

Sweat poured from my eyes as I lifted the post hole diggers high over my head.  Ka-Thunk!  They slammed into the earth and a shower of sweat droplets burst from my brow, landing on the hot steel of the diggers, leaving a dark stain on the scratched and worn out metal.
The thermometer on the garage read 98 degrees.  It was full western exposure, the sun was intense and within seconds the droplets vanished.
I grunted as I rose the diggers again, the muscles in my arms were screaming and my hands were all but numb from the constant slam of the steel into the dry clay soil.  Ka-Thunk, Ka-Thunk, Ka-Thunk.......
 Ka-Thudd!

What the hell is that I wondered.  I bent over and peered into the hole.  Something black stared back at me. I wasn't sure what it was.  I raised the diggers higher than I had all day and with all my might slammed them into the hard packed soil.  Ka---rack!
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Where the hell is the phone book?  Jezzus H Christ why isn't it where it's supposed to be.
Panic gripped me and the hairs on my neck were at full attention.  This was bad.  Very bad.
After several moments of racing around the house it hit me.  Dumb-ass use the internet.  Your not even sure you have a phone book.  I raced to the computer, typed the local directory into the Google browser and slammed my finger into the enter button which in turn caused that damn unreachable splinter to burrow its way even deeper into my finger.  I yowled with pain.  Damn, when it rains it pours.  A few minutes into my search and I found what I was looking for.  A-1 Septic Services.  I quickly dialed the number.

"Hello A-1 septic, how may I help you?"
" Hi my name is Bushman and I just broke the shit out of my septic pipe.  Well that's not entirely true the shit is still in the pipe, mostly, but some is leaking into the yard and I do have a little dab on my cheek and neck but anyways can I get someone to come and fix it?"
"I'm sorry sir but this is considered a holiday weekend and all services are temporarily suspended until the 5th of July".
"Oh c'mon lady you gotta be shitting me?"
"No I'm not sir I apologize for any inconvenience"
"Please mam, by the time the 5th of July gets here I'll have the equivalent of Mt. Everest in my back yard but it will be made entirely of ......
"Please sir do not swear anymore it is starting to piss me off!"
"Piss?  Did you just say piss?  Lady I'm on holiday and I drink lots of beer on holiday.  Have you ever seen the Nile river in someones back yard but instead of water it is piss?"
"Have you tried fixing it yourself sir?"
"Yeah I thought about it but there is too much shit in the way, oh poop,  I'm sorry I forgot you don't like swearing.  I have a crappy memory!"
Click
"Did you just hang up on me?"
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So today marks the first day of my 10 day holiday.  My agenda is to rebuild the deck for starters.
I started this morning tearing off all the decking.  I wanted to alleviate some of the weight before I replaced the posts that hold up the second story deck.
I went to the lumberyard and picked up 3 new 4x6x12 treated posts and three 80# bags of concrete.

Once home I went to work with a fervor.
The previous owners had pored a concrete footing and placed the posts on top of them.  The problem was the footings were only 18 inches deep and the posts were not anchored to the footing.  So the deck was pretty wobbly.  I removed the first post and busted out the concrete pad that it was sitting on.  Then I started digging the hole for the new post.  I had to go at least 36 inches deep to get below the frost line.  The first post was somewhere in the vicinity of the septic outlet pipe.
Everything went fine but what you read above was what I was thinking the entire time.
I managed to get two posts replaced today and will tackle the third one tomorrow.  Once they sit for a bit I will install new deck boards above.  Hopefully it will get rid of the wobbly deck.  Not to mention they painted it some sort of brownish red and it is ugly and wicked hot.
So luckily I avoided a catastrophe.......for now anyways!

Stay tuned for more crazy stuff.
-Bushman

Sunday Salutations and A Photo Op!

Hey there!  Boy did I ever drop the ball this week.  No Thirsty Thursday, Friday or even a Saturday post.
Slacker!  So I'll catch up today and give you a quick run down loaded with pictures.  Cuz that's what I do!

Thursday night Momma and the children left for their cruise so I had to run them around and that is why Thirsty Thursday was dropped this week.  I'll catch you this week.

I finished my scarecrow this weekend.  I am going to modify his perch in the garden by putting him on a pipe that will allow him to spin in the breeze.  For now he looks pretty good.  Every so often as I come out of the garage he startles me.  More like a scare-bushman.

The garden is doing well.  We haven't had much rain so I've had to be vigilant with the watering.

I'm not sure if I ever posted a pic of the entire wood wall once we finished it so here ya go!

My bird feeding line and my hammock where I watch them when I'm not dozing off !

I was at the dollar store looking for pinwheels for my scarecrow on Friday and I found these little garden bugs and this really cool pinwheel that has two wheels that spin in opposite directions.
I hung the little bugs from my patio umbrella with fishing line and they dance around in the wind all sparkly colorful.

I also picked up a couple Gerbera Daisies for the little planter on the patio table that my wife bought for me at the thrift store for a dollar.  The hummingbirds keep flying in on them which puts them about 3 feet from me when they do!

