If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

I thought it was global warming not global broiling!

The pool was refreshing.  A bit too warm but still refreshing.  I suppose it's hard to keep the water cool when it runs a hundred degrees for 5 straight days, he thought to himself. 
"Thanks for the dip", she said.  He mimicked, waved goodbye to their friends and they made there way from the deck of the pool and onto the crunchy, brown grass.  Sweat immediatley began to soak into his t-shirt.
"Lets grab a burger at Joe's before we head home", she suggested.  He nodded in agreement.

Perched on two bar stools, a cold, draft Summer Shandy soon found its way in front of him.  A 32 oz mason jar with ice hanging from the rim.  He drank greedily and let out a big sigh.  Three old men sat down the bar from them commenting on the heat and every play of the Tiger's game.  As the barkeep took the order, dust began to swirl down the once paved street now under construction.  The barkeep headed towards the front door.  "Eddy", she said.  "Give me your keys and I'll roll your windows up, looks like rain".
The three old men scoffed and joked at her.  "What the hell is this rain you speak of?  Never heard of such a thing".
Thunder rumbled in the distance and Eddy quickly retrieved the keys from his pocket and tossed them at the girl.  She dissapeared out the door into a giant dust tornado.  The wind picked up its intensity.

The man in the sweaty t-shirt looked at the woman he was with and commented something like being about time.
 Halfway through the burger and beer the building began to quake.  A few drops of rain splattered outside on the dusty sidewalk.  Then all hell broke loose as rain began to pour from the sky.  50 mph winds buffeted the building and tossed the rain completley sideways.  Soon the people inside could not see out the windows.  All eyebrows were up, all was quiet except a few holy shits that floated around the bar room.
As quickly as it started it ceased.  A total of bout 7 minutes.
The man and woman exited the building, climbed into their vehicle and headed home.  Hoping that all was ok at their house.  Little did they know.
Well despite the heat we have been able to hang on.  The little big storm that whipped through here that day was intense.  When we arrived home we found our patio set had been thrown from the second story deck and onto the ground below.  The glass table top had shattered into a million pieces.  The umbrella was almost unrecognizable.  A big maple tree in the sideyard had its top snapped right out of it and my garden was in shambles.  Much of the corn was laying flat,  tomato plants lay on their side.  Egg plant, broccoli and cauliflower were snapped off, and many of the onions lay flattened.
We did our best to clean up the glass but the wind was so strong that broken glass lay in a streak 60 feet long.  I was heartbroken.  The patio set was our housewarming present from the parents and it was almost exactly a year ago when we first got it.  My beautiful tomatoes were over five feet tall.  All the tops were snapped off.  There isn't much more to say.  Very depressing.  All this on the eve of our ten year wedding anniversary.
We headed to Lake Michigan the next day to salvage something.  The water was beautiful and it was much cooler by the shore.  The only bad thing was the sand was so hot it burnt our feet.  When we left at 2:30 the temperature in my truck said it was 90 degrees.  15 minutes later as we stopped inland for a late lunch it read 103.  We returned home exhausted and spent the rest of the day dozing on and off watching tv.
Today the temp is back at 100.
Somone please tell the devil that we found his weather and he can have it back!


  1. Well, ya know, it's not the heat, it's the hu....okay, it's the heat.

  2. It's the muggy heat...it kills me, good work!

  3. I got sunburnt like crazy today

  4. That damn Derecho knocked our power out for three days. Talk about a hot house. Hope your garden spruces back up and you can find another patio table.


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