If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Friday, September 30, 2011

My Lawn and the Errrr..Ummmm turn around!

Thursday night is supposed to be Thirsty Thursday and all that jazz but it is also garbage night.  The weekly task of hauling the dumpster to the edge of the road where it waits for the inevitable trip to the dump.  The garbage not the dumpster.  Now that we live in a new house and a new area our pick up day is not the same as the old house.  We used to be a Monday pick up.  The G-man at the old house didn't show up till 7:30 in the morning.  The new G-man prefers a bit earlier.....like 5:30 in the morning.  Well I leave the house at 5:15 to go to work but I don't trust that guy.  So I have to have mine at the road the night before instead of before I leave for work.  This situation only applies to overtime days.  Like today.  The whole point of this stupid story about garbage men is that Obama used to be a garbage man.  No...not really.  The real point is I used to be a garbage man.  No....wait yes I did but that's not the point.  Actually there is no point.  Other than I haul my garbage to the street on Thursday nights.  Usually swaying back and forth a bit but in the end it gets there.
So last night I am heading to the street and I glance at the l;awn when I walk by and notice some tire tracks...in my lawn.....where there should be normal grass.  Apparently someone turned around in my lawn.
Its been raining all week and the ground is pretty soft...you get the point.
So I put the garbage bin in its spot by the road and head in the house.
Its bed time so I pajama up and crawl in beside the wife.  After a minutes pause I ask her,"did you turn around in the lawn?''
She hesitates and even though it's dark I can almost feel her biting her lip and see her screwing up her face and she says," err, ummm I may have missed the turn around."
"Missed", I blare into the dark.
"Yeah I think so", she says.  "What day is it?"
"Thursday", I answer.
"Well if it's Thursday then yep I missed it"
I'm not sure why Thursday had anything to do with it unless she has her Thirsty Thursday in the morning before work but we both had a good laugh and you will to when you see this picture.
Not really sure how she "missed"

The turn around is the big ass gravel thing in case you were wondering.

Now I have to go bug her for sex before she reads this!



  1. Hubby wouldn't let me name our little yellow dog buttercup. Said he couldn't drink beer and stand outside in his underwear to call the dog home.
    I'm sensing a kindred spirit!

  2. Maybe you need to draw some lines for her? I would suggest a fence of some type, but she would only run into that. Oh..and it is HER yard too!

  3. I had the exact conversation with Mrs. Penwasser yesterday morning!
    "Hey, did you see those big ass tire tracks in the front lawn this morning?"
    "Yeah, I uh..."
    "They came right from Val's car. Is the driveway too frikkin' small for her to frikkin' turn around so she doesn't leave frikkin' tire tracks in the frikkin' bog which is our frikkin' yard!!??"
    (NOTE: I did not use the word 'frikkin')
    "I...uh...that was me, jackass."
    "Oh, uh...wanna have sex?"
    Stupid frikkin' rain.
    At least I got my garbage out, too.


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