If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

The Madness in the Fire

Chapter 6
The Solitude of Death
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"Beneath the skin crawled such hours, waiting to be released.  Itching and burning, the mindless minutes spent scratching, releasing.
And when the hours were released from the fat, plump skin, it fell back on itself in sheets of wrinkles and the flesh began to weaken.  So much so as the wind passed over the fine wisps of hair, the goslings they did not raise.
Clouded eyes once bright with sunshine dulled with the ticking of the clock.  The Great Grandfather booming out the hours while the pendulum of time swung relenting of none.
The steps grew shorter, the fingers more slender and the  breaths of younger days grew raspy with antique.
The time of plenty had passed and the future was now short and bitter with the coldness of departure."

- J.W. Bushman, The Book of Sadness
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It was in these days the old man took comfort in death.  To live and suffer was a far worse punishment than death.  Atonement in all its forms was never kind but he relished the thought of a long and peaceful sleep. His days were numbered.  He knew it.  The boy that delivered his groceries every week knew it and he tipped him more and more as each week went by.  He watched how the boy looked at him on delivery day.  The curious look, darting glances around the room, his uncomfortable stance.  Almost apologetic in his attitude but lacking sincerity.
The deliverer would arrive one day to a lifeless body, wrapped in the same worn shawl and tucked into his rocker or perhaps never risen from the lumpy mattress he was so well acquainted with these days.

His life was unimportant now.  His few friends had all passed, his family, disowned or neglected had given up years ago.  His only acquaintance now was this boy.  Once a week, every Wednesday he would arrive precisely at 4 pm.  The same bag of groceries, the same nod, the same look.  It was hardly anything at all but the man looked forward to it anyways.  Humans after all craved interaction with others and he was no different except he took his in small doses.
Never one to be part of the crowd he kept to the sidelines preferring to live alone, out of touch and almost out of reality.  His younger days while in college were not too different.  Studying, working as a dishwasher at the diner to help pay for expenses his scholarship didn't cover.  He did not indulge in frequent college parties or go to the frat houses like the other boys.  After his shift ended at the diner he would open his books and sip strong coffee until closing time.  It was his world and albeit a lonely one he liked it that way.

The diner was where he had met her.  Studying late one night she had come in with some friends and as they passed by his table she accidentally caught one of his many books with her hip and sent the pile cascading to the floor along with a cup of coffee.  Apologizing profusely she helped pick them up and promised to replace the coffee covered chemistry book.  They exchanged numbers and when they met eye to eye their fate was intertwined and destiny set in motion.
Soon thereafter they were studying together on a regular basis and a relationship began to grow..  Even being a shy young  man, a recluse or an introvert as some would say his body still yearned for the the pleasures of a female companion and late one night after their usual study session they had made love in the backseat of her car down by the river where the trees blocked the view from the road.  A few short weeks later she broke it off.  No explanation, no Dear John letter, not even a "it's me, not you" excuse.
Brokenhearted he retreated even further into his own self.  Almost never leaving his dorm unless working and avoiding any contact with others that wasn't necessary. A week before graduation he caught a glimpse of her leaving the administration building and his heart jumped and his throat closed.  She was pregnant.  The swell under her baggy sweatshirt was undeniable.  He tried to talk to her but she just asked him to leave.  She said it wasn't his fault and and he shouldn't have to bear the burden of her stupidity.  Nothing he could do or say would change her mind and she vanished into life as if never there to begin with.  He never saw her again after that.

Graduation came and went.  He accepted a position at a leading pharmaceutical company and climbed to the top of the ladder in a few short years while on a team that developed several well known drugs.  Investing everything he earned and living the solitary lifestyle he soon amassed a small fortune in stocks, bonds and real -estate.  He was never truly happy.
Once a month he would mail a letter to the girl he had met in college.  The letters always came back but somehow it made him feel better to write them anyways.  He spent countless hours trying to track her down and more importantly find the child that she had carried in her womb in the last year of her college education.  After many years he finally found her and with much pleading she had allowed him to write to her son, his son. They exchanged letters for awhile and the young man soon agreed to meet.  He was in college, studying anthropology and had a girlfriend who he adored.  They were going to get married after graduation.  They met often and developed a pleasant father and son bond.

