If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I am thankful for.......

There's three things in life I really, really like.  One of those is not you so don't get your hopes up.
The first one is beer.  Of course, typical guy.  Think about it though, beer makes you happy or happier depending on what you had for breakfast because you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.
It taste good (except for the Great Lakes Brewing Co beer...ackkk!)  It makes you go pee. (Guys love to pee, especially outside or off of balconies or that one time at a Kid Rock concert where I peed off the second level parking garage onto the hood of a GMC Denali on the first level)
Every time you drink one you get 10 cents.  At least in Michigan we have a deposit law.  Granted you already paid the ten cents but after enough beer the accounting seems to get muddled and every sip seems more and more like an investment.  Ta Dah!
It makes cold water warmer, ugly girls pretty and fat girls....well...ummm....friendlier?
You get the point. 
My second favorite thing is food.  For obvious reasons.  I won't go into detail because the first thing ate up way too much space.  Food rocks!
My third favorite thing is everything else(not you I already said not you duhhh).  Well not really.  Now don't get me wrong this is just little personal things.  Of course there is the wife and the family and the dogs but I am just listing my little pieces of treasure.  So my third thing would be.......writing.  I suck at it but if I can make me laugh, or cry, that's all that counts.  I get a kick out of this sport.
Which leads me to the whole damn point of this post...well not really but work with me here I've already had 4 beers and there is 20 cold ones left downstairs in the garage. (I love my garage too)
My list of things I am Thankful for:

I am thankful I can drink my coffee in the morning before I brush my teeth.
I am thankful that I can listen to Wham and still know the words.
I am thankful I can still listen.  (probably not for much longer)
I am thankful my truck is still in the driveway when I wake up in the morning.
I am thankful they finally mad ballroom jeans (though I do not own a pr.)
I am thankful that Whiskey comes in small bottles.
I am thankful that my semi wet sneakers still squeak the hell out of the Walmart floor.
I am thankful that my Set it and Forget has a timer....because I forget it!
I am thankful my friends at work think I'm a dick but still like me...I think!
I am thankful I own a chocolate lab and not a meth lab.
I am thankful that my yellow lab acts like a meth lab.
I am thankful that when I get a hot fire going in the fireplace there is always a fly that appears out of nowhere.
I am thankful I get to squish that fly.
I am thankful for just about anything because in the end it's all I got!
I hope you all have a great Turkey Day tomorrow and remember it's not just about the turkey its about the mashed potatoes and the gravy and the leftover sammiches and the...well........yeah!


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