If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

My Backwards Thanksgiving

I suppose your all wondering what I could possibly post about today.  After all yesterday was my thankfulness list and all that crap.  So I can't possibly post more Thanksgiving garbage can I?
Sure can, but lets twist it up a bit.

Things I am not thankful for:

I am not thankful that there are actually real housewives of Beverly Hills, Atalanta and New Jersey.  Trust me we don't need them.

I am not thankful for kids who have a desperate need to show their underwear to the public and do so in such fashion that it requires one hand to hold them in the correct position while walking.  Is this some mating ritual I missed?

I am not thankful that Law and Oder, NCIS, CSI, Criminal Intent and all the other copy cats are still on TV.  I would like to just once have a conversation with my wife that doesn't involve the DVR.

I am not thankful the UFC deems it necessary to charge such high prices for pay per view when they have one a month and sometimes two.

I am not thankful that I have to choose between filling up my gas tank or buying groceries.  Can we please make an engine that runs on Ramen noodles? 

I am not thankful for heartburn, diarrhea, nausea or the dreaded burning ring of fire.  It messes with my beer drinking.

I am not thankful that Steve Irwin is dead.  No one else thinks it's a good idea to stick your finger in an animals bum.  Science people, strictly science...Crikey!

I am not thankful that the Bob and Tom show on the radio every morning plays the same damn clip about the fat woman eating cookie dough.  Enough already it is giving me subliminal messages and now I have a fridge full of cookie dough.

I am not thankful that my "beard" does not connect with my mustache or sideburns.  It gives the impression that I am dirty.  The other kind of dirty.

I am not thankful that the Detroit Lions teased us the begining of the season and when it came time to put out they called in the menstrual card!

I am not thankful that my little kitty thinks his litter box is a play box after he goes poo.  It's not a toy you moron leave it in the box!

Last but not least I am not thankful that all of you do not come here and read my crap because if you didn't and don't then I won't and I can't.  Re-reading it won't make any sense the second time either.  Leave it be!

Gobble Gobble Bitches!
-Bushman

3 comments:

  1. IM THANKFUL FOR YOUR WRITINGS AND NOT THANKFUL WHEN YOU DONT, GOOD,BAD,INDIFFERENT I LOVE TO READ YOUR BLOG. KEEP WRITING ITS MY WAY OF FEELING CONNECTED ACROSS THE MILES. HAPPY TURKEY DAY WITH LOVE

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thankful for Bushman!

    Have a great Thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now I'm tempted to compile a list of my own.

    Except I'd be a month too late.

    ReplyDelete

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