The son moved away and though they still spoke it was reduced to short phone calls on the holidays or a birthday.  The man grew quiet again and soon retired.  Buying a small cottage deep in the hills outside of Calgary he spent his days sipping coffee and staring at the birds outside his window.  He grew old, his hair turned grey than white and then began to fall out.  His bones abandoned him and left him weak and scared to venture too far from the warmth of his cottage.  His only company were the birds flitting around the many feeders in the yard and the weekly delivery boy.
Winter was just weeks away and he scribbled out a check to give to the delivery boy for the local firewood cutter.  He would need several cord to make it through these bitter Canadian winters.  The cold was worth the peace and solitude of living here.  The city was just a 45 minute drive down the hill but here in this tiny cottage he felt like an only soul.  A lonely soul.
A rap at the door brought him from his daydreams.  The boy came in and set the groceries on the table.  He slid two checks across the table at the boy and politely nodded his head.  The boy scooped up the checks and turned for the door.  Just as he was at the threshold the old man with the faded shawl draped over his slumped shoulders called out," Young man."
The boy stopped dead in his track slowly turned and eyed the old man.
"Would you drop this at the post office for me", he asked, waving a letter in the air.
"Sure", the boy stammered, unaccustomed to hearing the old man speak.
He crossed the floor, retrieving the letter and quickly scooted back out the door leaving the old man with his birds.
He watched the boy walk down the drive to the waiting car and as they drove down the long gravel drive he turned back to watch the sun begin its descent towards the distant mountain tops.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

The Madness in the Fire chapter 5 "It will be fine"

Hello fellow readers.  Haven't had an installment in a while so here ya go.
These aren't actual chapters only the beginnings of them.  Sort of a trailer if you will!
Enjoy
-Bushman



The Madness in the Fire
Chapter 5
'It Will Be Fine'

"Hey babe?", a voice from the living room carried down the hall.
"I'm folding laundry what do you want?", a crispness in her voice said leave me alone but this was important.  This was a little frightening.

"You need to come see this"
"I told you I ......", he cut her off in mid sentence.  "Now please"!

She shuffled down the hall carrying an empty basket on her hip.  The new and improved laundry basket with a concave side that fit the contours of her hip just right.  The person that had tweaked the original design just a bit and made the basket much more user friendly was probably in the Caribbean sipping mimosas right now while he sat on an old worn out plaid couch sipping cheap generic coffee.
She was a striking woman.  Tall and slender but with just the right amount of curves to accent her slim frame.  Her cheeks were a pale pink and he knew he had irritated her slightly.  It was a familiar scene which usually ended in him chasing her down the hall while she scolded him and then eventually into the still unmade bed of the morning.
This morning was different. He wasn't staring at her as he usually does but was fixated on the television.
"What is it?", she asked.  "The Giants won the pennant or some other amazing news like the Russian contortionist that I just had to see last time?".
He ignored her snide comment and just pointed at the screen.

The television screen showed a man standing in a boat next to a large wall of ice.  The caption at the bottom of the screen read 'Greenland's ice is in danger'.
He turned up the volume...

"Scientists report that the glacier may have lost upwards of 37 feet of ice in the last two years alone.  Evidence points towards global warming but the traditional trend of ice loss has been much lower.  Greenland's massive sheets of ice are a scientist most effective way of measuring global warming and over the last 40 years or so they have kept an eye on Greenland.  It acts as a catalyst for other glaciers and ice caps.  What happens to Greenland happens everywhere.
Typical ice losses are around 6 inches up to 12 inches every 20 years.
Estimates suggest that the glacier has lost a total of 50 feet of ice over the last 4 years and measurements point towards an ever increasing trend.
Researchers are still trying to fathom the amount of fresh water being released into the oceans from this massive meltdown.

Fingers are being pointed at the cataclysmic meltdowns of nuclear power plants in several countries in the Asian Pacific countries.  The failures of these plants and their corresponding meltdowns have decimated the areas around them and the inability to contain them has led to a massive amount of radioactive leakage into our oceans.
Findings by IFML or Institute for Marine Life suggest that this radiation is being carried on our oceans currents and is traveling around the globe at an alarming rate.
While the contaminants in the water don't appear to have a direct effect on the ice they do suggest that the massive amount of aquatic life being lost such as kelp beds and coral reefs are contributing to the increasing water temperatures akin to a drought in the middle of the United States.  Without this all important structure of plants and animals the sun is allowed to scorch the sea and the ever rising water temperatures are evidence to this fact.
Rising coastal waters have attributed to massive evacuations along many coastal towns and villages throughout the world.  It just isn't safe to live by the sea anymore.
For news 10, I'm Patricia Dunbar."