Another shot of the garden

I finished placing the rest of my leftover rocks on the new walkway around the garage.  This will be a nice brick paver walkway that connects to the patio out back one day.  (insert winning lotto ticket here)

 Other than just tinkering around all weekend and drinking huge volumes of beer it's been pretty quiet.  My next step in the landscape is to replace the posts under the deck so I can install the retaining wall under there.  I will slowly be adding in all the planting beds but not sure I will get too many plants in them this year.
I don't relish the thought of putting things on credit otherwise I would just pull a home loan and get it all done in one shot!  Have a great Sunday!
-Bushman

Bushman calls it quits for the week

I scampered home quick as  could trying to avoid the local speed traps.
I went to work with a fervor.  In no time at all the garage was clean.
I ran upstairs, opened the door to the bedroom and ushered the dogs up an onto the bed where they slathered momma with wet doggy kisses and lots of nuzzling.  "Get up", I said.  "We can go to breakfast now".
She looked at me as though I was crazy (and I am), she  looked at the clock and groaned. It was 7:59 Sunday morning.  "wha.."  I cut her off quick as a wink.  " I'm starving", I said.  'You don't know what I've been through this morning now get your butt outta bed and get in the shower.  She didn't say a word.  I imagine she was a bit scared but she gets used to it after awhile.
She showered and I vacuumed the truck out.  Better safe than sorry.  I may have missed a sign.

The food was fantastic and I even had enough for breakfast leftovers on Monday.  We then hit the grocery store.  Groceries and a few flowers to put in my hanging baskets and we were off and headed home.

I was busier today than yesterday.
I started out the day weeding the garden.

Double checked the gutters I installed on the garage yesterday.

I finished the retaining wall for the walk on the side of the garage.

Then I mowed the lawn...sorry no pics of that.  Then I planted my flowers in my hanging pots...no pics of that either...I'll catch you when they get bigger.  I did re purpose old rabbit cage for a potting station.  It's just the bottom of the cage and I put my potting soil and pots into it to keep all the mess contained.  Works pretty good.  I did three more hanging baskets and one clay pot.  That gives me 5 baskets, 2 rail and one clay planter.

I re-filled all the bird feeders and suet baskets and then headed out to my beautiful stepdaughters sweet sixteen birthday party.  It is a few days early but she leaves for a cruise on Thursday and will be gone for her birthday.  I can't believe she is 16 already.  I already miss her.  I feel sorry for all her boyfriends because she has two Dads that they have to contend with.
Now its 9:30 and I'm going to bed.  Have a good week and I will see you Thursday more than likely.
-Bushman

Dirty Garages Are Not OK

I reached for the door handle, pulling hard to combat the force of the wind.  Rain pelted the back of my neck, stinging, biting.  The door slammed shut behind me and it seemed as though everyone in the diner stopped and turned to stare.  I wondered if each of them had received the same attention on their entrance.  The storm had been surging for hours now.  Many homes were without power thanks to the numerous downed trees and it appeared that the diner was now a place of refuge as much as it was a place for breakfast.

I waited at the sign that boldly announced PLEASE WAIT TO BE SEATED.  I stood, and stood.  5 minutes, then ten.  The place was only 2/3 full and I noticed quite a few tables sitting empty yet I only received passing glances from the wait staff and an occasional look of disgust from a few of the patrons.  It was if I was some type of homeless transient, I wasn't.  I was freshly showered and dressed and even a spritz of aftershave.  I was confused to say the least but the confusion was quickly turning to frustration.  I didn't have a lot of time and I was hungry.

Another 5 minutes passed and I raised my hand to hail the attention of the waitstaff.
"Could I please get a table?", I asked.  Eyebrows raised high, surely they were enough to express my discontentment.

"Read the sign buddy", a disheveled busboy complete with the grease stained dish apron and a three day beard growth said to me.  He hiked his thumb over his shoulder towards the wall.  I gave him a quizzical look but nonetheless I turned my head to read the sign that I had so absentmindedly forget to read upon my entrance.  The entire time wondering what it could possibly read to keep me from getting a table.

On the wall, directly at eye level, emblazoned in gold letters was the sign.  I don't know how I could have missed it.  The gaudiness of the gold letters on the avocado green background all but thrust the letters into your face.  It read,  "To be seated you must have a clean garage".

"Rules are rules", the busboy said to me as he picked up a piece of uneaten bacon off the recently vacated table and thrust it into his mouth somehow managing to get the tips of three of his fingers into his mouth along with the bacon.  A slathering smack of approval was the only other sound he made.

I looked around the diner.  Everyone was still staring at me.  I shook my head, pulled up the collar of my coat and pushed my shoulder against the door which was still being driven shut by the wind.  As I made my way back to the truck I couldn't grasp what had just transpired.  Seriously!  How the hell did they know my garage was a mess?

I headed home, driving a little to fast for the weather conditions but I was hungry and I had a garage to clean.

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Have a great Saturday!  You know what I'll be doing!
-Bushman