If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Trimming My Toenails with the Log Splitter

Cotton Mouth, check.  Slight headache, check.  8am,check.
Yep must have been drinking again last night.  Sometimes it's worth the side effects to just drink it up and enjoy the day and/or night or morning if you into that kinda stuff.
I worked yesterday until noon.  A bit of overtime never hurt anyone.  Especially me!  I'm so broke I can't even pay attention. What?
Anyways after work I stopped at the fueling station and loaded the trunk of my car with a 5 gallon can of gas and a 20 lb cylinder of propane.  I swear I seen Timothy McVeigh at pump 10 give me a nod of approval but then again I hadn't started drinking yet and my eyes were a bit blurry.  I heard something about fertilizer but brushed it off as post traumatic work syndrome.
Isn't it odd that we are conditioned now to pay such high gas prices?  It was down to $3.65 a gallon and we are all like "yippee" now I have enough money leftover from my paycheck to buy a six pack of Blatz that was leftover from Vietnam from that one legged guy down at the army surplus store.  That is just what I did.  Well maybe it wasn't the army store, like I said before, syndrome, not drinking yet, fertilizer.  Things can be all fuzzed up after working all week.  I need some beer   time to get things straight.
We had Rachel and Lant over for a chicken wing fry last night.  As promised they brought the tractor cart and the log splitter and I delivered frosty beers and hot chicken wings and fries.  I did the fry in the garage so my house didn't smell like fried chicken for a month.  I used my fish fry basket and my turkey fryer burner set up.  I had the sauces pre-made and kept them warm on the camp stove on my work bench.  There was a traditional Buffalo style sauce, a honey BBQ and a garlic.  I also put about a dozen wings in the smoker and smoked them for several hours and then deep fried them as well.
We ate a bunch of wings and drank beer for a couple hours and then full of wings and sodden with beer I made my way to the bedroom and probably snored away the night. 
But before all of that took place I was able to cut the lawn, and cut down a big tree on the side of the house.  It was an ash tree that the stupid Emerald Ash Borer beetle killed.  I cut it down and I will split it today.
I also have three big cherry trees to cut down as well.  Choke cherry trees that is not the eating kind of cherry.  I should get about 8-10 face cord of wood out of them.  They are big!

Enough about that, I tried the new Facebook this morning.  On the computer that is.  Usually I just FB off my phone and the layout is different.  The new PC Facebook really sucks!  In fact it was so bad I don't think I'll go back.  I don't want to read every comment from everybody.  Stupid dummy heads!  So in an effort to find something to do that is funner than the new Facebook I am headed to the back yard to trim my toenails on the gas powered, hydraulic, 3 ton log splitter.  Hmmpff!

One more thing.  I came across this letter the other day.  Must have been a mix up at the post office.

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because
some Spanish douchebags invaded our country and we got a little busy OK?

The Mayans

Hey have a great Saturday would ya!


  1. ah...yes... a bit o' the hair o' the dog is usually my fix...

    it is always 5 o'clock somewhere...

    not that i have been in the over-served state recently...

    loved the part about Timmy and the fertilizer...

    you always give me a hearty chuckle! and for that i thank you!

  2. Hangovers: nature's way of compelling you to stop drinking.
    Until you go to your brother's house.


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