She stood mute, staring at the tv which he had turned off.  The house was silent.  The ticking of the clock down the hallway was all that could be heard.
"This just keeps getting worse", she said softly.
"I know".
"What about Danny?  What do we tell him?  The world is falling apart just when he is beginning to be a part of it"
He could hear the distress in her voice.  It was the voice they all carried these days.  Pretending to be alright but knowing in the back of your head that it wasn't.
"Honey it will be fine.  The Oceans have a way of healing themselves.  It will just take more time".
"And what if one more nuke plant blows up?  Then what?  Not only are they poisining the oceans but now they are moving inland and killing off all the trees and grass and birds and....."
She began to whimper and he stood up, taking the basket from her and setting it down on the floor.  He wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close.  "It will be fine, I promise", he whispered into her neck.  He closed his eyes and held her tight.  He didn't know what else to tell her.  Only lies would comfort her.  She knew it just as much as he did but sometimes the lies helped them get through the day.
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He opened his eyes and looked at his wife.  Tears coursed down her cheeks leaving clean streaks on her dirty cheeks.  Her hair was tangled and coarse and her body had lost all the curve and resembled nothing more than walking bones.  She opened her eyes and looked back at him.  The spark, the life that once shone brilliant in her eyes was almost gone.  He was running out of time.
"It will be fine", he said, "I promise".

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Mousse Moose and bathroom pics

Spring has sprung, I guess.  You wouldn't really notice it around here too much.  Snow is still covering everything.  My yard is still a foot deep.  Everything is still locked in ice.  It is a treacherous journey just to get to the chicken coop.  The doors have been locked in an ice jam for several days now.
We get a few warm days that melt some snow and it runs downhill toward the coop, puddling around the doors and then at night it re-freezes.
When I am able to get in there, I fill my pockets with eggs.  Luckily I filled the feeder before the doors froze so they have food.  I have been letting them out in the yard in the afternoons so the ducks can play in the puddles next to the garage.  LuLu our female duck has been laying a lot of eggs lately.  Of course Peek and Boo were consistent all winter.  Brave little hens had a rough time but they pulled through.  They gave me an egg a day, 6 days a week almost all winter.  A few glitches when the lights and timers in the coop failed and they did not get their allotted hours of light or when the temps fell below zero but overall, stellar production.

Bathroom Renovation is almost done.

Before:




After:









This last pic is where the closet used to be. See pic three.  

This is where I will build some curved shelves that will hold these cloth boxes.  The hamper (on the bottom) will slide under the bottom shelf so you won't see any laundry in it.  The other shelves will hold the cloth boxes which will contain certain sundries as well as towels, washcloths etc.  I will also be putting two shelves over the toilet for the skinny cloth boxes which will hold TP and other female products.  It is still K's bathroom for now!  She doesn't head to college until August!

I found this shower curtain that is hookless.  It is really nice.  It has a snap in liner on the inside that can be replaced when needed.  No more gangly looking hooks holding up the curtain.  It also has a sheer mesh type top to let more light in.  You can see the difference in materials if you look at the pic again.  This works out well because the vent/light is right next to it so the shower is well lit.  The old vent did not have a light and it was a plastic job that wasn't real aesthetically pleasing.  This light is a vent as well.  You wouldn't know it by looking at it but there is a gap between the glass dome and the ceiling which pulls the moist air up and in.  Of course the previous homeowner had placed this vent into the drop ceiling panels and never did vent it to the outside so I had to run ductwork and drill a 4" hole through the side of my house and install a louvre style vent cover.  The old vent simply vented up and into the drop ceiling.  NOT good at all!  

