If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sunday Salutations and Back Up Offers

Hello again and welcome to Sunday salutations.  Thought I was gonna forget ya?  I almost did.  Sorry.  feeling a bit sub par.  As Bruce puts it I have the 5th season which is Flu.  I haven't been sick in like two years so I probably deserve it just for being a healthy prick! 
Well previous post on house has already fell through.  They have a primary and a secondary offer.  Well fuck you very much I will not be a third.  We all know three's a crowd.  Besides I was hesitant about the lame dick house in a subdivision anyways.  I had a momentary lapse of good judgement in my chronic state of the 5th season. 
Sometimes I wonder if my realtor is just fucking with me.  Is it really possible that everything I look at either has an offer,  is already sold,  is unobtainable due to flood insurance or does not qualify under FHA guidelines?
Or perhaps I am just destined to buy the one house I wanted from the very beginning even though it has obtrusive amounts of spring water pouring into the basement which causes the sump pump to run 24 hours a day.  Perhaps destiny and fate (ill as it is) were meant to marry and provide me with the one house that would qualify for its own show on the dreaded DIY television series.  Ironically here's the catch.  I offered them 55K months ago when the original listing was at 70k.  They (HUD) declined my offer and the house continued to sit on the market.  Guess what the list price is now?  No not 55 but close 61K is the new magic number.  I bet they would take my 55 now. 
Crazy, crazy, crazy is the business of house hunting.
Have you seen the show Property Virgins with that obnoxious brunette who thinks she knows everything about real estate ( she might but lets not be crass)  That is like shooting fish in a bucket.  Not to mention extremely unrealistic.  Two love birds set out to buy their FIRST house.  They have 120k available for a down payment and are qualified for 565K mortgage.  WTF  oh boy I'm hooked now.  Honey come watch this- these people have the same criteria as us.  NOT.  And why the fuck are they always gay.  Do you have to be a homo to qualify for this show or does that just get you extra points. 
My point is that they really need to get down to a normal perspective of life.  Where people don't have shit saved because gas is $3.50 a f-n gallon.  Feeding a family of 4 costs $150 a week in groceries, sports for the kids costs a fortune and when you buy a six pack of beer your expected to make it last for two sessions.  Hello is anyone out there listening?   That is interesting because people can relate and it gives them hope.  All we need is hope to keep us going.  Something to look forward to.  Yeah I know it's my own fault I could have went to college and became rich and smart or rich and dumb but regardless someone has to do my job and your job and his job.  We all can't be on top.  I'm OK being here.  Just give me a chance to be happy and a chance to make a go of it.  That's all I want.  So until next time I bid you farewell and adieu!
Back then we thought THIS was expensive!!!

Which way to turn???

If you turned right this may be your next profession

1 comment:

  1. this post was the trifecta- interesting funny and cool...loved the pics!

    and true on that 120k down? fuck that. I put 20 k down on my last house, the one i lost in foreclosure and the only reason i could do that was cuz i was making 100k that year.

    the reality tv world is totally fucked!

    sorry you are in the fifth season...i spent nearly the last two weeks living there...

    take care! do the chicken noodle soup and nyquil thing!


Leave your comment here please.