If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

B is for Farts

You won't believe this crap.  I swear I'm not making it up.  I know I'm kinda winging this whole A to Z thing around a centralized format about gardening but I swear this was not planned.

I have to write these posts the day before because I can't really do it the day of because it wouldn't get done until 6pm and you wouldn't have much of a chance to read it.
(Now if I could get my auto post to work we would all be good)

If your not a true follower (that pertains to everybody in the world but about 9 people) you would know that I started planting my seeds for the garden this year.  Not outside!
Geesh why does everyone always respond," Not outside I hope?"  Complete with that ghastly look of OMG you are one of those stupid people my Ma warned me about.
Of course not you ass hat!  This is what my garden looks like right now!

Minus the mountain of course!
I know, when am I going to talk about broccoli?  Seriously do you really want to hear about broccoli?
It's green and it smells like farts when you boil it.  There are you happy?
Or does it?
I don't boil broccoli anyways.  In fact the only thing I think I ever boil is pasta!  Never boil your vegetables people!  No, bad....go lay down!
Oh yeah back to the garden, seed thingy.
I planted broccoli this year.
The seed package said to plant it 1/4" deep, keep it moist and seedlings should emerge in 10-21 days.
How's that for a time frame?  I think the gomer that writes the seed packet instructions used to be a weatherman.
"OK folks it looks it could rain or snow or just sunshine for the next....oh say 10-21 days.  Pack an umbrella with your long johns and swimsuit."
Seriously though ( not really, I could never be serious) I planted Saturday.  My fart broccoli included.
Today when I came home from work:
Beautiful Broccoli !

My favorite way to eat broccoli?
Raw with some dip. 
We likes it raaaaaw my precious!
This is gonna be a long month (for you)

Bon Appétit



  1. I call people ass hats too! Must be a Michiana thing.
    I like broccoli raw, cooked but mushy, or with a ton of cheese. I love making soup with it. It's easy to make soup.
    Your seeds look awesome!

  2. Raw food is healthy for ya but I like broccoli either way . Your blog is inspiring me to plant my packets of seeds I bought. Your seeds look great!

  3. I just spent this weekend planting seeds in my baking pans from my kitchen. Don't know if they'll sprout but at least the pans are getting more use than they do in my kitchen! :-) Thanks for stopping by to see my A in A-Z. Now I need to post my B. I'm a rhymer, look at me.

    Yeah, that smells farts too. :-)

  4. You had me in stitches with the title...but it just kept getting better. I'm so glad you're doing the A-Z, I need your humour and your wisdom - but not that fart broccoli. hahahaha

    I'm a raw veggie person too - but I do steam broccoli for mom - you know how old people like their food - mashed or smashed! (that would be the potato or the bottle, take your pic)

    Like you I do my writing the day before...so it's got a little air time! (you know, away from that farty stuff)
    Mind you, I cut it close with "C" tonight, had a crisis on the home front so I deviated from what I thought i would do. The fun of winging it is that change is good!

    Have fun with C - is it Cauliflower or Cabbage or maybe Carrots...I'll have to wait and see.


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