If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Blacks and Blues Always Win!

There is a beautiful sunrise happening just outside my window.  It's an older window and has the slightest bit of condensation clinging to its edges.  The wood encasement is tinged dark with the introduction of moisture.  The brass clasp on top, although mighty and shiny in its former glory, holds a diminished hue and rightfully appears to belong in an antique shop.  

The colors are splendid if only brief in their moment of fame.  Reds and yellows framed by the black night on the sides and the promise of blue on the top.  As quickly as the beauty arrives it departs.  Blacks and grays and violet now rule the skies.  It seems as though the sun has had a quick battle with the sky and now on the losing side is showing its bruises.
I watch this and realize it is about me.  A metaphor.  A giant shining ball of brilliant colors and it all seems so right.  On top of the world, expectations are limitless and you chance at a smile.  Even showing a few teeth and the dimples run deep.  It is a real smile.  A real feeling of happiness.
Then before you know it, before you get the chance to really enjoy the moment it is stolen from you.  Slapping your face with a cold hand over and over until the tears run down your cheeks and stain like the wood in the window.  Your shiny brass lock is restored to it's lackluster hue as you sigh and slump your shoulders.
Once again returning to your state of black, purple and blue.  The bruises will show up in the wrinkles at the corner of your eyes and white strands in your hair.  You cry and it does nothing.  It makes you angry instead of healing.  The blacks and blues.  They always win.

It is for this I am not Thankful.  You can take your Thanksgiving and shove it up your ass.
I'm tired.  I am also sick.  Sick of this horrible game that God calls life.  If there even is a God.  I really just don't think there is anymore.  If you are up there....Fuck You...I want my children back.  All three of them this time you fucking prick!

1 comment:

Leave your comment here please.