If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten

Hey there!  Welcome to my Thursday edition of A Simple Life.  A couple of things you will need in order to read this.
#1 A cold beer.  (or your favorite drink)  This is Thirsty Thursday you know.
#2 Absolutely nothing better to do because I don't want you to get to the end and say,"Crap, there's a few
     minutes of my life I'll never get back" 
#3 Another cold beer.  (Just in case it's really bad)

I am starting a new theme, if you will, on Thursdays.  It is called Thirsty Thursday and My Top Ten.  Duhh it's what the title says.  I only have one other day that is sort of permanent and that is Sunday Salutations.
Any other day of the week your guess is as good as mine.

Today I will focus on......c'mon focus......hang on a minute it's coming........nope ain't gonna happen!

So you get nothing but whatever is going to pop out of my head.  Sometimes I sit around looking or thinking of inspiration on what to post about and frankly it doesn't work.  I just have to sit down and start typing and then like magic (crappy dirty magic from the dollar store)  great words flow onto the page.  Here goes.

Yesterday at work our local credit union shows up with a shit ton of free pizza for lunch.  Unannounced I might add.  I already had my lunch. (ham and potato soup).  I happen to be a member of this CU so I drift off to lunch land.  Well they had extra pizza leftover (duh) and at the end of the day it was in the fridge.
So I grabbed a box and took it home.  Momma and the young uns were not going to be home for dinner and this pizza was my meal ticket.  I ate it.  All 8 pieces.  I warmed it up and sat down in front of the TV and began to gorge.  Picking up the remote control I turn the boob on.  Channel 59 pops up.  The history channel.  Ahh one of my favorites.  What is it? I ask the info button on my 3 foot long remote control.
Oooooooo!  The seven deadly sins.  This should be interesting I just watched the movie seven with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman.  I'm prepped, now lets see the details.  Commercial is over (along with 4th piece of pizza, hey I don't mess around) and the program resumes.  Up pops a picture of a fat guy eating pizza.  No kidding.  Then the narrator (not Mike Rowe who is the greatest TV personality ever) some guy I've heard on the military channel (two timer) proclaims Gluttony as one of the seven deadly sins.  Shit!!!  Turn it or leave it on?  I'm only half way thru my pizza.  Whatever, I think, it is what it is. 
To make a stupid story dumber, turns out there is a little hormone in our bodies called lectin.  Lectin is the stuff that tells us we are full after eating a certain amount of food.  Some people don't have lectin.  Some people have very little.  Very interesting.  I learned a lot about gluttony.  I also learned that I must have sold all my lectin when I was a kid (prolly for the money to buy Star Wars figurines) because I am always hungry.  Even when I'm full I think about eating.  So according to the two little mice in the cage, one fat and one small, it is not my fault that I like to eat.  The science is irrefutable.  So hand me that hunk of cheese will ya?  Felling a little groany down there.  hang on a sec.....
OK I'm back along with a fresh bowl of cheez its.  For my top ten today which is an accumulation of all things (good or bad, you decide)  that have transpired since last Thursday

#1 Damn house closing is probably going to be delayed.(will not escrow money for repairs,must be
     completed before closing)
#2 I got out of work early today.  (Two hours to be exact and no I did nothing fruitful)
#3 My two male dogs finally quit trying to hump each other.  (No...No wait a minute..never mind)
#4 I have self diagnosed myself as lectin deficient. (fat kid fist pump)
#5 I have a half pint of Mr. Daniels stashed in the freeze.  (Momma will say this is bad.  I beg to differ)
#6 Skylights in a bedroom above your bed are awesome.  (they suck when there is a full moon, hail storm,
      lighting, scorching summer sun)
#7 I have a new nephew ( Zachary)
#8 Update on the calf ? ( prognosis is gloomy)
#9 Changed the horse background.  (may put it back up after our quarterly meeting Tuesday)
#10 New beer is Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy ( beer with natural lemonade.  You be the judge)

So ends my Thursday edition of A Simple Life.  I hope you enjoyed it.  Don't really care if you didn't.
Thank goodnes for spell check cuz I'm on my 4th lemonade beer!!

As always I like to post up some funny pictures:

                                    This is my

Yeah probably!!

I'm looking for the right word to describe this....

1 comment:

Leave your comment here please.