If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Groundhog's Day and the Retarded Weatherman!!

Well the storm of the decade turned out to be a flop.  Who am I kidding we all had our doubts.  I want to be a weatherman in Michigan.  You could get drunk on a school night, stagger into work, tell everyone we are in for a blizzard of up to 24 inches of snow, schools get cancelled, General Motors shuts down, even my work was closed today, then  we get 6 inches of snow with some drifting nobody, holds you accountable and you repeat the whole scenario next time two fronts collide.  Sounds like a job for me.
Happy Ground Hog Day nevertheless.  I wonder if Punxatawney Phil will see his shadow or not.  I would have to research it a bit more but It's a trap anyways like if he sees it there is six more weeks of winter but if he doesn't then it's only 6 more weeks till spring or some gay shit like that.  It's still too freaking far away.
You know in my yard if Phil pokes his head above ground he gets a bullet in the ear.  STOP digging under the foundation of the workshop you little tick and flea infested varmint.  Nasty virile creatures they are.

On a lighter note I would like to welcome Catie to the Simple Life.  If you get a moment check out her blog it will take you back to younger, funner world.  It's a treat to read.

In honor of Groundhogs Day I will not post a porno title but a porno picture!!!  (For new readers I like to post a porn title off of my cable TV directory every post.)  Yeah Porn Pics finally appear on the Simple Life.....

I think groundhog Day could be better managed of course.  Like how about the first Saturday in February.  We could turn it into a major event with the addition of Punxatawney Phil's Pilsner.  Or we could do shots of Groundhog Pucker.  We could have cool shirts and hats with neat little sayings on them....like this one.

The stores could carry an assortment of banners and ribbons all with the little marmot embossed on them.  Why not?  We need another party holiday.  Valentines Day is much too depressing for Nerds and is more like a mandatory expenditure for married people.  "Give us Groundhogs Day or Give us Death ", to quote a famous late American icon.  Phil Henry.  (Patrick's furry little brother)
Next year I will embrace Groundhogs day slightly more than this year.  Perhaps with the above mentioned t-shirt. In case you didn't know what groundhogs do all winter while waiting for today...

Sometimes they have jobs.  But only in Michigan!!

" So without further ado I give you
your next American Groundhog!"---Ryan Seacrest

I just couldn't leave WalMart out of the story! Grrrrrrrrr

1 comment:

  1. I live in virginia and we never get the weather preicted, until it's to late that is. Thank you for checking out my blog and i do love yours. I feel bad for the weatherman, poor guy get's hated on so often. On a lighter note i watched "Groundhog Day" four times yesterday. To me Bill Murry can't do any wrong.


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