If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Best and Final......suckers!

Well nothing happened yesterday.  Inside of A Simple Life sometimes things can be pretty boring.  Sometimes that's OK but when it's the beginning of the middle of winter  (you understand if you live in the midwest) boredom is not welcome.  I begin to see the benefits of beer when it comes to these months. 
What I really need is a project.  Like a HOUSE.  We had an offer in on a nice 4 bed/2bath tri level on 2 acres last week but it was a bank owned property and there were multiple offers.  The bank kept best and finaling us so we eventually said no more and the offer stands as is.  If you don't know what best and final is, it goes something like this:
Bank--List price $81,900
Bushman--I offer $85,000 and bank pays up to 6% closing costs.
Bank--OK there are 3 offers all similar make your final and best offer.
Bushman--OK $90,000 bank pays 6% closing costs.
Bank--OK all 3 still close submit any documents or arguments that would most qualify you for this
            house and would you be willing to sacrifice the refundability of your 2% deposit after inspections.
Bushman--Hell no I am not giving up 2% but I will increase my offer to $91,000.
Bank--OK all three offers are still close.  Submit your best and final offer.
Bushman--Hey bank?  Could you at least use some Vaseline because this is starting to get painful.  Also
                 could you please hang tight for a few minutes while I look up 'final' in the dictionary because
                 apparently I think it means something else. 
Bushman--OK I checked it out and I was right so eat it and my offer stands at $91K.
Bank--We have accepted the other offer.  Sorry you lose schmuck.  And Bushman?  Don't mess with the
              Big B.  We'll fuck you over every time.  Go money, Go money, It's your birthday, It's your birthday

That my friends is how best and final works.  I suggest that should you find yourself in this particular situation and really really want the house just tell the bank that your best and final is whatever they want to put on the empty line on the offer form.  It really is simple.  I should know Simple.  Apparently not!

Here is another feature I am going to start including at the end of my posts.  Some may not like it but I find it to be hilarious.  Probably a guy thing.  I have cable TV.  Digital, high speed, double DVR system, pay per view movies and pay per view porno.  I didn't ask for the porno its Gratis.  At least the titles are.  If you want to order one its gonna set you back around $15.  I still get to look at the titles though.  That is where the idea came for the end of the blog.  A new porno title every time.  Folks there are thousands of them and sometimes I think our world might be a little twisted so I'll try and leave those ones out.  I hope you find them as funny as I do!

Here goes:
MILF party pantie pull down II.   (apparently I missed the original first episode)

And picture of the post.  A tribute to the bank and the shit they do.  A picture about shit;


  1. I've worked in the Real Estate Industry for a long time. These bank owned or short sale properties can certainly be a headache. You need a good Realtor helping you, one who has dealt with REOs and you need a lot of patience. The banks have a lot more money than you and can certainly call the shots. The right house with just the right terms, and on your terms, will come along soon. Love the elephant photo...couldn't agree more.

  2. Thanks for visiting Lea Ann. I was a litle disappointed to say the least but my research of buying foreclosures said to be ready for a battle and when you lose get ready for the next battle or loss. I've got the time just not sure I have the patience. Thanks again for stopping by

  3. Keep up the fight Jeff. The right house is out there. I like the elephant picture, too, but I love the porno title. Hilarious.

  4. Thanks Vickie,
    It can be frustrating as hell sometimes. I laugh everytime I read those titles. It's funny enough to read them on purpose now.


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