If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Choo Muzt Tell Za Troof

"It was just a box!", the man screamed.
Blood poured from his nose and the cut over his eye.  Both eyes were almost swollen shut, reduced to tiny slits.  His ribs, he feared, were broken in more than one spot and he knew his fingers would never again hold a pencil but still, he held firm.
"I swear!  All I did was open the box and set it on the floor, nothing else", snot and tears began to intertwine and elongate like mutant icicles from his mangled nose.  He began to blubber, tears squeezing out between the black and blue eyelids.

The officer with the khaki pants and polished leather boots cracked his riding crop across the back of the man's neck and he screamed out in pain.  "Nobody haz dis happen by juz liftin za box", his word were sharp and his accent thick.  "Now, you are going tellz uz what it iz dat you did or vee vill kill you!"

The man lifted his head and shouted, blood spittle flew and spattered the medals on the officers coat.
"I picked up a frickin box and set it back down on the floor you goddamn imbecile bastard!"

And that my friends is the end of the story.  I would like to tell you the man was set free with a bottle of vicodin and some muscle relaxers but it isn't true.  As of right now he is still bound with chains and in pain.
His story holds true though.  It really was just a box and it really wasn't even heavy!

Thursday while at work I had a shipment arrive that contained some things for our new 5S regimen at work and I was unpacking the pallet of boxes.  I had ordered a case of Simple Green cleaner and it came in gallon jugs, six to a box.  Two of the jugs had been removed for use and the remaining 4 sat in the box which was packed in a larger box surrounded by packing peanuts.  I removed the smaller box from the larger one, shaking off the peanuts and turned to set it on the floor and halfway down my back went out.

Not sure where it went but it hasn't returned yet.  4 days of pain.  Sometimes sharp pain and sometimes not so bad if I sit just right but at all times there is a constant ache.  Top that off with a cold I've had for some time now that has an occasional cough and the "Oh God help me" sneeze thrown in.  It makes for a most pleasant situation.

Of course it comes when I have the downstairs bathroom gutted.  The framing was finished and the electrical was done and I had just began the drywall stage. (oh how I hate drywall).
So of course being who I am it's either I work in pain or sit on the couch in pain.  So with the help of the wife I got the rest of the drywall ceiling up and began the first coat of mud last night.  It takes a long time because I can't bend over.  I can stand up straight and be fine but the second I start to bend it drops me to my knees.  I went to the chiropractor and he snapped, crackled and popped his way all over me like some sort of demented rice krispie.  That didn't help much at all.  First time I've cried in a while though!  LMAO  No not really more like CMAO.
We went to the home improvement store to pick out the floor tile and a few other things and I felt like such a low life as I stood by while my wife loaded multiple 50lb boxes of ceramic tile and big heavy bag of thin set mortar.  I wish I had a sign I could have held up that said, "Bad Back on Board".

I have to return to work tomorrow and if it isn't any better than I will be going to the company doctor.  Lets hope I haven't ejected a disc out of my spinal column.

Weather has been looking better.  Snow is melting just a tad bit.  Sun is moving north and growing stronger everyday.  I even ordered a new batch of cigars in anticipation of warmer weather!
Forecast says 45 tomorrow!

It's hard to believe that I will be planting a garden in 6 weeks!  I need to get that started to!  Damn back anyways!
Ciao for now!

1 comment:

  1. That's an insult I need to use more often. "You goddamn imbecile bastard!"

    Sorry to hear about your back. Hopefully that doesn't thwart your garden. I already started mine. It's all about the jump start!


Leave your comment here please.