Two new recessed lights went into the new drywall ceiling.  Positioning of the lights was limited due to the HVAC trunkline running through the ceiling but it works just fine.  I wanted recessed because of the space limitations in the room.  The less stuff sticking into the room the bigger it feels.  It also shines the light down and away from your eyes when standing at the mirror.  Those hollywood style bulbs over mirrors are awful!  Not to mention they collect dust and hairspray like crazy!
Everything is trimmed in the antique bronze finish.  TP holder, towel holder, faucet, curtain rod, back of door towel hooks and even the shower caddy inside the shower.  The curtain rod is one of those bowed out styles that give more room in the shower. 

The tile is ceramic 12x12.  The color is 'Mesa Rust'.  The wall color is Valspar 'Mousse Moose' and the trim is plain white.  Grout color is mocha which is surprisingly well matched to the paint.  Lucky on that aspect!

Overall the project turned out pretty good for a small bathroom.  Now it's onto the rest of the house painting.

If I can get the rest of the painting done this weekend then maybe I'll have just enough time to get my indoor greenhouse built and get some seeds started for the garden this year!  It seems so distant when the snow is still piled everywhere but the calendar doesn't lie.  We are 7 weeks away from our average last frost date. 8 weeks away from normal garden planting time!  

With high hopes,
-Bushman





Saturday, March 15, 2014

The Ides of March and Bum Fights

The ides of March are upon us.
Now I don't know if you know all about the Ides or not but what I can tell you is it doesn't have anything to do with basketball, thank heavens!

The ides are a  Roman thing.  The date (15th) is specific to the death of Julius Caesar.  Not Orange Julius or Caesar salad but the actual guy who those things are named after!
He must've been really famous like Paul Newman.  Paul has salad dressings but Julius, he has a bunch of food named after him!
You think if Julius came back we could get him to shoot a game of pool with Tom Cruise?

It would be a sweet remake of The Color of Money   Julius Caesar and Tom Cruise (lets use the crazy Tom of today for more fun) would do a Cannonball Run across the country playing air hockey (billiards has already been done) to make money to fund their quest of hunting down Brutus and Cassius who would be played by Mike Tyson and Zach Galifianakis. On the way they would come across a semi trailer full of electronic cigarettes (real ones are not politically correct anymore) and try and hustle them while being pursued by the local sheriff, who ironically could be played by Burt Reynolds (as long as he can still drive).  On the way they could pick up an Orangutan (played by Obama) and Rocky (played by Rush Limbaugh)
and they would have to arm wrestle while boxing to win a new food truck to finish their drive to Atlantic City where it is rumored that Brutus and Cassius have entered the air hockey tournament of death.  The pair set their sights on Atlantic City with vengeance in their eyes.

For gas money on their road trip they could swing by Georgia and pick up Paula Deen (played by Oprah...sorry had to do it) and she would make food in the food truck and would constantly fight with Obamagutan about getting his feces into everything he touches!  (see what I did there?  Damn I kill myself)

Halfway there the big orange monkey gets sick but the new healthcare system fails him and he ends up dying but they can't spend their precious gas money on a funeral so Oprah Deen slices and dices him into hors d' vouers and they kill two birds with one stone.

Yes I know they would have to make several detours to get the story line correct but Map Quest has actual driving directions for this.  Philly to New York to Atlanta to...well it sorta looks like a Florida voters ballot.


In the end they reach Atlantic City, defeat Brutus and Cassius, (not before Brutus rapes Oprah Deen and bites her ear off) and live happily ever after or at least until Mark Antony finds out and history again repeats itself.  Sly slinks off the screen with his giant right arm and goes off to be a hot dog vendor for Lincoln Financial Field where the Eagles play football.

I must say that wasn't where I wanted this post to end up but you know me and my demented brain!
I was shooting for a history lesson sort of Al Penwasser style and this is what I ended up with.  LOL
So here goes the original intent.....

If you were wondering about the ides of March you could always google it!  The ides were a way the Romans counted their days.  They didn't count the month out like we do.  The 1st through the 31st they had three times of the month and they counted backwards from them.  This really messed up the women and their birth control pills.
Now do I start in the middle of the pack or at the end and switch to the middle?

The Nones typically the 5th -7th.
The Ides which were around the 13th -15th
The Kalends bringing up the rear with the 1st of the following month
Can you really bring up the rear with the front?



Most ides were on the 15th except for March, May, July and October.
The March Ides was made famous by the assassination of Caesar.

The Ides were sacred to Jupiter the highest of the Roman gods and were celebrated with parades and drinking.  Which is why I am officially changing my heritage during the middle of the month.  I am now Italian on the Ides!  I even got this shirt to cover all of my heritages!


