If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

On a slow ride to Crazyville

My dog went on Prozac today.  No I'm not kidding.  I figured it was just sitting in the medicine cabinet so I would try it on him rather than let it go to waste.  In case your wondering why I have Prozac around instead of Lithium...well it's a good argument but for the sake of slow typing lets just say we are not depressed in this house.  We are too far beyond that for help.  I had better explain this one or I'll be getting phone calls to see if I'm ok.  (If you read this blog with any regularity most of you will know I am not.) 
Our vet, or should I say his vet prescribed them back when Gunner decided to eat a stick of Shout stain remover, a pair of girl's panties and a lint roller, well endowed with sticky sheets.  He spent two days at the Vets in a constant state of retching and some other noise that sounds like...........Hmmm I don't have that key on this keyboard.  Not good to say the least.  Vet said he had a case of separation anxiety and Prozac would help settle him out a bit. 
I said OK and walked out the door knowing full well the vet was a quack and no way in hell was I putting my dog on Prozac.
So with that said he had his second dose today.  I held off for a long time but in the end it's better for all of us.  I might be able to share it with him as the winter is starting to set in here.  Deer season was pretty much non existent for me.  Normally I would be in the field about 30 days by now and this year I managed 6 so far.  Luckily cars hit deer and I do get lucky from time to time. Hunting that is!
I don't have much of a story to tell lately.  This has been one of the craziest years in my life and I am still trying to process it.  (I'm a bit slow) 
I love the thought of a baby but I have to admit I am just a touch terrified.  I am almost 40 yrs old, just bought a new house and a new truck, one kid out of school and the other a sophomore.  A dog on Prozac and another with such huge nuts I have to photo shop them out of most pictures.  An economy that is killing us at work, a constant battle with the propane tank outside and its incessant need to empty itself while all the time I'm cutting and splitting wood to offset the cost.  Insurance costs going up and wages going down.  Gas, groceries, phone, TV, Internet all so so much higher than before.  It all gets to you and after awhile it steals the creativity and the humor right from your grasp and leaves you staring at the little blinking cursor wondering why nothing will type itself and why you have to sit and think of things that would normally just pour forth.
I sit and do the math and when the baby is 16 I will be 53 yrs old.  21 yrs old and I will be 58.  I will be collecting social security shortly after the college graduation.  It is difficult to grasp and I hope the baby doesn't really care that his folks will be almost fossils when he or she gets married and has a family of his own.  Perhaps it is just my own selfish need.
It all makes me crazy.
Do people just go crazy?  Like you go to bed one night all normal with your normal farts and normal snores but you wake up screaming like a loony and finger painting in poo?
Or does it just sorta happen gradually?  Like me.  I can just watch myself going crazy.  I have this little crazy gauge inside of me and I get up in the morning and the needle has moved just a touch to the right, the full mark.  Or would that be the empty mark?  Yep just a little more crazy today then yesterday.  Yowza bang bang howdy diggity doo ball.  Do you ever blow your nose in a napkin, preferably a blue one, and fold it in half then open it to see what shape you just made?  I do all the time (needle moving again)  Most of the time it looks like a moth but once in awhile it resembles a butterfly which gives me hope.  One time it looked like Godzilla and I was a tad worried.
Can you watch TV with your head sideways?  Like laying on a pillow?  Not me.  Why? .....Just crazy!
It's the little things you might not notice.  When you take a handful of chips out of the bag and put them in a sandwich bag for your lunch does all the little minuscule crumbs on your hand give you the heebie jeebies?  Does me..........Crazy!
So many things too look out for when you think your going crazy.  It sneaks up on you.  You can't fight it. 
So I just figure I'll put the dog on his anti depressants and I'll take Remmi in to get "tutored" and I will sit back and keep an eye on the needle.  You'll be able to tell which days it moves and which days it doesn't.  Just keep reading!
-Bushman

2 comments:

  1. Good morning Mr.Bushman!!! Your blog sounded like my life....

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  2. The dog eating all that stuff doesn't sound so bad. I've done the same, except I didn't eat the lint roller. The vet was a quack? You took your dog to a duck? What kind of bill did he give you?
    OK, I'm done.

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