If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Monday, December 26, 2011

The Day After (not the movie) and Tuna Free Dolphin

The Christmas lights are out again.  Third time this season now.  I think I have figured out the problem though.  I am very talented when it comes to figuring stuff out.  My conclusion?  They are afraid of the dark. 

Christmas was great.  Santa Momma gave me a couple pr. of blue jeans, couple shirts, a coat and some really bad ass cook books.  Apparently I am a bad dresser and need to cook more.  I get the point honey!

Dinner at the in laws was also great.  Giant spiral ham, cheesy potatoes, mashed potatoes with ham gravy, green bean casserole, pistachio pudding, baked beans, deviled eggs, veggie tray, pumpkin pie, apple pie and whip cream.  I topped all that off with 8 or 9 beers.  Yes I slept well!

We watched the Dolphin Tail movie last night on rape per view.  It was nice.  Next time I would mince the dolphin up and can it and as long as you label it Tuna free people will eat it.  Just has to be legit is all.

Today marks the first day of workation for me.  Fun time is over.  If you need me I'll be raping and pillaging the forest( in order to heat my home, not because there is elves in there) for the next three days.

Speaking of elves did you hear that they are making a new movie to go along with Lord of the Rings?
Yep it's called the Hobbit.  Starring Lorena..... oh whats her last name again?  I hear it's a short version.

I've been looking on line at some naked women wood stoves to replace the fireplace.  The efficiency at which I turn wood into heat for the house is about as efficient as the government and their control over......well anything it seems.  It has not even began to get seriously cold around here and I have burned up almost 5 face cord of wood.  That is a stack 40 feet long and 4 feet high.  A mere $2500 and I'll have it.

I swear she was the only one at Home Depot with a Will Work sign!  Honey....honey....Oh c'mon
I did manage to install an exhaust fan in the ceiling of the fireplace room/den and then I ran a three inch duct up through the floor joists and tied it into the cold air return faceplate.  I installed a switch in the wall for it, tapping into the power source in the laundry room, and voila, with a flip of the switch it pulls all the warm air from the ceiling downstairs and shoots it into the living room upstairs.  I put my digital meat thermometer into the vent and the air temps were reading around 88 degrees.  I told you I was good at figuring stuff out.  This will double as an AC vent in the summertime, sucking the cold air from the lower level and delivering it to the upper without the use of central air.  I know what you're thinking.  Won't the cold air return suck the warm/cold air right back to the furnace?  Yes it would but the furnace will not be on when this fan is running.  It's supposed to act as replacement heat/ cold.

Well those are my updates for now.  I'll check back later.
I need to go have a talk with the Christmas lights.  They just need a little reassuring is all.


  1. A bad ass cook book?
    Why, oh why, would you even want to cook a GOOD ass?
    Oh, and you inserted the word 'wood' after the words 'naked women' (even though you crossed it out). Nice.
    Have a great New Year!
    And look at any pictures you want.
    Just don't cook any asses.

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