Well parades of sheep anyways which were sacrificed at the end but boy did it ever bring the rednecks out of hiding!

The Ides also were a celebration of the Goddess Anna Perrena.  Her Latin name was Annus.  Ummmm yep you guessed it....more rednecks!



The Ides were also an observance of Mamuralia. This was where they dressed an old man in animal skins and beat the crap out of him driving him out of the city.  We do that here with the bums on the corner!  Except we dress them up in Detroit Lion's uniforms.  Makes it easier to beat them.

So now you have good cause to celebrate today!
When the cops ask just tell 'em Bushman said so!

Happy Ides!
-Bushman



Sunday, March 9, 2014

Choo Muzt Tell Za Troof

"It was just a box!", the man screamed.
Blood poured from his nose and the cut over his eye.  Both eyes were almost swollen shut, reduced to tiny slits.  His ribs, he feared, were broken in more than one spot and he knew his fingers would never again hold a pencil but still, he held firm.
"I swear!  All I did was open the box and set it on the floor, nothing else", snot and tears began to intertwine and elongate like mutant icicles from his mangled nose.  He began to blubber, tears squeezing out between the black and blue eyelids.

The officer with the khaki pants and polished leather boots cracked his riding crop across the back of the man's neck and he screamed out in pain.  "Nobody haz dis happen by juz liftin za box", his word were sharp and his accent thick.  "Now, you are going tellz uz what it iz dat you did or vee vill kill you!"

The man lifted his head and shouted, blood spittle flew and spattered the medals on the officers coat.
"I picked up a frickin box and set it back down on the floor you goddamn imbecile bastard!"
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And that my friends is the end of the story.  I would like to tell you the man was set free with a bottle of vicodin and some muscle relaxers but it isn't true.  As of right now he is still bound with chains and in pain.
His story holds true though.  It really was just a box and it really wasn't even heavy!

Thursday while at work I had a shipment arrive that contained some things for our new 5S regimen at work and I was unpacking the pallet of boxes.  I had ordered a case of Simple Green cleaner and it came in gallon jugs, six to a box.  Two of the jugs had been removed for use and the remaining 4 sat in the box which was packed in a larger box surrounded by packing peanuts.  I removed the smaller box from the larger one, shaking off the peanuts and turned to set it on the floor and halfway down my back went out.

Not sure where it went but it hasn't returned yet.  4 days of pain.  Sometimes sharp pain and sometimes not so bad if I sit just right but at all times there is a constant ache.  Top that off with a cold I've had for some time now that has an occasional cough and the "Oh God help me" sneeze thrown in.  It makes for a most pleasant situation.

Of course it comes when I have the downstairs bathroom gutted.  The framing was finished and the electrical was done and I had just began the drywall stage. (oh how I hate drywall).
So of course being who I am it's either I work in pain or sit on the couch in pain.  So with the help of the wife I got the rest of the drywall ceiling up and began the first coat of mud last night.  It takes a long time because I can't bend over.  I can stand up straight and be fine but the second I start to bend it drops me to my knees.  I went to the chiropractor and he snapped, crackled and popped his way all over me like some sort of demented rice krispie.  That didn't help much at all.  First time I've cried in a while though!  LMAO  No not really more like CMAO.
We went to the home improvement store to pick out the floor tile and a few other things and I felt like such a low life as I stood by while my wife loaded multiple 50lb boxes of ceramic tile and big heavy bag of thin set mortar.  I wish I had a sign I could have held up that said, "Bad Back on Board".

I have to return to work tomorrow and if it isn't any better than I will be going to the company doctor.  Lets hope I haven't ejected a disc out of my spinal column.

Weather has been looking better.  Snow is melting just a tad bit.  Sun is moving north and growing stronger everyday.  I even ordered a new batch of cigars in anticipation of warmer weather!
Forecast says 45 tomorrow!

It's hard to believe that I will be planting a garden in 6 weeks!  I need to get that started to!  Damn back anyways!
Ciao for now!
-Bushman


Sunday, March 2, 2014

Shit Happens!

