If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Don't F%$k With Me!

Good Morning,
I only have a few brief minutes as I have to return to the eye Dr. one more time for a final check up and ordering of the new contacts.  He wanted me to wear these for a week and check the prescription once more before he ordered.
Not much has changed since the last time I posted.  A week of rest at work and my body id prepared for another grueling weekend of yard work.  A friend at work is having a "wood cutting" party on Saturday.  I don't know how the little devil suckered us into coming over to his new house and cutting down trees, splitting and stacking wood and hauling brush.  Maybe it was the free beer and food but anyways we now call him Al Sawyer after the incredibly well known Tom Sawyer and the whitewashing of the fence.
The critter war has begun here at the Bushman residence.  I put out a finch feeder full of thistle nyger seed and a hummingbird feeder last weekend.  The finch feeder had two new socks installed on it and some critter crept up onto the deck and tore holes in them and now there is seed everywhere and I am out a bag of seed and two new socks.
I let the dogs out the other morning and there was a possum at the back door.  They quickly pinned it to the ground but it played possum (go figure) and they lost interest and walked away.  He made his get away as soon as they turned tail.  This is the day I found the first sock torn up.  The next day I opened the back door and there he was again.  I shone my flashlight up at the finch feeder and noticed the other sock had been torn open. I don't know if he was the culprit but I did know he was gonna be the one charged with the crime.  I chased him behind the shed ( all this is happening at 4:30 in the morning and me in my underwear) and he ran behind some fence panels I had leaning up against the back of the shed.  I followed him with the light and when he reached the end there was my bad ass cat Jimminy.  He ran right into the cat but fearless Jim Jim didn't even move so he turned around and headed back towards me.  Of course he stopped mid way and now we had a stalemate.  Time for reinforcements.  I quickly ran back to the house and let out my two ferocious canines.  Remmi followed the trail right to the shed and I told him to get the possum.  A short hubbaloo followed, I heard some growling, snarling and a few thuds as I made my way around the shed to see the dogs standing over the possum who was in fact still playing possum which in fact worked again on my two brilliant mutts.  I called the dogs off and picked up a 4 foot long maple log and delivered the fatal blow to Mr. possum's head.
Oh by the way, he isn't playing possum anymore.  I went to work feeling vindicated.
The next night something got up on the deck again and knocked off the catch tray under the grill and also ripped the grease catcher from it and spread it all over the deck.  You know the peanut butter and birdseed pinecone feeders kids make?  My deck resembles that but in an unorthodox way.  It is grill grease spread in a layer and thistle/nyger seed on top of that.  Little greasy footprints are everywhere including on my new patio furniture.  I believe the culprit this time is a raccoon.  Oh the joys of living in the wild.
Anyways after the possum incident I put up this flyer.

So to all you critters out there, beware.....I don't play fair and I'll leave you with this last thought......


  1. possum belly and grits for dinner?

  2. When threatened by nature, I have no fear. I let my trusty Icelandic Sheepdog out into the yard to defend our home.
    By laying down and licking non-existent testicles.
    It may not be playing possum, but it certainly looks like more fun.

  3. Remind me never to race around your yard in the middle of the night while messing with your bird feeders.


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