If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

A Dream Awakening

I awoke from a dream in which I was at a high school friends house, chatting leisurely and playing cards while drinking coffee.  It was a short dream.  I didn't recognize any of his other friends.  Weird how that can happen.  My mind just creates these dream"seconds" and puts them in the dream or are these people that I have seen before but have forgotten?
There must be a correlation somehow.
I wonder if they receive a salary for their acting? 

In the dream as i entered the room I did take my shoes off, well actually they were my work boots.  I stood at the door mat wiping them over and over again while I scanned the room for evidence of footwear.  All I noticed were socks on the people in the room.  Their shoes were all piled at the door.  None of them were work boots.  They were nice shoes.
I removed mine.
Even in my dream my sub-sub conscious noted the shoes and directly related them to a status symbol.
I asked the friend what had transpired after high school. 
He had went to college and graduated and had a good job, though I don't remember what he told me.  I can remember shoes from the dream but not what his profession was.  I'm guessing it didn't matter the dream wasn't about his profession.
It seemed as if the dream took hours and also seconds at the same time. 
I awoke and lay there thinking.  What was that all about? 
The more I thought the more confused I became.

Is this what I expected my life to turn out like?
I love my wife and step children.  I wouldn't trade that.
I just wonder sometimes.  I never pictured myself working where I do.  Doing that type of work.
It's an honest living but by no means is it what I want to do.

Is it OK to just take the safe route?  The tried and tested.  Work, eat sleep for 50 years and then just eat and sleep for the remaining?  I've been working for about 24 years now.  I figure I have at least another 20 to go.  I won't even go into the whole social security thing, It won't be there when I need it.  All the money I've paid in over the years will be long gone. 
It just doesn't seem practical to live all these years working your ass off for what?  To pay the bills?  To drive a car or truck that essentially just gets you to work and back.  The circle of life is just that!  Round and round you go where you stop no one knows.  Bull!  I know where you stop! 
As you lay there on your death bed.  Your final thoughts, " why was I the only one in the room with work boots?"

The days slip by so fast now. 
Grey hair replaces the sleek black.
The fast black.

I feel anxious.
Always in a hurry
I'm halfway to the finish line
and only steps from the start.

From wake till sleep
a blur, a robotic dance
mindless, numbing

You awake one day
and your hands are gnarled
Your strong back
won't stay straight

The shine in your eyes
is lost to the haze
hiding, you hope

To see the light
is one thing
To hold it and feel it's warmth
is another

Do you posses the strength?
Is the will there?
Do you fight for dreams?


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