So yesterday morning started out quite normal.  Awake at 4:30 and outside in the bitter cold taking care of my cursed animals sweet lovable pets.  Building a fire and waiting patiently while it coaled out enough to shut the doors and leave it unattended (15 min).  Finally securing a hot cup of coffee and tucking myself into the couch cushions with my laptop.  A typical weekend morning for me.
Momma awoke and jumped in the shower.  She had to go to work on a Saturday because they were moving her office and she had to unpack everything.
Of course I was on my 5th cuppa and well nature came a calling.  I didn't want to bless my wife with the rituals of my morning so I went downstairs to my daughters cluttered death-hole bathroom.  She wasn't home anyways!  Without getting to graphic I reached back for a courtesy flush and a second later felt water on my bare feet.  WTF?

Well it turns out that the wax ring under the toilet had been leaking and to make matters worse the person that we bought the house from had installed a floating vinyl floor over the existing linoleum.  I believe the toilet had been leaking for awhile but the water had been going in between the two vinyl floors.  Weirdest thing I ever seen in my years of house remodeling.
Well that water seeped between the floors and made its way to the drywall and began climbing up the drywall.  When I removed the toilet you could see how the drywall was rippled from the moisture.  It had reached almost to the top of the toilet.  (One more reason we didn't notice it because it was hidden behind the toilet.)  The water had reached the baseboard trim and had penetrated the drywall behind it.  There was a lot of mold hiding behind the trim work.
It's hard to believe that we wouldn't notice it but I think because it is Kait's bathroom and the doors are always closed is one reason.  The fact that she is a girl and her bathroom always smells like shampoo and perfume is another.  Also this morning I was talking to her about how I felt the water on my feet is how I noticed it and she said she always stands up,flushes and immediately walks away so she would have never felt it on her feet.
The water only went so far from the toilet before draining back toward the base.  If your feet were not right next to it for a few seconds after the flush you would never know it.  Another main reason is the lighting in the bathroom is terrible.  The only lights are the ones that are above the vanity and the toilet is all in shadows.
Sort of the "perfect storm"!

So I peeled up all the vinyl tiles as well as the linoleum.  Removed all the baseboard trim.  Ripped out the entire closet and shelves.  Removed the drywall from 2 of the walls and cut the bottom portion of one salvageable wall.  I still need to remove the entire sheet of drywall from behind the toilet.
Then I decided if I was going to remodel half the bathroom I might as well remodel it all.  So I ripped down the drop ceiling and all the tracking.  Next step is to remove the existing vanity and top and replace that as well.
I discovered that the framed wall behind the toilet and closet was not built correctly.  It is attached to the concrete floor but not to the floor joists above so you can actually wiggle the entire wall.  So today I will reframe those walls as well as frame in the ceiling and furnace trunkline to support the new drywall ceiling.
I will install a new vent/light next to the shower and vent it outside( the old vent simply vented up above the drop ceiling) also recessed lights above the sink.
I need to make sure the 2x4s that are sitting on the concrete are completely dried out before closing them back in with drywall and trim.  It will be a few days of having a fan blowing directly on them before they are dry.
I will not put the closet back in as this bathroom is quite small to begin with and leaving it out opens up the room a bit.  I think a couple corner shelves will be just fine.  I will make sure they match the vanity.
I found some ceramic tile for the floor that I like.  Three different sizes of tile will give it a more custom look.  6", 12" and 18" tile.  Randomly set.

I was complaining of being bored but really didn't need this!  We just paid off all our credit cards too!  LOL
We went from replacing a $4 wax ring on the toilet to a $700 bathroom remodel!

In this pic you can see the closet as well as the floating tiles.  The hole is where the toilet was.


The hammer is lifting up the tiles.  There was a film of water under all of these

The closet is ripped out.


Sill plate removed from the old closet wall.  You can see the mark on the floor where it was.  The section of wall on the right I will just replace the missing piece of drywall.  The back wall will get totally replaced.


The package hanging on the wall above is the new flusher system for the toilet.  It is a water conserving one that works by lifting the flush lever for a half volume flush (pee) and pushing the lever down for a full volume flush (poo).  It was about $30 more than a standard flush but well worth it.  Saves water, saves electricity by not having the pump run for a full tanks worth and also is easier on the septic system.

Time to go!  I have to run to town for the recessed lights and the vent/light so I can get the ceiling framed in today.

Shit Happens,
-Bushman