If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Freaky Friday and the Beautiful Jarra!

Good Morning,
At the tone the time will be 6:42 AM.  I wasn't going to post anything this morning but when I stumbled out of bed to let whiner 1 and whiner 2 outside for a potty and back for breakfast and then back out for potty 2 then back in I checked my e-mail via phone which was charging next to life giving machine (coffee pot) in the kitchen.  Lo and behold I had an e-mail from a complete stranger by the name of Jarra.  Jarra's e-mail is in Spanish.  I took a couple years of Spanish in high school (21 long years ago) and so I started to decipher my way through.  Now mind you 2 years of high school Spanish buried in years of stress, kids, marriage, multiple jobs, and many many beers is sort of hard to hang on to.  I can remember a few things.  Most have been forgotten so I was snickering at myself this morning as I stood there in my shorts at 5:30 in the morning while the dogs were out taking care of things.  Of course my first thoughts were of a perverted nature (sorry I'm a guy) so my translations were accordingly surmised.  Here ya go!


Espero que este correo se encontrará con usted en buenas condiciones. Mi nombre es Miss jarra Konte. Soy origen de Costa de Marfil, Senegal, pero que viven en la actualidad. Soy una niña muy sola. su perfil me atrajo, mientras que yo estaba buscando conocer a mi media naranja. Me gustaría conocer a usted, ya que la tribu, la distancia y la edad no me importa. Me gustaría que me escriba a mi dirección de correo electrónico, para que yo pueda explicar más acerca de mí junto con mi imagen. Aquí está mi correo electrónico (jarrakonte@yahoo.com)

En espera de su respuesta.


My translation,
I wish that you are in good condition. (mostly the latter half is how I derived this)
My name is Miss Jarra Konte.  (easy enough)
I am from the Coast of Marfil but actually live in Senegal.  (pero is but, vive is live, actualid easy guess)
I am a solar girl ( maybe that means very tan.  I like tan girls!)
You perfect me nicely.  Meanwhile I was cooking half of an orange.  ( just about all guessing now)
I like to cook and for you I will work.  (could be part of my fantasty?)
The distance is not important.  (won't the food get cold?)
I would like you to write me with directions to Radio Shack,  (apparently into electronics)
From there I will explain myself but for now use your imagination.  ( giggity)
Here is my radio Shack number (this is where I realized it meant e-mail but c'mon radio shack is funner)
Wishing for your requests,

Now my phone is small and it wasn't until I finished trying to translate that I seen the little MORE link at the bottom.  I'm thinking sexy picture.  Woot woot.  I press the little word on the screen quietly saying No whammies, no whammies and guess what pops up.....The English version.

I hope that this mail will meet you in good condition. My name is Miss jarra Konte. I am origin of Ivory-Coast, but living Senegal currently. I am a young pretty single girl. your profile attracted me while i was searching to meet my better half. i would like to get acquainted with you, since tribe, distance and age does not matter to me. I will like you to write me with my email address, so that i can explain to you more about me along with my picture. Here is my email (jarrakonte@yahoo.com)

Awaiting your reply.


Well Jarra,
Unfortunately I am very picky about tribal boundaries.  Age only matters if you are under 18 (laws are laws)
Distance? have you seen the price of gas?  Besides long distance relationships just don't work.
I'm sorry but it just isn't gonna work.  Just in case, do you have a sister that is very solar?

So ended my wonderful relationship with the very pretty and young Jarra.  I wish I never would have hit the more button.  I liked my version better.  Oh well!

She probably looked like this anyways!

Maybe next time!!


  1. I hate getting emails like that. I always respond with something witty and never hear from them again.

  2. i liked your translation better...we all want a solar girl with glow in the dark titties...

  3. I can't believe that she is so loose with her Radio Shack number!! I bet that's not all she's loose with....

  4. Hi Jeff - long time. I am lmdo (laughing my derrière off) at this post. Your translation is hilarious!


Leave your comment here please.