Ramblings and Reflections

Troubled by lack of definition.

Seeking to fit in.

Looking back to find the answers.

Sounds like the start of an infomercial.

Why do we need to feel like we belong?  What is inside of us that tells us to fit.

I think the answer lies with our need to feel  wanted.

We all love to be appreciated and praised for our accomplishments.

It is what drives me.  I need to feel like I am worth something.

I don't have low self esteem.  I guage my progress in life on how much I make other people happy.

The funny thing is it's not for the people it should be.  Like my wife and kids.

I'm not sure what I'm chasing.  Not sure if I'll ever catch it.

Maybe it's time to just quit running alltogether.

I blog on here for fun mostly but sometimes I blog to express myself.

It's tough for a guy to spew forth emotions person to person.

This is an outlet for that.  If it makes you uncomfortable then you have the option of hitting the little red X up in the corner.

But don't you tell me that I'm a sissy or that I'm weird because that hurts.

Don't lash out on me because you think your more manly than me.

I always thought real friends would stand by you no matter what.

I suppose that their is no such thing as" real friends" anymore.

In the end we're all just fighting for ourselves anyways.

Selfish, hypocritical and cold hearted.

That will be the downfall of this great nation.  Our people just don't care anymore.

To be kind is hard.  Too care is hard.  To love is hard.

Face it were just too damn lazy.

Where do we go from here?

I will be nice.  I will be kind.  I will love.

The world may not get better because of me but I can guarantee it won't get worse from me!

I look at the bad things I have done and I am not proud.

I have made the same mistakes over and over expecting different results.

That in itself is lunacy!!

However I am at that point in my life where I don't want to do that anymore.

Maybe all my doing and pleasing was to make up for all the bad things I did.

I once knew a guy who was a vegetarian.  He ate really healthy because he liked to smoke pot.

He said it was a counter balance issue. ??????????????

Same here!  Always trying to even out the scales.  I'm tired of that.  I wish I would have known this earlier.

All of that ggod wasted on evening out the bad.  What a concept.  Dr. Phil eat your heart out.

I have done an enormous amount of soul searching latley.  Those of you who know me will understand why.

I have spent a lot of time alone.  Time to ponder the events of my life.  To look back at all the blood and tear stained pages of my novella.  Everybody wants to blame their actions on their past, and from their past figure out their present and future.  It's like trailing a deer.  If you put a piece of tissue paper on every blood spot after awhile you can look back and see the line that the deer has taken and where he's apt to go.  (excuse the analogy but it is deer season)  If I take a look back at all my pieces of tissue paper I don't like the line I'm taking.

I am deciding to change my course of direction.  If I don't I can forsee the outcome quite clearly.

I believe I am suffering from a thinking problem these days.  I think I will sit in the back of the bus for awhile.  I've been driving for way too long now.

Goodbye for now!