If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Dirty Chuck and the High Cost of this Low Living!

Tuesday at work has come and went
My body has fuel but my minds all spent

I don't know what the heck that is supposed to mean.  It's my lazy version of poetry.  2 lines and your done.
It really helps if it rhymes cuz otherwise people just think your freaking loony! 

No, really were a little slow at work.  We are building half the firetrucks that we were this time last year.  Granted we have half the work force now but there is still some time for gaffing, guffawing and plain old goofing around.  I really need to start carrying a pad of paper in my pocket because as I wander around the shop floor checking every one's work and more or less keeping things in line I get into some of the strangest conversations.  Bitch of it is I forget them by the time I get home.  It's not funny if you don't remember it.

Today we talked about stinky people and I remember the story only because I was in it.  No, not the stinky part either.  There is one person in particular that works for me us and his name is Chuck not important but he stinks.  He doesn't shower and wears the same clothes to work everyday.  He's rude, crude, crass and acts like an ass. (more poetry) We tease him but it does no good.  As long as you stay out of vermin jumping range I guess your OK.
Anyways the story goes like this:

I'm sitting in the Dr. office one Friday (we don't work Friday unless OT)  quietly, reading a magazine about how squirrels can find their way into any bird feeder if given enough time and the door, literally, busts open (thank goodness no one was standing there) and in bursts Chuck he who shall remain nameless.
It's too late to hide my face behind the magazine because he startled me with the slamming of the door and the squirrels and bird feeders are now face down in my lap so I have to acknowledge him and I say, " hi".  He nods and then walks right thru the door (without checking in) and into the back where all the Dr stuff happens.  Shortly thereafter his spouse walks through the door (now slightly askew from being beat open) and follows directly in the same scent  line of direction.  Neither person consulting the receptionist at all.
So I'm sitting there with this dumbfounded look on my face, not because of the door damage or the receptionist or even the squirrels and their hilarious antics of bird feeder mastery but for the simple fact that
Chuck stinky has the same damn clothes on that he had on Thursday at work.  I could still see the fresh, red grease on his trousers.  Sitting there with my mouth still agape, along with about 4 other patrons, wondering what in the hell is wrong with this guy, he busts out of the door he just disappeared behind moments ago with an armload of sample drugs just smiling his toothless grin. 
I don't know why I spoke and I apologize to the other patrons of this establishment but I just had to inquire.  I ask," what are you here for?"  He replies, none too softly, "My wife's hoochie is messed up and she needs some vag creams and I thought I would get some more free blood pressure stuff".
I was speechless and somehow stammered out something about OK see you at work on Monday and when I looked around at the other shocked members of this audience I could see that their squirrels and bird feeders were face down in their lap as well.  The pair eventually made their way from the office.. without removing the door fully from it's hinges and I sat there wondering...... I come here to get healthy?

Well it just so happens that his Dr moved from the practice and the door was fixed so I didn't have to change my Dr just to get out of his building.  So that was my story for today.  I hope you enjoyed it and I wish I could post a picture of ol' nameless but I suppose I could get in trouble for that but have you ever seen the pic of the guy that can pull his lower lip up over his nose and sort of has a Popeye look.  Yeah that's him!

I also have figured out a new name for my blog.  I think I'm going to title it:
"The High Cost of this Low Living"
Let me know what you think.
Have a great Tuesday and I'll see ya on thirsty Thursday!!


  1. seriously funny!!!

    that picture just poked out my minds eye...

    great post about whats his chuck...

  2. I have a feeling Chuck and Mrs. Chuck don't having bathing as a high priority item.

    *shudders at thought of her 'creams'*


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